Accidental pregnancy and private adoption

[Tenpenny]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

Hello all. I may be the biological father of a child that was recently conceived (close to a month ago now). It was unplanned, and my partner and I had only been dating for several months. Now in all honestly, and I know that this will earn me the contempt of some, I do not want the child at all, and I tried to convince her to abort it. But she doesn't want to, and has instead agreed to bear the child to term with the intention of adopting it out to a couple who can't have children that wants it.

My main concerns right now are regarding my risk of getting sued for child support and losing my parental rights at the same time. Adoption requires the signing of a TPR, as I understand it, but TPRs also do not mean that you're no longer liable for child support. Now, my biggest fear here is that they get me to sign the TPR but never go through with the adoption and then sue me for child support. I would be left with nothing to barter with since I'd have done away with my parental rights and can't sue for custody. Is there any way that I can go about ensuring that I don't sign a TPR without 100% confidence that the legal adoption will be finalized, and that I'll never be pursued for child support?

Some other details that are probably important: The mother is currently not speaking to me. She's also been living with her ex the entire duration of our relationship, which is why I started out by saying that I may be the father. In the event of getting sued for child support, I would ask for a paternity test, but there's no point for optimism when it comes to figuring out how to avoid worst case scenarios.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

Hello all. I may be the biological father of a child that was recently conceived (close to a month ago now). It was unplanned, and my partner and I had only been dating for several months. Now in all honestly, and I know that this will earn me the contempt of some, I do not want the child at all, and I tried to convince her to abort it. But she doesn't want to, and has instead agreed to bear the child to term with the intention of adopting it out to a couple who can't have children that wants it.

My main concerns right now are regarding my risk of getting sued for child support and losing my parental rights at the same time. Adoption requires the signing of a TPR, as I understand it, but TPRs also do not mean that you're no longer liable for child support. Now, my biggest fear here is that they get me to sign the TPR but never go through with the adoption and then sue me for child support. I would be left with nothing to barter with since I'd have done away with my parental rights and can't sue for custody. Is there any way that I can go about ensuring that I don't sign a TPR without 100% confidence that the legal adoption will be finalized, and that I'll never be pursued for child support?

Some other details that are probably important: The mother is currently not speaking to me. She's also been living with her ex the entire duration of our relationship, which is why I started out by saying that I may be the father. In the event of getting sued for child support, I would ask for a paternity test, but there's no point for optimism when it comes to figuring out how to avoid worst case scenarios.

TPR does indeed negate the child support obligation. It won't negate any arrears owed, but it will remove any current obligation.

You cannot force Mom to agree to the adoption; she's free to change her mind right up until the adoption is finalized (generally speaking). If this happens, she (or the State) may pursue you in order to establish paternity and order CS.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

Hello all. I may be the biological father of a child that was recently conceived (close to a month ago now). It was unplanned, and my partner and I had only been dating for several months. Now in all honestly, and I know that this will earn me the contempt of some, I do not want the child at all, and I tried to convince her to abort it. But she doesn't want to, and has instead agreed to bear the child to term with the intention of adopting it out to a couple who can't have children that wants it.

My main concerns right now are regarding my risk of getting sued for child support and losing my parental rights at the same time. Adoption requires the signing of a TPR, as I understand it, but TPRs also do not mean that you're no longer liable for child support. Now, my biggest fear here is that they get me to sign the TPR but never go through with the adoption and then sue me for child support. I would be left with nothing to barter with since I'd have done away with my parental rights and can't sue for custody. Is there any way that I can go about ensuring that I don't sign a TPR without 100% confidence that the legal adoption will be finalized, and that I'll never be pursued for child support?

Some other details that are probably important: The mother is currently not speaking to me. She's also been living with her ex the entire duration of our relationship, which is why I started out by saying that I may be the father. In the event of getting sued for child support, I would ask for a paternity test, but there's no point for optimism when it comes to figuring out how to avoid worst case scenarios.

Procreation 101:
Sex = Baby

 

[Tenpenny]

TPR does indeed negate the child support obligation. It won't negate any arrears owed, but it will remove any current obligation.

You cannot force Mom to agree to the adoption; she's free to change her mind right up until the adoption is finalized (generally speaking). If this happens, she (or the State) may pursue you in order to establish paternity and order CS.

From what I've seen (although none of that has been legal documents), that's only the case in adoption. So if it's just TPR and no (legal) adoption, all I'm doing is giving up rights, but can still be liable for child support. My concern is if I sign the TPR and adoption, but then the adoption gets revoked, or something of that nature.

 

[Proserpina]

From what I've seen (although none of that has been legal documents), that's only the case in adoption. So if it's just TPR and no (legal) adoption, all I'm doing is giving up rights, but can still be liable for child support. My concern is if I sign the TPR and adoption, but then the adoption gets revoked, or something of that nature.

The point being, a voluntary TPR in CA is generally contingent upon a stepparent adoption.

 

[Tenpenny]

The point being, a voluntary TPR in CA is generally contingent upon a stepparent adoption.

I see. So it's not as if they're going to take my TPR, and then run away laughing with unsigned adoption papers and California will just be okey-dokey with that.

 

[Proserpina]

I see. So it's not as if they're going to take my TPR, and then run away laughing with unsigned adoption papers and California will just be okey-dokey with that.

You know, you could always just man up and pay the child support. Maybe even have a relationship with your potential child.

Just a thought.

 

[Just Blue]

You know, you could always just man up and pay the child support. Maybe even have a relationship with your potential child.

Just a thought.

Perish the thought! Why should OP be responsible for his "accidental" spermage deposit???

 

[Tenpenny]

I'd pay child support willingly if the mother keeps it, and I'm the father. If it gets given to the couple without a legal adoption process though, and then they want me to pay child support, I have problems.

I don't think the mother and I would have anything resembling a good long-term relationship. I'd be involved if she let me, but she would raise it. I think being raised by a responsible single parent is better than a hateful couple.

 

[Proserpina]

I'd pay child support willingly if the mother keeps it, and I'm the father. If it gets given to the couple without a legal adoption process though, and then they want me to pay child support, I have problems.

I don't think the mother and I would have anything resembling a good long-term relationship. I'd be involved if she let me, but she would raise it. I think being raised by a responsible single parent is better than a hateful couple.

Actually, there's a lot of truth in that last sentence.

 

[Just Blue]

I'd pay child support willingly if the mother keeps it, and I'm the father. If it gets given to the couple without a legal adoption process though, and then they want me to pay child support, I have problems.

A DNA test will be ordered to verify paternity. IF you are deemed to be father, you have a right to file for custody. That you do not seem concerned(other than $$) that Mom is gonna just plop this infant with whomever is very concerning. There is a very GOOD reason for Adoptions to go through the process via Court and Attorneys.

 

[Tenpenny]

A DNA test will be ordered to verify paternity. IF you are deemed to be father, you have a right to file for custody. That you do not seem concerned(other than $$) that Mom is gonna just plop this infant with whomever is very concerning. There is a very GOOD reason for Adoptions to go through the process via Court and Attorneys.

I'm concerned, but I have no say. She's cut me out of her life and won't listen to any arguments for her to do otherwise. Since this will be a private adoption, it apparently doesn't have to go through court.

 

[TheGeekess]

I'm concerned, but I have no say. She's cut me out of her life and won't listen to any arguments for her to do otherwise. Since this will be a private adoption, it apparently doesn't have to go through court.

Yes, it will. The 'private' refers to not going through the state agency for placement.

 

[Proserpina]

I'm concerned, but I have no say. She's cut me out of her life and won't listen to any arguments for her to do otherwise. Since this will be a private adoption, it apparently doesn't have to go through court.

Okay - you have her name, right?

Be proactive. You CAN file a paternity action in CA prior to the child being born.

 

[Just Blue]

I'm concerned, but I have no say. She's cut me out of her life and won't listen to any arguments for her to do otherwise. Since this will be a private adoption, it apparently doesn't have to go through court.

I do not want the child at all, and I tried to convince her to abort it

My main concerns right now are regarding my risk of getting sued for child support and losing my parental rights at the same time. Adoption requires the signing of a TPR, as I understand it, but TPRs also do not mean that you're no longer liable for child support

.

Yeah. You are concerned with handing over "tenpenny" in support. Per your own postings.