Modifying Custody Agreement - School Schedule

[stealth2]

But what a lawyer says and what it's morally fair could be two different things.

And what the LAW says is often something else. But the lawyer is likely closer to what the reality is.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

InfantCustody mentioned what I was going to bring up.

Change it to Friday after school till Monday drop off at school - every other weekend.

The week that mom doesn't get kiddo, have mom have the overnight midweek.

Same number of nights, but different schedule.

 

[DownTime]

All right, well that's that then. Thank you for answering.

 

[stealth2]

InfantCustody mentioned what I was going to bring up.

Change it to Friday after school till Monday drop off at school - every other weekend.

Or.... Thursday after school to Sunday evening.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

...Misses scheduled school meetings - why? Only attended one game from sports in the past two years - why? Consistently brings him to school in dirty clothes and tired - why? ...

Gotta ask. Just hafta.

What scary important "school meetings" can mom have missed if Junior is only 5 and not even in Kindergarten yet?

 

[ddmz]

Gotta ask. Just hafta.

What scary important "school meetings" can mom have missed if Junior is only 5 and not even in Kindergarten yet?

He's been in preschool for the past year and a half. They have 2-3 meetings per year.

I never said scary important. But it is important. When it's your own child and you care about their progress as they grow up, it doesn't matter what age they are. Each age has a level in which they should be performing, knowing what level they are on and what needs to be focused on is obviously valuable.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Have to ask: did you SHARE the information with mom about the meeting?

 

[ddmz]

Have to ask: did you SHARE the information with mom about the meeting?

As a matter of fact yes I did and I have the emails to prove it. Look, I go above and beyond when it comes to keeping her involved. Keeping her informed and on top of things due to her own lack of responsibility, is a job in itself.

 

[TxPE2011]

InfantCustody mentioned what I was going to bring up.

Change it to Friday after school till Monday drop off at school - every other weekend.

The week that mom doesn't get kiddo, have mom have the overnight midweek.

Same number of nights, but different schedule.

This is actually what I just read on a website about Maryland visitation 'schedule'.
Every other weekend and one night a week on the week NCP does not have a weekend. That could be 6-8 days a month depending on the # of weekends in a month.

OP- I think you will find that in kindergarten, homework does not consist of calculus and history research. You're looking at 10 minutes of reading time and 'maybe' a 10 word spelling list 'MAYBE'.

I had the same concerns regarding school nights when my daughter started kindergarten. She needs her sleep, she needs a good schedule with routine and I was also of the opinion that extra curriculars were important. NOPE - they are not. Not at 5 and not when it infringes on the other parents time. You cannot tell her what sports she will take your son to on HER parenting time.

I got a visitation schedule that would make you flip and go through a roof. Thursday when school releases to Monday when school resumes 1st 3rd and 5th weekends and thursday when school releases to Friday when school resumes 2nd and 4th weeks. During the summer, 1st 3rd and 5th weekends fri to sun and 6 consecutive weeks.

That schedule equals out to about 12-14 days with NCP a month and 17-18 days with CP. That isn't quite 50/50 but it's very VERY close.

AND it works. It keeps both Parents active with the child during the school year and gives the child the chance to have an ongoing, continuous relationship with both parents instead of one parent being the 'weekend' parent and having no responsibility during the week. I think it's fair to say that both parents are given a chance to be the 'school' parent instead of just one parent doing it all.

If you complain that she has never paid a dime towards her child, then file for support so that she is forced to pay a dime towards her child. When she does have him, doesn't he have to eat and have heat/air, lights and any other necessities that might be needed? Isn't that at least a dime or two?

As far as being late, not bathing him, sending him tired or in clothes that are dirty, these are nitpicky things and MY lawyer would tell you to get over it.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

And how do you know that Mom hasn't been getting the scoop on the little tyke's progress on the days that she drops him off at "school"?

 

[TxPE2011]

He's been in preschool for the past year and a half. They have 2-3 meetings per year.

I never said scary important. But it is important. When it's your own child and you care about their progress as they grow up, it doesn't matter what age they are. Each age has a level in which they should be performing, knowing what level they are on and what needs to be focused on is obviously valuable.

I guess I am a deadbeat. My husband picks up our 4 yr old from preschool every day because I pick up my daughter in a different direction and I rarely get updates from the teacher, I get them from my husband. And updates at 4 have been - 'he pooped in the potty all by himself!' and 'he was a great first time listener today!' or ' he was not sharing today' or ' he was really tired today'
I'm guessing next year in kindergarten we are going to be going over his SAT scores.

PS -- my son attends a private preschool that feeds into the private Christian school. It's not just daycare, it's an accredited private preschool with private kindergarten. Very expensive I might add...

 

[ddmz]

This is actually what I just read on a website about Maryland visitation 'schedule'.
Every other weekend and one night a week on the week NCP does not have a weekend. That could be 6-8 days a month depending on the # of weekends in a month.

OP- I think you will find that in kindergarten, homework does not consist of calculus and history research. You're looking at 10 minutes of reading time and 'maybe' a 10 word spelling list 'MAYBE'.

I had the same concerns regarding school nights when my daughter started kindergarten. She needs her sleep, she needs a good schedule with routine and I was also of the opinion that extra curriculars were important. NOPE - they are not. Not at 5 and not when it infringes on the other parents time. You cannot tell her what sports she will take your son to on HER parenting time.

I got a visitation schedule that would make you flip and go through a roof. Thursday when school releases to Monday when school resumes 1st 3rd and 5th weekends and thursday when school releases to Friday when school resumes 2nd and 4th weeks. During the summer, 1st 3rd and 5th weekends fri to sun and 6 consecutive weeks.

That schedule equals out to about 12-14 days with NCP a month and 17-18 days with CP. That isn't quite 50/50 but it's very VERY close.

AND it works. It keeps both Parents active with the child during the school year and gives the child the chance to have an ongoing, continuous relationship with both parents instead of one parent being the 'weekend' parent and having no responsibility during the week. I think it's fair to say that both parents are given a chance to be the 'school' parent instead of just one parent doing it all.

If you complain that she has never paid a dime towards her child, then file for support so that she is forced to pay a dime towards her child. When she does have him, doesn't he have to eat and have heat/air, lights and any other necessities that might be needed? Isn't that at least a dime or two?

As far as being late, not bathing him, sending him tired or in clothes that are dirty, these are nitpicky things and MY lawyer would tell you to get over it.

Well, just an example of how everyone's situation is different. That schedule would never work for us, for either of us or our son.

Again, sports are important no matter what the age. Let's wake up America, put down the hoagies and recognize that developing habits related to physical fitness is important. Health, is important. We can create a grading scale as to the level of importance for each age range, but the fact of the matter is it's still important, no matter how minute of an importance it is, if it's even SLIGHTLY important, then it should be exercised.

As far as paying a dime, your right, I guess she does pay the bare minimum. I feel like I've entered loserville.

 

[ddmz]

And how do you know that Mom hasn't been getting the scoop on the little tyke's progress on the days that she drops him off at "school"?

Because a 30 minute meeting is not just the 'scoop', it's a structured meeting with real discussions and action items.

Also, when a teacher schedules a meeting and a parent accepts it, then the parent should attend.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

We are here giving you LEGAL advice ... for free ...

Now, if you are unhappy with the advice, you are more than free to pay your ATTORNEY for the same advice.

You've been given several alternatives to leave the number of days with mom consistent with what she currently has.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Because a 30 minute meeting is not just the 'scoop', it's a structured meeting with real discussions and action items.

Also, when a teacher schedules a meeting and a parent accepts it, then the parent should attend.

You give her the information - why attend?