Violation of Consent?

[Zigner]

You might want to contact a domestic violence organization and ask about having a victim's advocate handle communications for you (or with you).

Excellent suggestion.

 

[AndiInAtlanta]

You might want to contact a domestic violence organization and ask about having a victim's advocate handle communications for you (or with you).

I reached out to several originally, but not many wanted to work with me. I never called the police when he acted out physically and he never laid a hand on me (very careful not to do that).

 

[quincy]

I reached out to several originally, but not many wanted to work with me. I never called the police when he acted out physically and he never laid a hand on me (very careful not to do that).

The reaction from the domestic violence organizations seems very odd to me. I suggest you try again.

 

[AndiInAtlanta]

I contacted several domestic violence organizations and attorneys in the area. Hopefully one will be able to help me.

Something came up this weekend that has me even more determined to file the contempt. I contacted his lawyer Thursday afternoon stating that it was time for the first drug test. The lawyer responded within an hour that my ex had been notified. This means that he had a 24 hour window to take the test. That didn't happen. Also (I realize this may not be admissible in court), I found an order in my ex's email account for a detox program that allows you to pass a drug test. He has used this before to pass a drug test. He is basically doing everything he can to give me the finger regarding the consent.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Those "detox" things don't work that well especially when the testing is done by a method other than fast response test cups.

 

[AndiInAtlanta]

Those "detox" things don't work that well especially when the testing is done by a method other than fast response test cups.

He has to pay for the drug test himself, which means he will go for the cheapest method possible (urine). If he uses the detox and waits a certain # of days, would that change the outcome?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

My experience is with lab run mass spectrometer testing.

 

[AndiInAtlanta]

I have another question. If we go back to court over the previous issues, would I be able to reapply for a one-year protective order?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Of course. No guarantee that it will be granted but there was no guarantee the first time around either.

 

[quincy]

I contacted several domestic violence organizations and attorneys in the area. Hopefully one will be able to help me.

Something came up this weekend that has me even more determined to file the contempt. I contacted his lawyer Thursday afternoon stating that it was time for the first drug test. The lawyer responded within an hour that my ex had been notified. This means that he had a 24 hour window to take the test. That didn't happen. Also (I realize this may not be admissible in court), I found an order in my ex's email account for a detox program that allows you to pass a drug test. He has used this before to pass a drug test. He is basically doing everything he can to give me the finger regarding the consent.

Without explicit consent from your ex, you should not be accessing his email account. That is a computer crime.

 

[AndiInAtlanta]

Without explicit consent from your ex, you should not be accessing his email account. That is a computer crime.

I understand that was wrong and it was not done intentionally. (He would use my computer to check his email and he saved the password. My account occasionally logs out and I have to make an effort not to log into his account because the email addresses are very similar.) This is not something I would share outside this forum.

 

[quincy]

I understand that was wrong and it was not done intentionally. (He would use my computer to check his email and he saved the password. My account occasionally logs out and I have to make an effort not to log into his account because the email addresses are very similar.) This is not something I would share outside this forum.

I would be very careful if I were you in using anything you learned from your illegal access. I suggest you change your own account information so you do not mistakenly log into his account again.

I hope you are able to get assistance from one of the domestic violence organizations. And, if this consent order is causing more trouble than you think it's worth, I suggest you return to court for the protection order ... and then try to move on (with necessary precautions taken).

Good luck.

 

[Zigner]

I understand that was wrong and it was not done intentionally. (He would use my computer to check his email and he saved the password. My account occasionally logs out and I have to make an effort not to log into his account because the email addresses are very similar.) This is not something I would share outside this forum.

Why would you maintain anything related to his account on your computer?

Frankly, your protestation and excuses do not ring true (on this matter).

 

[AndiInAtlanta]

Why would you maintain anything related to his account on your computer?

Frankly, your protestation and excuses do not ring true (on this matter).

I rarely use that computer because it is old. Primarily use phone and iPad. It truly was a mistake on my part, and I don't intend to view his email again. Have already deleted the login info from the computer.

 

[AndiInAtlanta]

Just to update, he failed the drug test. It took three requests before his attorney sent the results. Even he can't explain away this one.

So far getting in touch with a domestic violence advocacy group has been slow going. I reach out to them, but I guess there is a back log. Haven't given up though.

In addition, my ex is now attending a daytime AA meeting in the building next to my new job. He was attending evening meetings but switched two weeks ago. This can't be a coincidence.

It looks like I will need to file a contempt motion to cover both the drug test and refusal to see a therapist.

Does this sound right?