Accidental pregnancy and private adoption

[ecmst12]

All you can do is hope that mom doesn't decide to back out of the adoption. The infertile community will thank you both for your gift and your child will have a good life.

 

[Tenpenny]

Okay - you have her name, right?

Be proactive. You CAN file a paternity action in CA prior to the child being born.

I don't want to take legal action quite yet. I called her and apologize the other day, and she didn't hang up on me and said that she might talk to me again in time, so there's hope for discussion down the road. I suspect that the adoptive couple will want to have my signature since for all they know, I'm a crazy drug addict, so I'll hopefully at least be able to talk with them.

I also would have a difficult time affording a lawyer.

.

Yeah. You are concerned with handing over "tenpenny" in support. Per your own postings.

The child at this point is a group of cells hasn't even developed a nervous system. I tried to convince her to have an abortion, because the alternatives are 1) raising a child as a single mom with no career and no education beyond high school, and 2) giving it to a couple that will be 25 years older than most of the other parents at school, which I think is unfortunate. They had three other children, but they want another now, apparently. If you're going to bring a child into the world, I think you should do the best you can to ensure that it has a good home, and she isn't doing that. She's having it for entirely selfish reasons, which she admitted to me (it will give her meaning in life, as opposed to her current boring life of working. Also, the adoptive parents will support her for a while and help her with rent.)

Yes, you're right, I am being selfish, and my main concerns at this point are selfish concerns. But I've exhausted all my arguments on her for why she shouldn't have it for moral reasons, and the moral implications of this pregnancy, and she wouldn't budge. So I'm now ignoring all that, because it's futile, and will cause me anxiety and stress over things that I can't change.

Edit: I'm not at all opposed to adoption. I'd be happy with this outcome, in all honesty, if I had a say in the parents it was being adopted to, and trusted the mother more.

 

[stealth2]

But I've exhausted all my arguments on her for why she shouldn't have it for moral reasons, and the moral implications of this pregnancy, and she wouldn't budge.

One must wonder what moral reasons could be used to argue for the killing of a child.

And OP? Do the world a favor - get snipped before you have sex again.