Attorney taking too long, should I find a new one?

[Kmr83]

I realize I'm not posting too much background here, but I could use some advice. My husband and I hired an attorney on March 8th to handle our step parent adoption. Aside from a few emails asking us to bring in/pick up paperwork, they have not contacted us regarding our case. Finally, my husband called their office this past Monday, a little over 3 weeks in. The attorney informs us they are having trouble locating the bio father. I get it, that can be tricky, but still a little frustrating. Last night, my husband decided to take matters into his own hands and did a quick Google search. Within 20 minutes he had his home address, work address, car and vin, and a social media page. He sent the info to the attorney and let her know we'd call them in the morning to discuss the information found if possible. He calls this morning, and our attorney is on a conference call. Again, I get it, she's busy. But then she fails to return the call and email.

I've never had to hire an attorney before, so this is all new to me. Is this normal? Should we find a new attorney? They initially told us it would take 2-3 months to complete the entire step parent adoption process, and here we are a month in and they haven't even located him.

Thanks in advance!

 

[Proserpina]

I realize I'm not posting too much background here, but I could use some advice. My husband and I hired an attorney on March 8th to handle our step parent adoption. Aside from a few emails asking us to bring in/pick up paperwork, they have not contacted us regarding our case. Finally, my husband called their office this past Monday, a little over 3 weeks in. The attorney informs us they are having trouble locating the bio father. I get it, that can be tricky, but still a little frustrating. Last night, my husband decided to take matters into his own hands and did a quick Google search. Within 20 minutes he had his home address, work address, car and vin, and a social media page. He sent the info to the attorney and let her know we'd call them in the morning to discuss the information found if possible. He calls this morning, and our attorney is on a conference call. Again, I get it, she's busy. But then she fails to return the call and email.

I've never had to hire an attorney before, so this is all new to me. Is this normal? Should we find a new attorney? They initially told us it would take 2-3 months to complete the entire step parent adoption process, and here we are a month in and they haven't even located him.

Thanks in advance!

These things do take time - honestly, 3 weeks is not long at all and I doubt you're the only case the attorney is dealing with. With that said, did you check out other attorneys before you picked this one? Are you ready to ask if they'll take on a case someone else is already dealing with?

 

[Silverplum]

US law only. What's the name of your state?

 

[Silverplum]

By the way, it's a silly waste of time and money to have the attorney find Dad, if you have enough information to find him in 20 minutes yourself. Why didn't you give all of that info to the attorney at your first meeting?

 

[Kmr83]

These things do take time - honestly, 3 weeks is not long at all and I doubt you're the only case the attorney is dealing with. With that said, did you check out other attorneys before you picked this one? Are you ready to ask if they'll take on a case someone else is already dealing with?

Thanks for your response. Yes, we looked at a number of attorneys and had a consultation with one other. I was honestly on the fence about going with our current attorney, but my husband really liked them and we were both anxious to get things started. In retrospect, I realize this wasn't the best decision. I would be fine asking if they are willing to take an open case.

 

[Kmr83]

By the way, it's a silly waste of time and money to have the attorney find Dad, if you have enough information to find him in 20 minutes yourself. Why didn't you give all of that info to the attorney at your first meeting?

We are in Texas. Sorry about that.


We didn't have the address during the first meeting. Our attorney made it sound like it was no problem and they'd for sure find him for us. My husband looked him up last night and found his address etc.

 

[tranquility]

I agree with Proserpina that 3 weeks is not a lot of time. Certainly, some things need to be done quickly. A step parent adoption? Absent some specific need, I don't think many attorneys would stay up late to make sure it happens quickly. (Unless paid with timeline motivations.) I also agree with Silverplum, it seems to me you or your spouse would have been well served to try to find father with the internet before agreeing to pay an attorney or detective to search with little context other than a name. Understand that just because he is found, he is not "found". There is some time and money into the creation of a case the right person is notified if he does not admit and agree to the adoption.

That being said, it is unfortunate the attorney is not communicating appropriately with you. The first question is, how is he being paid? Was it a set retainer with costs added, or are you paying by the hour? If the former, be careful to not want unreasonable things. If the later, why an attorney would not want to bill you every time you call eludes me. An attorney who won't stay a bit late for compensable time must be going home to a super model who is a chef and who cooks steak and lobster every night and will put that...thing...on as he/she lights the cigar and rubs her/his feet.

If the former, you need to plan your communications and not just write/call/text/show up when you feel anxious. I do taxes. While the cost of a return is based on time, we tend to focus on the time to prepare the return and allow a lot of slippage for other communications through the year and in the season. Yet, having a bazillion clients through the years, I know when one is being reasonable with a call and when they are being a pain. Once they are a pain, their data goes to the marination table. That's the table where things sit until I need to deal with them. I've never missed a deadline, but I'm sure I have caused a client or two a bit of stress.

To be honest, do you think your file belongs on the marination table?

 

[Kmr83]

I agree with Proserpina that 3 weeks is not a lot of time. Certainly, some things need to be done quickly. A step parent adoption? Absent some specific need, I don't think many attorneys would stay up late to make sure it happens quickly. (Unless paid with timeline motivations.) I also agree with Silverplum, it seems to me you or your spouse would have been well served to try to find father with the internet before agreeing to pay an attorney or detective to search with little context other than a name. Understand that just because he is found, he is not "found". There is some time and money into the creation of a case the right person is notified if he does not admit and agree to the adoption.

That being said, it is unfortunate the attorney is not communicating appropriately with you. The first question is, how is he being paid? Was it a set retainer with costs added, or are you paying by the hour? If the former, be careful to not want unreasonable things. If the later, why an attorney would not want to bill you every time you call eludes me. An attorney who won't stay a bit late for compensable time must be going home to a super model who is a chef and who cooks steak and lobster every night and will put that...thing...on as he/she lights the cigar and rubs her/his feet.

If the former, you need to plan your communications and not just write/call/text/show up when you feel anxious. I do taxes. While the cost of a return is based on time, we tend to focus on the time to prepare the return and allow a lot of slippage for other communications through the year and in the season. Yet, having a bazillion clients through the years, I know when one is being reasonable with a call and when they are being a pain. Once they are a pain, their data goes to the marination table. That's the table where things sit until I need to deal with them. I've never missed a deadline, but I'm sure I have caused a client or two a bit of stress.

To be honest, do you think your file belongs on the marination table?

I agree and understand that our case isn't their top priority. I will say we were both hoping it would move along in the amount of time they told us, since we're planning on moving to a different city 3 hours away this summer. From what I gathered through online research and talking with our attorney, I was under the assumption that they were going to locate him for us. I wouldn't have had an issue with doing the work myself, we were just led to believe that was something they would do for us. I suppose we were wrong about that.

We paid a retainer, and each attorney in the firm has an hourly rate. We did ask about communication, and they said they would just contact us through email when necessary. I just didn't realize it was normal for a month to go by without a status update.

Like I mentioned in my op, my husband called Monday to get an update. We found info and emailed it to them last night. We tried to call this morning just to go over the details of what was found, but no response. I didn't think we were being too overly eager, given that we've waited several weeks to contact them. But I suppose we are.

I appreciate everyone's insight.

 

[Silverplum]

I agree and understand that our case isn't their top priority. I will say we were both hoping it would move along in the amount of time they told us, since we're planning on moving to a different city 3 hours away this summer. From what I gathered through online research and talking with our attorney, I was under the assumption that they were going to locate him for us. I wouldn't have had an issue with doing the work myself, we were just led to believe that was something they would do for us. I suppose we were wrong about that.

We paid a retainer, and each attorney in the firm has an hourly rate. We did ask about communication, and they said they would just contact us through email when necessary. I just didn't realize it was normal for a month to go by without a status update.

Like I mentioned in my op, my husband called Monday to get an update. We found info and emailed it to them last night. We tried to call this morning just to go over the details of what was found, but no response. I didn't think we were being too overly eager, given that we've waited several weeks to contact them. But I suppose we are.

I appreciate everyone's insight.

What if the attorney was in court today? Or in client meetings? Or teaching a class? Attending a mandatory class or workshop?

You can't expect the kind of "service" as at an auto shop.

 

[Kmr83]

What if the attorney was in court today? Or in client meetings? Or teaching a class? Attending a mandatory class or workshop?

You can't expect the kind of "service" as at an auto shop.

I understand that. What I don't understand is why we weren't told they were unable to find him after a month, when we were able to find him in 20 minutes.

 

[tranquility]

I agree and understand that our case isn't their top priority. I will say we were both hoping it would move along in the amount of time they told us, since we're planning on moving to a different city 3 hours away this summer. From what I gathered through online research and talking with our attorney, I was under the assumption that they were going to locate him for us. I wouldn't have had an issue with doing the work myself, we were just led to believe that was something they would do for us. I suppose we were wrong about that.

We paid a retainer, and each attorney in the firm has an hourly rate. We did ask about communication, and they said they would just contact us through email when necessary. I just didn't realize it was normal for a month to go by without a status update.

Like I mentioned in my op, my husband called Monday to get an update. We found info and emailed it to them last night. We tried to call this morning just to go over the details of what was found, but no response. I didn't think we were being too overly eager, given that we've waited several weeks to contact them. But I suppose we are.

I appreciate everyone's insight.

I had only one ?. Answer it and we might move on.

 

[Kmr83]

I had only one ?. Answer it and we might move on.

I began my reply by saying that I agree and understand that our case isn't their top priority. Does that not count as an answer?

 

[tranquility]

I began my reply by saying that I agree and understand that our case isn't their top priority. Does that not count as an answer?

No. My question gets to if you or your spouse has been a pain and deserves a place on the marination table.

 

[Kmr83]

No. My question gets to if you or your spouse has been a pain and deserves a place on the marination table.

I've also said we've called once and spoke briefly and politely to the attorney, and emailed once. There was also the phone call from this morning that hasn't been returned. All after 3-4 weeks. Is that considered being a pain?

ETA- The email contained case information, so that's why we sent it.

 

[tranquility]

I've also said we've called once and spoke briefly and politely to the attorney, and emailed once. There was also the phone call from this morning that hasn't been returned. All after 3-4 weeks. Is that considered being a pain?

ETA- The email contained case information, so that's why we sent it.

Since you still think you need more explanation without answering the question specifically asked, I suggest you are on the marination table. Find another attorney and behave better.