Absent father for 9 yrs thinking custody

[SelfmadeShorty]

Legal law for indiana,
It started with a short relationship she got pregnant i left but we was still talked i ask for paternity testing she said f me. He was born a couple months later and didn't tell me he was here til 3 weeks later. She brought him past to see me twice my mother didn't see him either time. So fast forward the last five years i been asking for paternity i bought it from CVS the answer stayed the same even wrote her mother about it in 2016 nothing. Two months ago cps took all 4 of her kids for whipping the youngest that was March. Just now contacting me the end of may asked me to go to court with her. I want to b in his life so I went, to avoid child support should I take custody but more then that I've been robbed of my time, I think I can provide a better life for him and overall I'm fair. What should I do ?

 

[Just Blue]

Legal law for indiana,
It started with a short relationship she got pregnant i left but we was still talked i ask for paternity testing she said f me. He was born a couple months later and didn't tell me he was here til 3 weeks later. She brought him past to see me twice my mother didn't see him either time. So fast forward the last five years i been asking for paternity i bought it from CVS the answer stayed the same even wrote her mother about it in 2016 nothing. Two months ago cps took all 4 of her kids for whipping the youngest that was March. Just now contacting me the end of may asked me to go to court with her. I want to b in his life so I went, to avoid child support should I take custody but more then that I've been robbed of my time, I think I can provide a better life for him and overall I'm fair. What should I do ?

You were not robbed of anything. You could have filed for paternity/support/visitation 9 years ago. You chose not to.

 

[SelfmadeShorty]

I understand that but I'm not court friendly every time I saw a court it was jail time coming. 9 years ago I was 21 just started living so do have any advise that I can us now Sir.

 

[LdiJ]

Legal law for indiana,
It started with a short relationship she got pregnant i left but we was still talked i ask for paternity testing she said f me. He was born a couple months later and didn't tell me he was here til 3 weeks later. She brought him past to see me twice my mother didn't see him either time. So fast forward the last five years i been asking for paternity i bought it from CVS the answer stayed the same even wrote her mother about it in 2016 nothing. Two months ago cps took all 4 of her kids for whipping the youngest that was March. Just now contacting me the end of may asked me to go to court with her. I want to b in his life so I went, to avoid child support should I take custody but more then that I've been robbed of my time, I think I can provide a better life for him and overall I'm fair. What should I do ?

Ok, let me see if I really understand what you are saying. 10 years or so ago a woman said that you got her pregnant. You asked for a DNA test and she said no. You saw the child a couple of times after the child was born but you have chosen not to be part of the child's life without a DNA test.

Now, CPS has taken all 4 of her children and she is asking you to go to court. You are wondering if you should "take custody" in order to avoid child support.

Its not going to be quite that simple. You are now going to get your wish to have a DNA test because you won't be considered for custody at all until paternity is established. If the DNA test says that you are the father you will have the opportunity to try to get placement of your son through CPS, but its not guaranteed. You apparently are as much of a stranger to the child as the foster parents are.

By the way, for the sake of other people that may read this thread, you have always had the opportunity to file in court to establish paternity via a DNA test. You never needed mom's permission to do so. The judge would have ordered her to cooperate.

 

[stealth2]

I understand that but I'm not court friendly every time I saw a court it was jail time coming. 9 years ago I was 21 just started living so do have any advise that I can us now Sir.

But *this* intrigues me. So what is your criminal history?

And no, you weren't robbed of anything - you gave it away. A CVS DNA test would never have been accepted by the court, anyway.

 

[SelfmadeShorty]

Weed cases

 

[HRZ]

Two CVS tests are probably well accurate enough for you to make a personal decision about which is the legal road worth taking ?

 

[SelfmadeShorty]

I don't like dealing with law enforcement at all even courts so including them was never a option

 

[stealth2]

I don't like dealing with law enforcement at all even courts so including them was never a option

Sorry - that was always the ONLY option. So you really have only yourself to blame.

 

[SelfmadeShorty]

I feel i should add she was living with her friend with her 4 kids in a 2 bedroom apartment so that's 8 kids total. Her other child's father has been absent for 4 years and he is fighting for custody. So I picture she was doing him something like she did me.

 

[LdiJ]

I feel i should add she was living with her friend with her 4 kids in a 2 bedroom apartment so that's 8 kids total. Her other child's father has been absent for 4 years and he is fighting for custody. So I picture she was doing him something like she did me.

Doesn't matter. Until you establish paternity via a court ordered DNA test you are nothing to the child.

 

[SelfmadeShorty]

Sorry - that was always the ONLY option. So you really have only yourself to y

you right but for people like me just don't want to deal with them people the money and the time is nothing don't want no people telling me nothing it's between me and her but it didn't work that way now I'm asking for advise I'm a good guy I got kids but I never forgot I want to know him if he is

 

[Just Blue]

I don't like dealing with law enforcement at all even courts so including them was never a option

So how can you accuse mom of "robbing" you? You chose to not have a relationship because of your background.

 

[Just Blue]

I feel i should add she was living with her friend with her 4 kids in a 2 bedroom apartment so that's 8 kids total. Her other child's father has been absent for 4 years and he is fighting for custody. So I picture she was doing him something like she did me.

Well perhaps if you had manned up and established paternity she would had some financial help from you and lived in better conditions.

 

[stealth2]

you right but for people like me just don't want to deal with them people the money and the time is nothing don't want no people telling me nothing it's between me and her but it didn't work that way now I'm asking for advise I'm a good guy I got kids but I never forgot I want to know him if he is

That's too bad. LEGALLY, you had nothing to be robbed of, because of your own foolishness. Now you have no choice but the courts.