Shay-Pari'e
Senior Member
This bothers me the most. You knew he was making more, therefore his "X" should have been getting more for his children. You certainly didn't care about that untill now.
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Child support for his ex and me
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This bothers me the most. You knew he was making more, therefore his "X" should have been getting more for his children. You certainly didn't care about that untill now.
She went to have the child support modified and the judge decided that for what she makes, and what he makes, there did not need any changes to be made. Also in the last year he has had the opportunity to make more money and I want that to be a factor.
I have not had the money to put food on the table. Why should my child go from a household that was eating dinner every night, to me working my butt off to put a roof over our head while he sits at home with his steak on his plate? He's skirting around the system for his own gain, my child should not suffer for that. I can't help what the other kids mother does and how she abuses the money that she gets from him. But I will fight for what is owed to my children.
I have not had the money to put food on the table. Why should my child go from a household that was eating dinner every night, to me working my butt off to put a roof over our head while he sits at home with his steak on his plate? He's skirting around the system for his own gain, my child should not suffer for that. I can't help what the other kids mother does and how she abuses the money that she gets from him. But I will fight for what is owed to my children.
Shay-Pari'e
Senior Member
It didn't bother you when he was skirting around the system with his other two children.
If your child has no food, I suggest you get a job really fast, or your child will be taken away from you.
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Touché.
I agree and didn't think about the handle name until after I started posting and mentioned that I'm pregnant....its a nickname that I've had since I was little...not due to the meaning but due to my name.....like Anabel....if you catch my drift, not that I need to explain but I understand what it misrepresents. I'm not a whore and loved the father of my children. I am not out for a payday. And I don't mean to come off as bitchy or a high horse hog.
Thank you for the links that you forwarded, I have been to them and have tried to research as much as I can and I feel like I'm going in circles and the system doesn't care. I'm scared and alone and don't know how I'm going to be able to take care of my child on my own and don't know where to go for help. Yes, I stumbled upon this site for help and I feel since I posted my question this morning I've had to be on the defensive and that I'm in the wrong for having a child.
I apologize for taking your help the wrong way. And again I thank you for the links.
I agree and didn't think about the handle name until after I started posting and mentioned that I'm pregnant....its a nickname that I've had since I was little...not due to the meaning but due to my name.....like Anabel....if you catch my drift, not that I need to explain but I understand what it misrepresents. I'm not a whore and loved the father of my children. I am not out for a payday. And I don't mean to come off as bitchy or a high horse hog.
Thank you for the links that you forwarded, I have been to them and have tried to research as much as I can and I feel like I'm going in circles and the system doesn't care. I'm scared and alone and don't know how I'm going to be able to take care of my child on my own and don't know where to go for help. Yes, I stumbled upon this site for help and I feel since I posted my question this morning I've had to be on the defensive and that I'm in the wrong for having a child.
I apologize for taking your help the wrong way. And again I thank you for the links.
no problem
yeah. i am a bit touchy because it feels like inspite of all MY research and all MY answers, my husband is still getting screwed and we are unable to prevent it.
no worries. we all fall down. it doesn't matter how many times we fall, it only matters how many times we get back up.
i am not very experienced in the court system, it intimidates me still, however, if you want specific answers to your questions i suggest you call a family law courthouse in your area, speak to anyone (court clerks, maybe?) who answers questions and ask them your specific questions on court procedures.
before we end up in court, that is my plan.
peace, girlie, life is to short to dwell on misunderstandings.
ETA: if it gives any comfort, i have been reading child support laws, guidelines, case laws, etc for over three months JUST RECENTLY have i begun to understand it. i'm not really that smart when it comes to legal, it seems. i'm saying that just so you know that this kind of understanding seems to come to some of us only by immersion. we have to soak in it a long time before comprehension sets in.
yeah. i am a bit touchy because it feels like inspite of all MY research and all MY answers, my husband is still getting screwed and we are unable to prevent it.
no worries. we all fall down. it doesn't matter how many times we fall, it only matters how many times we get back up.
i am not very experienced in the court system, it intimidates me still, however, if you want specific answers to your questions i suggest you call a family law courthouse in your area, speak to anyone (court clerks, maybe?) who answers questions and ask them your specific questions on court procedures.
before we end up in court, that is my plan.
peace, girlie, life is to short to dwell on misunderstandings.
ETA: if it gives any comfort, i have been reading child support laws, guidelines, case laws, etc for over three months JUST RECENTLY have i begun to understand it. i'm not really that smart when it comes to legal, it seems. i'm saying that just so you know that this kind of understanding seems to come to some of us only by immersion. we have to soak in it a long time before comprehension sets in.
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Let me see if I can make you view this another way.
I am in a similar situation. My ex has one child from a previous relationship. He pays the mom $500 per month. The mom buys cigarettes and watches tv all day. I always felt so bad for his poor little girl. Urged him to get custody, we could take better care of her, he never got off his butt to sue her, yada, yada, yada....
Whoops I get pregnant. Whoops, he cheats on me. We break up. I'm due in February. I can't do one gosh darn thing about the situation with his ex. She will continue to get $6000 per year from him. That lowers his income by $6000 per year. That means I can sue for child support, but not because he makes $40K per year, but subtract $6K - he really makes $34K. That was how it was when I met him, that's how it is since I'm making a baby with him, that's it. End of story. First child comes first - our child comes second. I will get a chunk of the $34K - not the original $40K.
But, I can afford this child, boyfriend or not. You need to realize, you may not be super comfy like you have been, but thats why IT WAS A MISTAKE!!! So chock it all up to learning your lesson, adn make the best life for your child. If you get any support, be thankful. But don't be dependent on some man who may or may not come through. Get an extra job, ask for help from your family, be the best responsible mom you can be - but DON"T BE A VICTIM. Don't be pathetic. Be a role model for your kids. Do the right thing.
and good luck to you!
I am in a similar situation. My ex has one child from a previous relationship. He pays the mom $500 per month. The mom buys cigarettes and watches tv all day. I always felt so bad for his poor little girl. Urged him to get custody, we could take better care of her, he never got off his butt to sue her, yada, yada, yada....
Whoops I get pregnant. Whoops, he cheats on me. We break up. I'm due in February. I can't do one gosh darn thing about the situation with his ex. She will continue to get $6000 per year from him. That lowers his income by $6000 per year. That means I can sue for child support, but not because he makes $40K per year, but subtract $6K - he really makes $34K. That was how it was when I met him, that's how it is since I'm making a baby with him, that's it. End of story. First child comes first - our child comes second. I will get a chunk of the $34K - not the original $40K.
But, I can afford this child, boyfriend or not. You need to realize, you may not be super comfy like you have been, but thats why IT WAS A MISTAKE!!! So chock it all up to learning your lesson, adn make the best life for your child. If you get any support, be thankful. But don't be dependent on some man who may or may not come through. Get an extra job, ask for help from your family, be the best responsible mom you can be - but DON"T BE A VICTIM. Don't be pathetic. Be a role model for your kids. Do the right thing.
and good luck to you!
Thank you Humusluvr...probably the best advice all day, and its right in front of me, just maybe needed to see it in black and white. I am trying to be a good mother for her...the best I can and always have been. A fresh break up/pregnant emotions/holidays....it all has a breaking point. We don't need him, we will survive.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Now print that, put it in your wallet, and look at it every day. I seriously have one of those in my purse, and it makes me remember that through my crazy raging hormones, the stress of the holidays and money, and being just a little lonely - I WILL SURVIVE! You be a great mom! You show those kids what it means to do things the right way!
And be a lurker on these boards and know that there are lots of posters here who have a much worse situation than you! It gives me some daily enjoyment, and also a dose of reality.... it could always be worse, or different and worse. I lurk every day!
and after I have my baby, and my hormones settle down a bit, then I will take action. But I'm making a game plan.... take pride in your plan
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