Emergency Hearing

[CJane]

Well I would call it in favor of Dad you get the child enrolled in the better school ...and if necessary you have a Uber or equivalent driver cover the runs you cannot cover. ...I'm actually surprised at how reasonable it is to use such services .

And if my guess is right about the quality of the other options, you need to find a way to make the better school option happen. And you seem to be quite certain that Moms choices are not in best interest of child...so suck it up and do what is best for child .

Uber isn't an option for the under 18 crowd. Not a consistent and safe/legal one, anyway.

If Dad wants Jr enrolled in his district, and Dad has been ordered to provide transportation, that is EXACTLY what Dad needs to do. Not try to get Mom to give up primary custody, not try to stuff the kid in a taxi or other service, but PROVIDE TRANSPORTATION.

His attorney should have made him aware of this risk when doing a cost/benefit analysis. Dad didn't want child homeschooled, and already knew his school choices from Mom's house sucked. Which leaves the judge with "Fine. He can attend school in your district, but I'm not going to punish Mom for that choice by making her provide transportation OR lose custody. You want kiddo in that school, you make it work."

 

[bigql83]

Uber isn't an option for the under 18 crowd. Not a consistent and safe/legal one, anyway.

If Dad wants Jr enrolled in his district, and Dad has been ordered to provide transportation, that is EXACTLY what Dad needs to do. Not try to get Mom to give up primary custody, not try to stuff the kid in a taxi or other service, but PROVIDE TRANSPORTATION.

His attorney should have made him aware of this risk when doing a cost/benefit analysis. Dad didn't want child homeschooled, and already knew his school choices from Mom's house sucked. Which leaves the judge with "Fine. He can attend school in your district, but I'm not going to punish Mom for that choice by making her provide transportation OR lose custody. You want kiddo in that school, you make it work."

Honesty when we we went to court my lawyer thought that the judge would only order his mom to enroll my son in public school in her district. We never discussed the possibility of me having the option to enroll him in a school in my district. The judge brought that option up on her own.

Online homeschooling is not an option because mom doesn't have a computer or access to the internet. I was awarded final say because mother was proved to be very neglient in what was best for our son.

 

[bigql83]

It is impossible to enforce an order wherein one parent has a majority of the time/primary custody and the OTHER parent has "final say". It is also, quite often, considered contrary to public policy to award joint legal custody while giving one parent final say.

AND, if you really had "final say", why on earth would the judge order you and Mom to work out where the child would go to school? If you have "final say", you can just say "Child will attend X school." And that would be the end of that.

Honestly, I don't think you understand what happened in court. And if this is REALLY what the judge ordered, it is impossible to enforce/abide by. I am speaking as someone whose ex had "final say" in all matters, as you believe you do, but *I* had primary physical custody (60% time). It was modified by the judge at the first opportunity, because it was unworkable. In fact, the judge said "Who signed off on this?!" (it was him).

I also sincerely doubt Mom is going to give up primary custody voluntarily. Why would she risk that, so that you could avoid driving the child to school when you just took her to court in an attempt to get exactly that ordered?

If Mom enrolled the child in a K12 online school, he would be enrolled in a "public school", AND be homeschooled.

Finally, the judge ordered that Mom retain primary custody. I don't anticipate said judge being entirely pleased if you present an order for signature that makes YOU primary custodian. The judge, after all, seems to think the opposite is in the child's best interests. If you want the child enrolled in your district, which is what you apparently wanted, then you're going to have to figure out transportation.

The judge didn't tell me and mom to work it out, she told us to have a discussion but the father has final say, my lawyer made it clear to me what was ordered. I want my son to go to the better school, but thats not happening unless I make a career change, It's hard for me to arrange transportation for him now the two days a week I have to take him from my home to school near his mother.

She doesn't have to allow him to stay with me more so that he can go the better school, but if she doesn't my only option is to enroll him in school near his mother. And that will most likely happen and I'm prepared to deal with that, but hey a failing public school was better than what she called homeschooling.

I didnt ask the judge to change custody, the lawyer asked for joint custody, with her having primary custody, he made it clear to the judge that the mother would retain primary custody and that this hearing was about getting him enrolled in public school. The way the hearing went, I think the judge would have awarded me primary custody if we asked but I'll never know

 

[stealth2]

Exactly. So much better than I could have written. Yes, OP - you got what you asked for. You "won". Now you must deal with the attached strings. And no, that doesn't mean Mom must give up her time.

Oh. Wait. WHO was the one playing a control game?

Uber isn't an option for the under 18 crowd. Not a consistent and safe/legal one, anyway.

If Dad wants Jr enrolled in his district, and Dad has been ordered to provide transportation, that is EXACTLY what Dad needs to do. Not try to get Mom to give up primary custody, not try to stuff the kid in a taxi or other service, but PROVIDE TRANSPORTATION.

His attorney should have made him aware of this risk when doing a cost/benefit analysis. Dad didn't want child homeschooled, and already knew his school choices from Mom's house sucked. Which leaves the judge with "Fine. He can attend school in your district, but I'm not going to punish Mom for that choice by making her provide transportation OR lose custody. You want kiddo in that school, you make it work."

 

[stealth2]

The judge didn't tell me and mom to work it out, she told us to have a discussion but the father has final say, my lawyer made it clear to me what was ordered. I want my son to go to the better school, but thats not happening unless I make a career change, It's hard for me to arrange transportation for him now the two days a week I have to take him from my home to school near his mother.

She doesn't have to allow him to stay with me more so that he can go the better school, but if she doesn't my only option is to enroll him in school near his mother. And that will most likely happen and I'm prepared to deal with that, but hey a failing public school was better than what she called homeschooling.

I didnt ask the judge to change custody, the lawyer asked for joint custody, with her having primary custody, he made it clear to the judge that the mother would retain primary custody and that this hearing was about getting him enrolled in public school. The way the hearing went, I think the judge would have awarded me primary custody if we asked but I'll never know

You really don't get it, do you?

I really to feel for your kid. Both of you pretty much stink at the Parent Game.

 

[bigql83]

You really don't get it, do you?

I really to feel for your kid. Both of you pretty much stink at the Parent Game.

I stink at parenting because I took my child's mother to court so that he can be enrolled in public school instead of being at hime doing nothing. Please, I'm starting to wonder about some of the commentors on this site. You people post negative replies to almost every thread in this section. I only posted my results in this thread so that the next person in my situation might be able to see a possible outcome instead of all the hopeless negative advice I see being handed out.

Do I want my kid in the better school, absolutely, but it's not happening unless mother agrees to give up the weekdays, and it wasn't just her giving up time, I agreed with her to give up most of my weekends, breaks, holidays with him as well.

 

[not2cleverRed]

The judge didn't tell me and mom to work it out, she told us to have a discussion but the father has final say, my lawyer made it clear to me what was ordered. I want my son to go to the better school, but thats not happening unless I make a career change, It's hard for me to arrange transportation for him now the two days a week I have to take him from my home to school near his mother.

She doesn't have to allow him to stay with me more so that he can go the better school, but if she doesn't my only option is to enroll him in school near his mother. And that will most likely happen and I'm prepared to deal with that, but hey a failing public school was better than what she called homeschooling.

I didnt ask the judge to change custody, the lawyer asked for joint custody, with her having primary custody, he made it clear to the judge that the mother would retain primary custody and that this hearing was about getting him enrolled in public school. The way the hearing went, I think the judge would have awarded me primary custody if we asked but I'll never know

You don't seem to be interested in finding solutions that involve any form of compromise.

You are unable to find a way for your son to attend school in your district. You really want us to believe that there is no before school, after school care in your district, and additionally not a single person who could be employed to take care of the kid until you or your wife could transport him home? I'll buy that you can't arrange intra-district bussing, as not all districts offer that, and I know in my district the limit is 15 miles.

You don't want him home schooled, and say that he can't use an online school because his mom doesn't have an internet connection. Doesn't sound like you've considered *paying* for an internet connection for the academic use of your son an home. Yes, it would be available for other household members, but who cares? The goal is to improve your sons education.

Charter schools, private schools haven't been mentioned as explored options either.

 

[Just Blue]

I stink at parenting because I took my child's mother to court so that he can be enrolled in public school instead of being at hime doing nothing. Please, I'm starting to wonder about some of the commentors on this site. You people post negative replies to almost every thread in this section. I only posted my results in this thread so that the next person in my situation might be able to see a possible outcome instead of all the hopeless negative advice I see being handed out.

Do I want my kid in the better school, absolutely, but it's not happening unless mother agrees to give up the weekdays, and it wasn't just her giving up time, I agreed with her to give up most of my weekends, breaks, holidays with him as well.

20 years from now when your son is asking a customer if they wish to "super size" their order....He will think fondly back to when you were so concerned with his education that you placed him in a known failing school.

 

[bigql83]

I've thought about all of that, but he can't be home schooled in her home, its a bad environment.

I've talked with my wife and my parents about the option of picking him up from mom's house for school, he leaves 30 miles away, in the middle of the day it's a 35 minute trip, but in the morning it's normally 45 minutes to an hour each way.

I can only take him to school when I'm off, which can fall any day of the week, my wife goes to work at 9am close to where his mother lives. She's against that idea, that means she'll travel 45 minutes downtown, another 45 minutes to his school, then 45 minutes back downtown.

She's not going to do it and I don't blame her, like I stated my goal was to get him in public school, I never thought that we would have the choice of him going to school in my district.

 

[Just Blue]

I've thought about all of that, but he can't be home schooled in her home, its a bad environment.

I've talked with my wife and my parents about the option of picking him up from mom's house for school, he leaves 30 miles away, in the middle of the day it's a 35 minute trip, but in the morning it's normally 45 minutes to an hour each way.

I can only take him to school when I'm off, which can fall any day of the week, my wife goes to work at 9am close to where his mother lives. She's against that idea, that means she'll travel 45 minutes downtown, another 45 minutes to his school, then 45 minutes back downtown.

She's not going to do it and I don't blame her, like I stated my goal was to get him in public school, I never thought that we would have the choice of him going to school in my district.

Then hire someone to do it. WTH...Doesn't your child's education mean anything to you? Failing school=better than mom's home=FAILING.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I've thought about all of that, but he can't be home schooled in her home, its a bad environment.

I've talked with my wife and my parents about the option of picking him up from mom's house for school, he leaves 30 miles away, in the middle of the day it's a 35 minute trip, but in the morning it's normally 45 minutes to an hour each way.

I can only take him to school when I'm off, which can fall any day of the week, my wife goes to work at 9am close to where his mother lives. She's against that idea, that means she'll travel 45 minutes downtown, another 45 minutes to his school, then 45 minutes back downtown.

She's not going to do it and I don't blame her, like I stated my goal was to get him in public school, I never thought that we would have the choice of him going to school in my district.

Lovely wife you have. Really supportive.

Yeah, so basically, there's an agenda you have going on here... And it isn't your son.

 

[bigql83]

Lovely wife you have. Really supportive.

Yeah, so basically, there's an agenda you have going on here... And it isn't your son.

Thanks for your opinion.

 

[bigql83]

20 years from now when your son is asking a customer if they wish to "super size" their order....He will think fondly back to when you were so concerned with his education that you placed him in a known failing school.

He's attended a failing school the last 4 years, and guess what, he's doing great. I don't think you understand what really makes a failing school.

 

[Just Blue]

He's attended a failing school the last 4 years, and guess what, he's doing great. I don't think you understand what really makes a failing school.

smh. No I guess I really don't

Your son is "doing great' at failing. Koodos. to you.

 

[CJane]

Look, I absolutely believe that kids can get an decent education in a "failing" school, just as I believe that a kid can fail in a fantastic school. That's not the issue.

What I want you to understand, because I think it will save you heartache in the long run, nevermind a few thousand dollars... is that you walked into court with something that wasn't standard, and you walked out with the very basics. This wasn't a "I proved that Mom was neglecting son", or "I proved that Mom's home is a poor environment in which to raise a child", or anything like that. And whether it was asked for or not, a new custody determination was made.

What this means is that in any cases going forward, you will not be able to bring up anything that's not a material change in circumstances (I keep harping on the phrase for a reason). I'm GLAD you got a determination that Mom will send kiddo to public school. I'm GLAD you have joint custody now. But you didn't WIN anything that any judge wouldn't have ordered upon request. THAT is what all of us kept telling you, and what you're referring to as negative replies - you were never going to win custody of the child based on Mom's desire to homeschool. You were never going to be able to use the money Mom supposedly owes you to get custody. Nothing that you posted was going to back up a case for changing the child's primary custodian. And now, EVEN IF it was enough, it's irrelevant for any cases going forward. You're starting with a clean slate, from which a material change in circumstances must come before anything will be changed in the future.

So to post all of that, and then come back and say "Yup, totally got everything we asked for" in an effort to "let others know what's possible", it's disingenuous. See what I'm saying?