401k issued to spouse over primary beneficiary.

[BugDispenzr]

What is the name of your state? Maine but this takes place in NH.

My father had a 401k that he started 20+ years ago. I have always been the primary beneficiary. About 18 months before he died in August, he remarried for the 3rd time. Now, she is receiving his pension, social security, checking and savings, life insurance and on top of it the feds are giving her the 401k my dad left to me to help take care of myself and my sister with.

I know this is a fed law, but isn't there anything I can do?? I know for a fact that my father knew nothing about this or he would have done something.

I understand why that law was first put into place, but I personally believe it be outdated and just plain wrong.

Someone help

 

[Dandy Don]

So exactly who are the "feds" that are doing this? Let's face it, surviving spouses do have rights and that is as it should be. Were you specifically told that you would not be receiving this and given a reason why? Did dad leave a will?

 

[BugDispenzr]

Feds...federal law.

..and 'as it should be' is very subjective.

As it should be according to whom? I wish that this sort of thing could be dealt with on a case by case basis...as I believe it should be, but we know that won't happen because that takes time regardless of how fair it is.

Yes, there is a will. Yes I am in the will, though the 401k is not mentioned and I know this won't make a difference but my father told his wife, me and my sister that the 401k was for my sister and I not long before he died. If he had wanted his wife to have it he would have changed it into her name.

Mind you they were married 18 months, I can't understand how 18 months of marriage overrides my fathers own will(not the paper, but his feelings), my 28 years as his daughter and what is written there...he's had that 401k set up for me since I was a very young child...and yes I was told I would not be receiving this because of the law that states regardless of who's name is on it it goes to the wife first unless she signs a waiver. We can be fairly sure that isn't going to happen, since she is also trying to get what my father left us in the will : /

You'll have to excuse me if I sound frustrated. I am.

 

[Dandy Don]

I understand you are frustrated, but if you were a surviving spouse, wouldn't you want financial priority as a surviving spouse? Perhaps your father was not fully aware or informed of the requirements of the 401K or how the beneficiary designations would play out.

 

[BugDispenzr]

I'd get into the circumstances of why she should not get priority, but it doesn't really matter. ...and I can tell you with complete honesty that if I were handed something that I knew my husband wanted his kids to have, you can be sure I would give it to them, because I care about what it is my husband wants.

This is totally leaving the realm of law, and I can obviously see this isn't getting me anywhere. So thank you for your time, I really do appreciate it.