step parent adoption-Missouri

[NLH1128]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

My husband would like to adopt my daughter. My daughter is 6 and her biological father left when I was 6 months pregnant. He is not on the birth certificate, she has my maiden last name, and we do not receive child support from him (no established paternity except my word). We used an online adoption paper preparation service and want to be sure our case will stand in court. I am unsure of his current address. We have attempted to contact the biological father through certified mail using the postal directory and the letter was returned due to him no longer living there. We sent a certified letter to his mother's home and it was also returned due to not being signed for after 15 days. We also contacted him through social media and he never replied. Will this suffice as enough evidence for the diligent search, or should we try more to support our case?

 

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

My husband would like to adopt my daughter. My daughter is 6 and her biological father left when I was 6 months pregnant. He is not on the birth certificate, she has my maiden last name, and we do not receive child support from him (no established paternity except my word). We used an online adoption paper preparation service and want to be sure our case will stand in court. I am unsure of his current address. We have attempted to contact the biological father through certified mail using the postal directory and the letter was returned due to him no longer living there. We sent a certified letter to his mother's home and it was also returned due to not being signed for after 15 days. We also contacted him through social media and he never replied. Will this suffice as enough evidence for the diligent search, or should we try more to support our case?

I would suggest hiring an attorney to make sure that everything is done properly.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

My husband would like to adopt my daughter. My daughter is 6 and her biological father left when I was 6 months pregnant. He is not on the birth certificate, she has my maiden last name, and we do not receive child support from him (no established paternity except my word). We used an online adoption paper preparation service and want to be sure our case will stand in court. I am unsure of his current address. We have attempted to contact the biological father through certified mail using the postal directory and the letter was returned due to him no longer living there. We sent a certified letter to his mother's home and it was also returned due to not being signed for after 15 days. We also contacted him through social media and he never replied. Will this suffice as enough evidence for the diligent search, or should we try more to support our case?

You should try by regular mail to his mother's home. And address it to him in her care and mark it legal documents on the envelope. Have the court send it by regular mail.
After that, you should be able to request to file notice by posting.

 

[NLH1128]

You should try by regular mail to his mother's home. And address it to him in her care and mark it legal documents on the envelope. Have the court send it by regular mail.
After that, you should be able to request to file notice by posting.

Thank you for the advice. My only concern with regular mail is that there is no way to prove it was sent. Can you elaborate on what you mean by request to file notice by posting?

Thanks again!

 

[justalayman]

Notice by posting or notice by publication



It is where you post or publish a notice as the specific court involved specifies in the court ruled. Usually it is a notice published in the legal section of the newspaper local to where the intended target is believed to be.


The intent of using regular mail is you are attempting to actuslly contact somebody. Since the court will have mailed it that is the proof of mailing. If there is no response it will be assumed the letter was recieved but ignored. That is good enough to cause a court to allow things to move forward.

 

[NLH1128]

Notice by posting or notice by publication



It is where you post or publish a notice as the specific court involved specifies in the court ruled. Usually it is a notice published in the legal section of the newspaper local to where the intended target is believed to be.


The intent of using regular mail is you are attempting to actuslly contact somebody. Since the court will have mailed it that is the proof of mailing. If there is no response it will be assumed the letter was recieved but ignored. That is good enough to cause a court to allow things to move forward.

Thanks so much. That's what I assumed it meant, but wanted to be sure. I was unaware the court would mail something for you. Also great information to know!

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you for the advice. My only concern with regular mail is that there is no way to prove it was sent. Can you elaborate on what you mean by request to file notice by posting?

Thanks again!

Go to the clerk of courts and file a request to serve by regular mail to dad c/o his mother's name and address.

It is not that hard. You really need counsel.

If that fails, the COURT has to approve you to serve dad by posting/publication.

 

[NLH1128]

Go to the clerk of courts and file a request to serve by regular mail to dad c/o his mother's name and address.

It is not that hard. You really need counsel.

If that fails, the COURT has to approve you to serve dad by posting/publication.

By "serve" do you mean a letter stating that my husband wants to adopt her and that I am requesting his consent? Or send the actual court form I have for him to sign?

Also- Since this is a case of abandonment, do you think his consent is completely necessary?

 

[Ohiogal]

By "serve" do you mean a letter stating that my husband wants to adopt her and that I am requesting his consent? Or send the actual court form I have for him to sign?

Also- Since this is a case of abandonment, do you think his consent is completely necessary?

This question tells me, YOU NEED LEGAL COUNSEL. YOU need to serve him a copy of the complaint for adoption as well as a summons and other forms required for an adoption to take place. Abandonment? Why didn't you ever establish paternity? How is he to know he is dad? He can't, necessarily, abandon a right that was never established as his to claim. So why didn't you file to establish paternity six years ago?

 

[Zigner]

By "serve" do you mean a letter stating that my husband wants to adopt her and that I am requesting his consent? Or send the actual court form I have for him to sign?

Also- Since this is a case of abandonment, do you think his consent is completely necessary?

You really need counsel.

 

[justalayman]

Nlh1128


An adoption is one of the very last actions you should consider not using an attorney. As you have been alerted to, your questions and actions to date show you really really need an attorney to guide you through this. A screw up now can cause some very serious problems later, like in a challenge from dad when he discovers he had a child and didn't get proper notice so as to be able to contest the adoption.

While researching the process is a very good idea, self help is not advised.

 

[NLH1128]

This question tells me, YOU NEED LEGAL COUNSEL. YOU need to serve him a copy of the complaint for adoption as well as a summons and other forms required for an adoption to take place. Abandonment? Why didn't you ever establish paternity? How is he to know he is dad? He can't, necessarily, abandon a right that was never established as his to claim. So why didn't you file to establish paternity six years ago?

I did not establish paternity because I was advised (by a lawyer) not to do so. This is because I did not want to take the chance of him being able to have custody if something were to happen to me. I went to my lawyer when I first had my daughter to be sure my will would be followed for my parents to be her guardian if something did happen to me. He stated that if I never established paternity and didn't file for child support, my parents would be given guardianship since the father would be "unknown". That was more important to me than having him give me child support. He is aware of her birth as I contacted him after she was born and the fact that him and I were in a relationship before and during my pregnancy. He made the choice to not be involved.

Thank you for the advice to seek legal counsel.

 

[Zigner]

I did not establish paternity because I was advised (by a lawyer) not to do so. This is because I did not want to take the chance of him being able to have custody if something were to happen to me. I went to my lawyer when I first had my daughter to be sure my will would be followed for my parents to be her guardian if something did happen to me. He stated that if I never established paternity and didn't file for child support, my parents would be given guardianship since the father would be "unknown". That was more important to me than having him give me child support. He is aware of her birth as I contacted him after she was born and the fact that him and I were in a relationship before and during my pregnancy. He made the choice to not be involved.

Thank you for the advice to seek legal counsel.

In other words, you went out of your way to deprive your child of the opportunity to know her father?

 

[NLH1128]

In other words, you went out of your way to deprive your child of the opportunity to know her father?

Not at all. I asked him to be involved and contacted him multiple times after her birth. He continuously let us down. I didn't want him being forced into being a parent and her getting poor care if something happened to me.

 

[justalayman]

In other words, you went out of your way to deprive your child of the opportunity to know her father?

And it appears she intends on continuing that.

Maybe it's a matter of perspective but when op says dad abandoned the child, i don't see it quite like that. Failing to establish paternity with the intent of depriving the father of any current or future rights; lovely.

I love the line: I didn't want him to have custody should something happen to me.


Gee, God forbid a father be allowed to be a father. I mean, what's the world coming to when a parent actuslly is allowed to be a parent.