MomandDad2006
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX Hello to all who read this.
Im a 24 yr old man and have 2 stepsons ages 5 and 9. I married their mother in 2006. The oldest child's father had agreed to sign away his rights or at least consent to my adopting Adam The youngest father isn't obligated to pay support as my wife never pursued it.
He is in his early 40s late 30s has no job lives with his mom and had a history of drug abuse and alcoholism. I fully understand that I am legally speaking nothing more than a legal stranger. I understand I have no rights or claim to these two boys. I do support them financially and love to do so. I have been there for them consistently the last 4 years. I would still want to do these things if hell froze over and I divorced my wife.
My wife and I have talked to him about his real father, we did not want to lie to the boy about his actual parentage. He knows his name and when asks where he is we don't know what else to say except at home and he is sick. He is sick, has to be, any man at 40 with no desire to support himself and get clean has some issues. My question for you all today is this. My wife has researched some things online and there is a mention of a guardian ad litem. These people talk to the children to determine what the kids want/needs. Well if you ask my stepson he will say I want to see him (him being his real father) how much weight will that have in court? My wife speaks to dad every so often and has told him we would like him to be involved yet he needs to do something with himself that is productive instead of destructive.
Dad is on the BC and signed and AOP at the child's birth. last visit was in early 2006 afterwords he called drunk saying he was on his way to get his son. After that my wife told him to kiss her rear. He has never tried to see him, don't call to even ask. My wife and I have decided to wait to pursue it until after I am out of the military which is about 2 and a half more years, by that time my step son will be 7 years old.. What are our chances if he claims to want to be involved, he doesn't or he done would have been. Its almost like my stepson is HIS possession. Its ok for me to raise him and provide everything for him while he sits around smoking pot and getting drunk but me trying to be legally what I already am is too much for him. What sort of obstacles would we face? Do they want budgets and credit reports? Home study's? How much weight would a 7 yr old have by saying I would like to see my real dad? He would as we have always told him that his real dad loves him and misses him and it seems we have painted him to be a good man and that isn't true, but since Manny is half of him we couldn't show disgust for him. My oldest step son hates him, says that he is a drunk crazy man, he saw a lot when my wife was with this man. We have told Adam never to tell this to Manny and Adam thinks we are lying to Manny.He says when Manny is older he is going to tell him. I understand that this man is dad and I am just a step parent, I understand he doesn't have to consent. I just want it understood that I do have my step sons best interest at heart and I love them both.
Im a 24 yr old man and have 2 stepsons ages 5 and 9. I married their mother in 2006. The oldest child's father had agreed to sign away his rights or at least consent to my adopting Adam The youngest father isn't obligated to pay support as my wife never pursued it.
He is in his early 40s late 30s has no job lives with his mom and had a history of drug abuse and alcoholism. I fully understand that I am legally speaking nothing more than a legal stranger. I understand I have no rights or claim to these two boys. I do support them financially and love to do so. I have been there for them consistently the last 4 years. I would still want to do these things if hell froze over and I divorced my wife.
My wife and I have talked to him about his real father, we did not want to lie to the boy about his actual parentage. He knows his name and when asks where he is we don't know what else to say except at home and he is sick. He is sick, has to be, any man at 40 with no desire to support himself and get clean has some issues. My question for you all today is this. My wife has researched some things online and there is a mention of a guardian ad litem. These people talk to the children to determine what the kids want/needs. Well if you ask my stepson he will say I want to see him (him being his real father) how much weight will that have in court? My wife speaks to dad every so often and has told him we would like him to be involved yet he needs to do something with himself that is productive instead of destructive.
Dad is on the BC and signed and AOP at the child's birth. last visit was in early 2006 afterwords he called drunk saying he was on his way to get his son. After that my wife told him to kiss her rear. He has never tried to see him, don't call to even ask. My wife and I have decided to wait to pursue it until after I am out of the military which is about 2 and a half more years, by that time my step son will be 7 years old.. What are our chances if he claims to want to be involved, he doesn't or he done would have been. Its almost like my stepson is HIS possession. Its ok for me to raise him and provide everything for him while he sits around smoking pot and getting drunk but me trying to be legally what I already am is too much for him. What sort of obstacles would we face? Do they want budgets and credit reports? Home study's? How much weight would a 7 yr old have by saying I would like to see my real dad? He would as we have always told him that his real dad loves him and misses him and it seems we have painted him to be a good man and that isn't true, but since Manny is half of him we couldn't show disgust for him. My oldest step son hates him, says that he is a drunk crazy man, he saw a lot when my wife was with this man. We have told Adam never to tell this to Manny and Adam thinks we are lying to Manny.He says when Manny is older he is going to tell him. I understand that this man is dad and I am just a step parent, I understand he doesn't have to consent. I just want it understood that I do have my step sons best interest at heart and I love them both.
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