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Here's a good one...
- Thread starter BLeonard
- Start date
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She most likely would be, if he was not refusing her visitation and not giving her a phone number, so she can call the girls.
The main issue with the school is the fact that the stepmother is claiming to be the biological mother. Given the fact that she not only filled out the registration forms, claiming she was the mother and sending the judge a letter that used at least 50 "we" and "our" statements in regards to the girls. It's fairly obvious that the stepmother is overstepping her bounds and is trying to take over as the mother of the girls. Any mother would be greastly disturbed by that. If that's being nitpicky, I'm glad my wife is being nitpicky. What is happening is not right. Period.
Put yourself in a position where your ex is refusing you visitation, is signing documents stating that the stepmother is the biological mother of your kids, doesn't even give you a phone number to contact them and has refused you any and all documents that you are legally entitled to. Would you be comfortable with that? Oh, and throw in the fact that the last time you saw your kids, they referred to their father and stepmother as "Mommy and daddy" right in front of your face. Is that being nitpicky as well?
BL- don't worry about re-explaining to one idiot who refuses to see past her own nose....most of us here understand your points, your wife does need to get this back into court, the proper way, and have these issues addressed
OK, I can accept that explanation. But, say they call dad and he says "Don't change the info," even though my wife has PROVEN it to be incorrect. If she didn't walk in there with a copy of her divorce decree, sat at a table with the principal and physically SHOWN him that the info was incorrect, I could understand where they might be hesitant. And, yes, the father is the kind of person that would say "Don't change the info." In the past, he's gone as far as trying to tell my wife and I what the kids should be eating while at our house and that he should be consulted before punishing them in any way. Hell, when he learned that she and I married, his response was, "Why wasn't I consulted about this beforehand?"
Again, I can understand what you're saying and I'm not trying to disagree. But, at the same time, when a school principal has physical, tangible evidence right in front of him proving that a school record is incorrect, I would think that he would want to correct it. If he calls dad, and dad says "Don't change it," what is the mom to do then?
I can fully understand the prinicpal calling dad and saying "Your ex came in here proving these records to be un true and I'm changing them." The problem is it's "We need to make sure, even though we have proof that they are wrong, that it's OK with dad to change them."
In reality, my wife's major problem isn't even with the stepmother being in the mother slot, though she plans to bring it up in court. Her main concern with the school forms is the fact that she is not listed ANYWHERE on it, not even an emergency contact, and they would only put her on as that if it was OK with dad as well. Her concern is, if one of the girls gets hurt, goes to the hospital, etc, the school won't even bother to call her. How can they? She's not on the list... One of her kids could be in the hospital due to an accident at school, and she would have no knowledge of it. The school doesn't have the number and the father wouldn't call her.
That's her ultimate issue, being informed of things that happen.
-Bill
BelizeBreeze
Senior Member
Send a CERTIFIED(RRR) letter to the school's principal, the school district's in-house counsel and to the president of the school board along these lines:
Dear Sir or Madame;
I recently visited your school (name of school) to retrieve and/or peruse my child's (name of child) educational records, a right granted to me under IC 20-10.1-22.4-2 after sending a self-addressed, stamped envelope more than a month previous without response.
I remind you that I take my rights to access very seriously and expect you and your employees to mirror that seriousness. To this point, I expect to be notified when the custodial parent accesses or requests such records as I have been informed will occur when I make such a request.
I would also like information as to why the child's custodial parent was allowed to falcify the enrollment record wihtout notice by your employees or other puntative actions being taken.
and finally, I demand that my name and contact information be placed on the child's records which now reflect false information as to the child's 'mother'.
Enclosed I have included a copy my the most recent court order regarding custody and visitation rights and a copy of the most recent and relevant Indiana code for your education.
With all due regard,
[your name]
Here is a copy of the releveant codes.
IC 20-10.1-22.4
Chapter 22.4. Parental Access to Education Records
IC 20-10.1-22.4-1
Sec. 1. As used in this chapter, "education records" means information that:
(1) is recorded by a nonpublic or public school; and (2) concerns a student who is or was enrolled in the school.
IC 20-10.1-22.4-2
Sec. 2. (a) Except as provided in subsection (b), a nonpublic or public school must allow a custodial parent and a noncustodial parent of a child the same access to their child's education records.
(b) A nonpublic or public school may not allow a noncustodial parent access to the child's education records if:
(1) a court has issued an order that limits the noncustodial parent's access to the child's education records; and
(2) the school has received a copy of the court order or has actual knowledge of the court order.
This legal brief from the IN DOE provides case histories and additional information on this topic. A must for anyone encountering difficulties gaining access or in getting their name added as a parent to the child's records.
IC 31-39-2-7 Sec. 7. The records of the juvenile court are available without a court order to the parents of a child whenever the custody or support of that child is in issue in an action initiated under IC 31-15 or IC 31-16 (or IC 31-1-11.5 before its repeal).
Medical Records:
IC 16-39-1-7
Sec. 7. (a) Except as provided in subsection (b), a custodial parent and a noncustodial parent of a child have equal access to the parents' child's health records.
(b) A provider may not allow a noncustodial parent access to the child's health records if:
(1) a court has issued an order that limits the noncustodial parent's access to the child's health records; and
(2) the provider has received a copy of the court order or has actual knowledge of the court order.
(c) If a provider incurs additional expense by allowing a parent equal access to health records under this section, the provider may require the parent requesting the equal access to pay a fee to cover the cost of the additional expense.
Mental Health Records:
IC 16-39-2-9
Sec. 9. (a) For the purposes of this chapter, the following persons are entitled to exercise the patient's rights on the patient's behalf:
(1) If the patient is a minor, the parent, guardian, or other court appointed representative of the patient.
(2) If the provider determines that the patient is incapable of giving or withholding consent, the patient's guardian, a court appointed representative of the patient, a person possessing a health care power of attorney for the patient, or the patient's health care representative.
(b) A custodial parent and a noncustodial parent of a child have equal access to the child's mental health records unless:
(1) a court has issued an order that limits the noncustodial parent's access to the child's mental health records; and
(2) the provider has received a copy of the court order or has actual knowledge of the court order.
If the provider incurs an additional expense by allowing a parent equal access to a child's mental health records, the provider may require the parent requesting the equal access to pay a fee under IC 16-39-9 to cover the cost of the additional expense.
Dear Sir or Madame;
I recently visited your school (name of school) to retrieve and/or peruse my child's (name of child) educational records, a right granted to me under IC 20-10.1-22.4-2 after sending a self-addressed, stamped envelope more than a month previous without response.
I remind you that I take my rights to access very seriously and expect you and your employees to mirror that seriousness. To this point, I expect to be notified when the custodial parent accesses or requests such records as I have been informed will occur when I make such a request.
I would also like information as to why the child's custodial parent was allowed to falcify the enrollment record wihtout notice by your employees or other puntative actions being taken.
and finally, I demand that my name and contact information be placed on the child's records which now reflect false information as to the child's 'mother'.
Enclosed I have included a copy my the most recent court order regarding custody and visitation rights and a copy of the most recent and relevant Indiana code for your education.
With all due regard,
[your name]
Here is a copy of the releveant codes.
IC 20-10.1-22.4
Chapter 22.4. Parental Access to Education Records
IC 20-10.1-22.4-1
Sec. 1. As used in this chapter, "education records" means information that:
(1) is recorded by a nonpublic or public school; and (2) concerns a student who is or was enrolled in the school.
IC 20-10.1-22.4-2
Sec. 2. (a) Except as provided in subsection (b), a nonpublic or public school must allow a custodial parent and a noncustodial parent of a child the same access to their child's education records.
(b) A nonpublic or public school may not allow a noncustodial parent access to the child's education records if:
(1) a court has issued an order that limits the noncustodial parent's access to the child's education records; and
(2) the school has received a copy of the court order or has actual knowledge of the court order.
This legal brief from the IN DOE provides case histories and additional information on this topic. A must for anyone encountering difficulties gaining access or in getting their name added as a parent to the child's records.
IC 31-39-2-7 Sec. 7. The records of the juvenile court are available without a court order to the parents of a child whenever the custody or support of that child is in issue in an action initiated under IC 31-15 or IC 31-16 (or IC 31-1-11.5 before its repeal).
Medical Records:
IC 16-39-1-7
Sec. 7. (a) Except as provided in subsection (b), a custodial parent and a noncustodial parent of a child have equal access to the parents' child's health records.
(b) A provider may not allow a noncustodial parent access to the child's health records if:
(1) a court has issued an order that limits the noncustodial parent's access to the child's health records; and
(2) the provider has received a copy of the court order or has actual knowledge of the court order.
(c) If a provider incurs additional expense by allowing a parent equal access to health records under this section, the provider may require the parent requesting the equal access to pay a fee to cover the cost of the additional expense.
Mental Health Records:
IC 16-39-2-9
Sec. 9. (a) For the purposes of this chapter, the following persons are entitled to exercise the patient's rights on the patient's behalf:
(1) If the patient is a minor, the parent, guardian, or other court appointed representative of the patient.
(2) If the provider determines that the patient is incapable of giving or withholding consent, the patient's guardian, a court appointed representative of the patient, a person possessing a health care power of attorney for the patient, or the patient's health care representative.
(b) A custodial parent and a noncustodial parent of a child have equal access to the child's mental health records unless:
(1) a court has issued an order that limits the noncustodial parent's access to the child's mental health records; and
(2) the provider has received a copy of the court order or has actual knowledge of the court order.
If the provider incurs an additional expense by allowing a parent equal access to a child's mental health records, the provider may require the parent requesting the equal access to pay a fee under IC 16-39-9 to cover the cost of the additional expense.
No, your wife MUST follow 'Proper Service' per your state's guidelines....ie; she must legally file and 'serve' the other party with ANY/ALL documents that the court is to review.
Yes I am an idiot because I allowed my now ex husband to spent over $20K in court fees over nick picky stuff. I am not saying that NCPs are lesser and never once came close to saying anything like that.
I wish the OP's wife luck on whatever she decides to do.
So, even though he has copies of these items himself (the letter from his wife and the enrollment forms), she should send him ANOTHER copy of them, along with the letter to the judge wishing to proceed with the hearing.
Personally, I was gonna reccommend she do so anyway. Give him copies of the exact same thing she gives the judge, whether he already has copies or not. Prevents him from saying "I never got those," even though his signature is on them.
So, basically, whatever she files with the court (her letter wishing to proceed, a copy of his current wife's letter and the enrollment forms) she should send to him as well... I told her to send them by certified mail, so she can prove they were sent. Seems to be the safest bet.
If I'm wrong on this, or missing something, please say so.
Thanks for the reply.
-Bill
Ohiogal
Queen Bee
Actually CJANE in many states state law requires them to give both the NCP and CP the exact same access to the child's records unless there is a restraining order on file that specifically prohibits it. So the school is very likely wrong. And should not be acting as judge and jury by choosing one parent over the other. They do NOT have the right to do that.
Ohiogal
Queen Bee
I should have read the whole thread and then I would have seen that BB beat me to it. And the fun thing is in many states if a school does not follow the law THEY can be found in contempt of court and made to pay fines. I have had quite a few long conversations with superintendents in my state regarding the fact that they need to play by the rules and KNOW the law or they will find themselves dragged in front of a judge to explain why their district thinks they are above the law.
LdiJ
Senior Member
So, even though he has copies of these items himself (the letter from his wife and the enrollment forms), she should send him ANOTHER copy of them, along with the letter to the judge wishing to proceed with the hearing.
Personally, I was gonna reccommend she do so anyway. Give him copies of the exact same thing she gives the judge, whether he already has copies or not. Prevents him from saying "I never got those," even though his signature is on them.
So, basically, whatever she files with the court (her letter wishing to proceed, a copy of his current wife's letter and the enrollment forms) she should send to him as well... I told her to send them by certified mail, so she can prove they were sent. Seems to be the safest bet.
If I'm wrong on this, or missing something, please say so.
Thanks for the reply.
-Bill
Whenever something is submitted to the court, that same something must also be submitted to the opposing party. That means the whole thing, including any evidence or exhibits that are being included with the pleading. Sure, he may already have a copy, but by law he needs to see exactly what you are submitting to the judge.
Your wife really needs to submit a proper motion for contempt, rather than just writing the judge a letter. The forms to do so are available at your local courthouse. If she writes a letter the judge may not see it, even though the judge told her to respond. She can also submit a copy of the judge's letter with her motion for contempt.
BelizeBreeze
Senior Member
LdiJ
Senior Member
She certainly can use those forms. However, if she goes down to the courthouse she will also get a little bit of "instruction" on what to do with the forms once she has filled them out. In some counties the court clerk will also handle "serving" the opposing party, but you don't really get the info on which ones will, and which ones won't, unless you talk to the court clerk.
However, one advantage to the downloaded forms (at least in word format) is that they can be modified to include additional information/instances of contempt.
Here is exactly what the guidelines say regarding school records...
1. School Records. Each parent shall promptly provide the other with copies of a child’s grade reports and notices from school as they are received. A parent shall not interfere with the right of the other parent to communicate directly with school personnel concerning a child.
Commentary
Under Indiana law, both parents are entitled to direct access to their child’s school records, Indiana Code ' 20-10.1-22.4-2.
To me, and I could be wrong, if the school is saying "we need to call dad to okay changes to the records," even though my wife has presented concrete proof that they are in fact wrong, they are not being "equal." They certainly wouldn't call my wife to make sure it's OK to change something (There's no way the could... As I said, the new stepmom is listed as the mother. And, where it says "Emergency contact," it says "Call mom - Works from home" and has the new stepmom's phone number). As far as these records are concerned, my wife doesn't even exist, not even as an emergency contact. They even have the "Lives with both parents" box checked when there is a "Lives with one parent - divorced" box right next to it.
Another interesting wrinkle in all of this that's up for discussion. The stepmom has 2 kids from a previous marriage. Now, on the enrollment forms for my wife's kids, it has her kids listed as other children in the family.
Here's where it gets interesting... Her kids are listed with my wife's ex's last name, as if he legally adopted them and changed their last name. While it's perfectly possible that this happened, and my wife doesn't really care about that in and of itself, what makes this discovery odd is this:
A little over a month ago, my wife called her ex, telling him that she was exercising her rights for the weekend and he should have the girls ready at 6 pm, which is when parenting time begins. His response to this was, "The girls aren't going to be here at 6 pm, they will be with my new wife (stepmom) as she is taking her 2 kids to their visitation."
Now, while I know that it's his responsibility to have them ready at 6, regardless of what her kids are doing, my question is, If my wife's ex legally adopted them (The enrollment forms were filled out in August, and the incident regarding visitation was in November) that would mean that the bio father would have had to signed off his rights. If that happened, I don't see how he'd be getting visitation, as they claimed.
So, based on that info, I would have to conclude that they are either lying about the whole "They aren't gonna be here" story regarding visitation, or, they are enrolling her kids into this school under the wrong last name.
My wife and I don't really care what they do with her kids, that's their business... It was just interesting. Would anyone besides the biofather be given visitation rights? Is it possible that my wife's ex did in fact adopt the other 2 girls, yet someone else still has visitation rights? My wife's ex and the stepmom were married in July, and these forms were filled out in August. How long does the adoption process take? More than a month, or can it be done in 25 minutes, like a courthouse wedding?
Like I said before, My wife and I don't really care one way or the other. It was just be interesting to find out if they are lying about yet another thing.
So, Ohiogal, does this mean that my wife could potentially have a case against the school, for them saying "we need to call dad before changing the records." She isn't really wanting to go after the school, she simply wants the records corrected without any hassles. If they were to call dad, trust me, there would be hassles. Again, this is the same guy that asked my wife why she didn't consult him before she married me.
Thanks to all of you for the replies, they have been very helpful.
-Bill