Prismacolored
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
New York
My brother and his fianc� are expecting their third child and my brother recently broke up with her. They struggle financially but the now ex fianc� is on SSI and receives an apartment, WIC, DSS benefits for her current children. She has enough to financially care for the children and is a good mom but is struggling emotionally and is questioning her ability to care for three. My brother does not want the third child and offered to sign away parental rights should she put this baby up for adoption.
The ex and I are not close but have a relationship. I spend time with her and my nieces and we often get together with our children or go shopping together. She agrees with how my husband and I raise our child and expressed an interest in us adopting her son who is due November 5th.
I am interested in doing so for several reasons. My husband and I have one child together as well as visitation with his two children from a previous marriage. We plan on having one more child and also planned on trying to be foster parents as we both grew up with families who raised foster kids and believe in doing our part to help kids in need, and also keeping open the option to adopt a child should the opportunity present itself.
We discussed the situation after it was presented to us last night and decided that we are willing to do whatever the ex fianc� feels the most comfortable with - either outright adoption where we would raise the child as our own and she would be the aunt and it would be a completely open adoption and the child would know at age appropriate levels the situation. We would also be willing to be foster parents and raise the child until his mother was able to take him back, if ever or until he was 18. I'm not interested in cutting her our of her child's life, but I am interested in keeping him in his family and allowing him a relationship, no matter if he is legally my son or not, with his mother and natural siblings.
We do not have a lot of money and a lawyer will be a stretch for us though we can likely use legal aid. We are not poor, but we are on a tight budget to allow me to stay home with my child for a few years. We pay our bills and have food on the table and have to save for extras but we are okay. Legal fees would likely kill us, but we do have all of the supplies and love and can feed and clothe another child.
My question is : if she does decide that she wants to move forward, what is the best course of action? Adoption or Foster care? Is either process very expensive? We can't afford huge legal fees in a lump sum, but do have the ability to make on time payments. How would foster in this situation work? Can I give her visitation whenever I want or would DSS limit it?
I am leaving mom alone to decide herself with her caseworker because I don't want to influence her in any way, I feel this is a decision to make peace with without my input, but I want to be prepared to move forward should she decide to go ahead.
New York
My brother and his fianc� are expecting their third child and my brother recently broke up with her. They struggle financially but the now ex fianc� is on SSI and receives an apartment, WIC, DSS benefits for her current children. She has enough to financially care for the children and is a good mom but is struggling emotionally and is questioning her ability to care for three. My brother does not want the third child and offered to sign away parental rights should she put this baby up for adoption.
The ex and I are not close but have a relationship. I spend time with her and my nieces and we often get together with our children or go shopping together. She agrees with how my husband and I raise our child and expressed an interest in us adopting her son who is due November 5th.
I am interested in doing so for several reasons. My husband and I have one child together as well as visitation with his two children from a previous marriage. We plan on having one more child and also planned on trying to be foster parents as we both grew up with families who raised foster kids and believe in doing our part to help kids in need, and also keeping open the option to adopt a child should the opportunity present itself.
We discussed the situation after it was presented to us last night and decided that we are willing to do whatever the ex fianc� feels the most comfortable with - either outright adoption where we would raise the child as our own and she would be the aunt and it would be a completely open adoption and the child would know at age appropriate levels the situation. We would also be willing to be foster parents and raise the child until his mother was able to take him back, if ever or until he was 18. I'm not interested in cutting her our of her child's life, but I am interested in keeping him in his family and allowing him a relationship, no matter if he is legally my son or not, with his mother and natural siblings.
We do not have a lot of money and a lawyer will be a stretch for us though we can likely use legal aid. We are not poor, but we are on a tight budget to allow me to stay home with my child for a few years. We pay our bills and have food on the table and have to save for extras but we are okay. Legal fees would likely kill us, but we do have all of the supplies and love and can feed and clothe another child.
My question is : if she does decide that she wants to move forward, what is the best course of action? Adoption or Foster care? Is either process very expensive? We can't afford huge legal fees in a lump sum, but do have the ability to make on time payments. How would foster in this situation work? Can I give her visitation whenever I want or would DSS limit it?
I am leaving mom alone to decide herself with her caseworker because I don't want to influence her in any way, I feel this is a decision to make peace with without my input, but I want to be prepared to move forward should she decide to go ahead.
), could you please elaborate on this?