Oregon CP not managing childrens' healthcare needs

[WillingToFight]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

I'm back...

About a year ago, me ex filed for custody and child support of our two teenage children. I contested his petition but long story short, ended up stipulating to an agreement that granted ex sole custody (NOT what I wanted or what I felt was in the best interest of the children but litigation was going nowhere.) I've been reminded several times here that by stipulating to this arrangement, I legally deemed dad to be fit.

As I continue to learn the process and workings of family court, I really regret 'stipulating' to this agreement because it makes it virtually impossible for me to have any input in my childrens' upbringing now. I know that I'll never get my children back, but that doesn't mean I need to give up on them.

What REALLY bothers me is the fact that ex is not taking care of the kids' medical or dental needs unless I 'harass' him with reminders. Right now, the kids are behind on their vaccinations and ex has ignored my notifications from the doctor's office. He takes the position that I'm 'meddling' if I contact doctors or teachers. I am the parent on notice since I also carry and pay for the kids on my healthcare coverage.

Is there anything I can do within the court system to bring attention to the fact that Dad isn't staying on top of the kids' healthcare needs? I don't want to file a motion for every single "complaint" I have but it's hard for me to stand by and watch routine healthcare not being carried out; especially when ex doesn't have to pay to bring the kids in.

Thanks for any advice/ideas...

 

[Proserpina]

Out of interest which vaccinations are your teens behind in?

 

[WillingToFight]

Out of interest which vaccinations are your teens behind in?

Boosters for: HepatitisB, Diphtheria, TDap and Chickenpox.

The school is notified when a child is past due. If that happens, the child is sent home from school until they can show that the vaccines are current.

I received notices from the doctors (since I previously handled the kids' healthcare) and forwarded to ex.

Earlier this year, I had to ask my attorney to press for the final Gardasil vaccine for our daughter that my ex was in total agreement with at the start; but I made and took DD to the first two appointments (we still had joint legal and physical custody at that time). I'd confirmed with DD's doctor that the third and final sequence to the vaccine had not been completed and that if it was missed, the vaccine may have to start over. Ex had to get the message from his attorney, as well as the children's attorney before he'd take action. Maddening...

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Ok I would have to say that he has done the vaccines. I dont know about the school system where they go but I know in my kids school system if they dont have the vacinnes or a letter stipulating religious reasons they are not allowed back in school until they have either of those. Also the Gardasil vaccine is totally optional and he doesn't have to give her that vacinne if he wishes not to. It is not required by school.

 

[WillingToFight]

Ok I would have to say that he has done the vaccines. I dont know about the school system where they go but I know in my kids school system if they dont have the vacinnes or a letter stipulating religious reasons they are not allowed back in school until they have either of those. Also the Gardasil vaccine is totally optional and he doesn't have to give her that vacinne if he wishes not to. It is not required by school.

Thanks for your response, HBG. Actually - ex has NOT done the vaccines (I've called the doctors' offices to check and have asked the kids if they've been to the doc lately). I realize the Gardasil is optional, but I was referencing it as an example of how far I've had to push to get ex to move on things. It was important for our DD to complete the series, or else the first two vaccines would've been a waste. Ex had already agreed to the Gardasil earlier but didn't follow through on the final shot once he had physical custody of the kids.

Oregon has similar laws within the schools as what you've noted. The kids are DUE by the end of September (sorry... should have been more clear on that; as they're not past due YET). I've let ex know that the school will send the kids home if they are past due; the state will notify them right away. It happened to our DS in the 3rd grade, due to a glitch in our pediatrician's records. I had to pick DS up from school, take him to the clinic, get the shot, get the state record card signed, then take it in to the school before DS could be allowed back to attend. He missed a day and a half then.

Ex thinks I need to consult with him before contacting medical or school officials (he groused to the judge last month about the fact that I don't consult with him before making appointments with teachers or asking for medical info.) It's my understanding that I'm entitled to consult with them unless our order specifies something different.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks for your response, HBG. Actually - ex has NOT done the vaccines (I've called the doctors' offices to check and have asked the kids if they've been to the doc lately). I realize the Gardasil is optional, but I was referencing it as an example of how far I've had to push to get ex to move on things. It was important for our DD to complete the series, or else the first two vaccines would've been a waste. Ex had already agreed to the Gardasil earlier but didn't follow through on the final shot once he had physical custody of the kids.

Oregon has similar laws within the schools as what you've noted. The kids are DUE by the end of September (sorry... should have been more clear on that; as they're not past due YET). I've let ex know that the school will send the kids home if they are past due; the state will notify them right away. It happened to our DS in the 3rd grade, due to a glitch in our pediatrician's records. I had to pick DS up from school, take him to the clinic, get the shot, get the state record card signed, then take it in to the school before DS could be allowed back to attend. He missed a day and a half then.

Ex thinks I need to consult with him before contacting medical or school officials (he groused to the judge last month about the fact that I don't consult with him before making appointments with teachers or asking for medical info.) It's my understanding that I'm entitled to consult with them unless our order specifies something different.

Since he has sole custody of the children you are not allowed to make any educational or medical decisions, but you are fully within your rights to consult with the doctors or the children's teachers/school regarding the children's medical or school records.

 

[WillingToFight]

Since he has sole custody of the children you are not allowed to make any educational or medical decisions, but you are fully within your rights to consult with the doctors or the children's teachers/school regarding the children's medical or school records.

Thanks, LdiJ. This is what I've tried explaining (in email) to my ex, but he doesn't seem to get it. I'm not trying to make the appointments myself; just trying to see to it that HE takes care of it.

I'm the one who goes to the Back-to-School night and meets all the teachers, emails them, etc. I don't understand why he gets in a snit about it... especially when he's not going himself. We don't even have to sit together or meet the teachers at the same time. Any feedback I receive from teachers, I forward to him. I'm not there to supervise that our kids finish their school work, but he is and the information I send is for the benefit of the kids. He just seems to object to me having any involvement whatsoever.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks, LdiJ. This is what I've tried explaining (in email) to my ex, but he doesn't seem to get it. I'm not trying to make the appointments myself; just trying to see to it that HE takes care of it.

I'm the one who goes to the Back-to-School night and meets all the teachers, emails them, etc. I don't understand why he gets in a snit about it... especially when he's not going himself. We don't even have to sit together or meet the teachers at the same time. Any feedback I receive from teachers, I forward to him. I'm not there to supervise that our kids finish their school work, but he is and the information I send is for the benefit of the kids. He just seems to object to me having any involvement whatsoever.

Well, he is just going to have to get over that, because there is not a darn thing that he can do about it.