Adoption and fathers right

[AdoptionIsLove]

I'll reiterate:

In this country, you cannot place the child for adoption without the father's consent, or consent from the court.

A few points though:

1. If you apply for government assistance, the State of Nevada WILL go after him for reimbursement.

I'm not applying for assistance. I want to give this child up for adoption!


2. Honestly - he was good enough for you to sleep with, so the court truly trusts your decision and thinks he's ample parenting material.

He wasn't good enough for me to sleep with. We were 2 stupid kids and I didn't realize that until this whole mess and understand that adopting this child is the best thing to do. Don't understand what you mean by the courts trusting my decision and thinking he's ample parenting material. ??? I don't plan on fighting him in court, because it will never be necessary. He won't file anything and won't reply to anything. He said they will just come and take the child from me when I give birth.

3. And seriously - if you (or anyone else for that matter) think that the extra government benefits obtained by the addition of a newborn actually outweigh the COSTS of that newborn..you're delusional.

I don't know anything about govt benefits, but hear from my own parents and my ex-boyfriend's family members that this is what they think. I'm NOT delusional, just ignorant, because I had no idea what that really meant until someone explained it to me.

But, we see it here all the time. People claiming that the Other Parent/family can't possibly want the child because they actually WANT the child. It's always - ALWAYS -because they want more money.

AGAIN, I don't want to keep the child! My parents want this adoption as much as I do! They helped me to get to this decision during my pregnancy. My church helped me make this decision too. My God helped me make this decision! I can't do anything about the foolishness of sleeping with another stupid teenager. We were stupid!

And it's frankly rarely the case.

Either I'm misunderstanding or it seems you think I want to keep this child and get welfare benefits. I want to adopt her out, I want to finish high school, without making the same mistake. I want to go to college and I want to grow up and become a smarter woman and one day get married first and start a family that I can really care for and love. I also don't want this child to be raised in my ex's family and am fearful that if I stay in Las Vegas and have her, they will take her from me illegally of course and when we call the police, the child will be taken into the system for me to fight to get out, because again they will not pay a dime to fight to get this child legally. They will take the child if they could and remove her from the state and/or country - South Pacific too.

 

[Proserpina]

Either I'm misunderstanding or it seems you think I want to keep this child and get welfare benefits.

I was clarifying something you seemed to believe.

(That he would force you to go on assistance and he wouldn't support the child - he wouldn't actually have that choice).

I want to adopt her out, I want to finish high school, without making the same mistake.

That's now no longer your sole decision.

I want to go to college and I want to grow up and become a smarter woman and one day get married first and start a family that I can really care for and love.

Okay.

I also don't want this child to be raised in my ex's family and am fearful that if I stay in Las Vegas and have her, they will take her from me illegally of course and when we call the police, the child will be taken into the system for me to fight to get out, because again they will not pay a dime to fight to get this child legally. They will take the child if they could and remove her from the state and/or country - South Pacific too.

Seriously, if you really don't want to be involved with any of this - if you're not too far along, terminating the pregnancy is a viable option.

Because the very second you give birth to a living child, Dad has the right to file to establish everything.

NOW with that being said..if you do have the child, and manage to somehow stay under the radar long enough to claim abandonment (and despite many people believing otherwise, paternity does NOT necessarily have to be established in order to do this), his rights can be terminated without his consent and then you can place the child for adoption.

But seriously - once again you've said NOTHING to indicate that he or his family are unfit to take care of the child.

 

[AdoptionIsLove]

This makes no sense at all, I'm sorry.

Sorry. I was rambling and typing fast and really, the issue is I'm pregnant, 2 months to the due date, 15, going to be 16 before the year ends, I want to adopt this child out, and don't want her with him or his family. I was told that if I have the baby in Utah, where this family lives, because we are not married I could adopt the child out without his permission. My parents know this for a fact, because in 1995 my dad's younger brother got his girlfriend in college pregnant while in Utah and she gave birth and gave this child up for adoption. The law then stated that they weren't married and he had no rights regarding the adoption. It's the truth. If any attorneys on here want to dig that court case up, feel free to send a personal message and I will give you the name of my uncle, his then girlfriend, the agency the baby was given to for adoption and you will see what I've said is the truth. I really just want to give this baby up for adoption without having to have his permission. He told me he doesn't want to take care of the baby, but his mom and grandma will take care of it like their own. I don't want that.

 

[Proserpina]

Sorry. I was rambling and typing fast and really, the issue is I'm pregnant, 2 months to the due date, 15, going to be 16 before the year ends, I want to adopt this child out, and don't want her with him or his family. I was told that if I have the baby in Utah, where this family lives, because we are not married I could adopt the child out without his permission. My parents know this for a fact, because in 1995 my dad's younger brother got his girlfriend in college pregnant while in Utah and she gave birth and gave this child up for adoption. The law then stated that they weren't married and he had no rights regarding the adoption. It's the truth. If any attorneys on here want to dig that court case up, feel free to send a personal message and I will give you the name of my uncle, his then girlfriend, the agency the baby was given to for adoption and you will see what I've said is the truth. I really just want to give this baby up for adoption without having to have his permission. He told me he doesn't want to take care of the baby, but his mom and grandma will take care of it like their own. I don't want that.

Then there's your answer.

 

[AdoptionIsLove]

Seriously, if you really don't want to be involved with any of this - if you're not too far along, terminating the pregnancy is a viable option. That's never been an option for me and even if it were I'm 2 months away from due date

Because the very second you give birth to a living child, Dad has the right to file to establish everything. I am certain he or they wouldn't bother filing anything at all.

NOW with that being said..if you do have the child, and manage to somehow stay under the radar long enough to claim abandonment (and despite many people believing otherwise, paternity does NOT necessarily have to be established in order to do this), his rights can be terminated without his consent and then you can place the child for adoption. I'm not going to do that. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I don't think this is an option. We'll have to figure it out I guess.

But seriously - once again you've said NOTHING to indicate that he or his family are unfit to take care of the child.

I didn't want to come on this site and bash them. Their own family (his uncles, aunts and mom's first cousins, grandma's brother (his great uncle) all bash them enough as it is. I can tell you what my parents have said and I think I believe them. My ex's family are just not good. The environment they live in is abusive. He and his brothers and 2 sisters are physically, mentally and emotionally abused, but all believe it is how it is supposed to be because they say their culture is tough. They have been prosecuted in another state for welfare fraud and I don't have details, but know this information from my ex, himself, because he told me that is why left up and left the state they were living in before moving here over a year ago. My ex's mom and dad have had at least 5 domestic violence calls to their home in the last year, because one of them is beating on the other, my ex's grandtmother who lives with them is diabetic and in and out of the hospital, but believes that if this child is born and lives with them she can collect an additional $1000 - $3000 tax benefits - something I already said I know nothing about, but my ex told me this, not my parents. My parents have said that their family has a horrible reputation of being hotheads, physically violent in public when things don't go their way, etc...I could go on and on with the things I know from my parents who know his family VERY well and from the information he has given me himself, but I won't. Thanks for your help. We will figure something out.

 

[Isis1]

look, mom to be. i want you to stop and read.

per the law. in order for the adoption process to succeed, DAD has to consent to the adoption. without that consent, that adoption is not a valid option. it's called due process.

it is no longer the 1800's where the unwed mother just parcelled the child off. punative dad has rights. whether you like it or not.

you don't want the child, dad has the option of filing for custody. he has to be legally included for you to get anywhere.

you have choices. hand the child over to dad. the courts will go after you for child support. especially with him collecting state welfare.

talk to dad about adoption. have him meet the potential parents. really REALLY get him to understand this is best for the child. AND for him.

OR, keep the child, be a mother.

i am so sorry for the misinformation you have been fed this whole time. whoever gave you the idea you had the sole authority to give this child away like it was a puppy ought to be shot right where they stand. they put you in a disgusting position where your options are that much more limited. yes, you shouldn't have had sex to get pregnant to begin with and that't your responsibility to bear. but to let it go this far without giving you proper information is not forgivable.

 

[Proserpina]

look, mom to be. i want you to stop and read.

per the law. in order for the adoption process to succeed, DAD has to consent to the adoption. without that consent, that adoption is not a valid option. it's called due process.

it is no longer the 1800's where the unwed mother just parcelled the child off. punative dad has rights. whether you like it or not.

you don't want the child, dad has the option of filing for custody. he has to be legally included for you to get anywhere.

you have choices. hand the child over to dad. the courts will go after you for child support. especially with him collecting state welfare.

talk to dad about adoption. have him meet the potential parents. really REALLY get him to understand this is best for the child. AND for him.

OR, keep the child, be a mother.

i am so sorry for the misinformation you have been fed this whole time. whoever gave you the idea you had the sole authority to give this child away like it was a puppy ought to be shot right where they stand. they put you in a disgusting position where your options are that much more limited. yes, you shouldn't have had sex to get pregnant to begin with and that't your responsibility to bear. but to let it go this far without giving you proper information is not forgivable.

Isis...couple things babe. You know I love you - but you're wrong here.

Utah DOES allow for an adoption to take place without the unmarried father's consent.

(I'm obviously not affiliated with or otherwise connected to this site, but it was the first google hit I found):

http://www.utahadoptionattorney.com/



And it's "putative"

 

[Isis1]

Isis...couple things babe. You know I love you - but you're wrong here.

Utah DOES allow for an adoption to take place without the unmarried father's consent.

(I'm obviously not affiliated with or otherwise connected to this site, but it was the first google hit I found):

http://www.utahadoptionattorney.com/



And it's "putative"

LMAO! you're right! I hate my stupid spell check! It keeps auto correcting me to words I don't want.

And you're right, again. I only breezed through NV law, not OH.

 

[Proserpina]

LMAO! you're right! I hate my stupid spell check! It keeps auto correcting me to words I don't want.

And you're right, again. I only breezed through NV law, not OH.

Utah. Not Ohio.

LOL. Your spell-check absolutely SUCKS lol.

Sorry, OP - we're not making light of the situation at all.

 

[Isis1]

Utah. Not Ohio.

LOL. Your spell-check absolutely SUCKS lol.

Sorry, OP - we're not making light of the situation at all.

I can't blame that one on my spell check. That was all me.

 

[Just Blue]

Sorry. I was rambling and typing fast and really, the issue is I'm pregnant, 2 months to the due date, 15, going to be 16 before the year ends, I want to adopt this child out, and don't want her with him or his family. I was told that if I have the baby in Utah, where this family lives, because we are not married without his permission. My parents know this for a fact, because in 1995 my dad's younger brother got his girlfriend in college pregnant while in Utah and she gave birth and gave this child up for adoption. The law then stated that they weren't married and he had no rights regarding the adoption. It's the truth. If any attorneys on here want to dig that court case up, feel free to send a personal message and I will give you the name of my uncle, his then girlfriend, the agency the baby was given to for adoption and you will see what I've said is the truth. I really just want to give this baby up for adoption without having to have his permission. He told me he doesn't want to take care of the baby, but his mom and grandma will take care of it like their own. I don't want that.

Just a FYI; The term is "place this child for adoption".

I

could adopt the child out

Just offensive.

 

[LdiJ]

Blue, I know what you're saying - but the reality here is that Nevada is not one of those States. She can go wherever she wants.

I had already checked before I posted.

Not to hijack - but WA? I'd love to see that statute (given our family's delightful personal circumstances ).

No statute exists that can prevent a pregnant woman from moving wherever she likes. Its just that the case can be filed and jurisdiction established in WA before the baby is born.

There is absolutely no way under the sun to prevent a pregnant woman from moving, in any state, unless she is on probation, under house arrest, or out on bail for a criminal offense.

 

[Just Blue]

No statute exists that can prevent a pregnant woman from moving wherever she likes. Its just that the case can be filed and jurisdiction established in WA before the baby is born.

There is absolutely no way under the sun to prevent a pregnant woman from moving, in any state, unless she is on probation, under house arrest, or out on bail for a criminal offense.

Are you so SURE that NO STATE can prevent this? Really?

 

[LdiJ]

Are you so SURE that NO STATE can prevent this? Really?

Yes, I am absolutely certain. Its a constitutional rights issue. Can I be certain that no judge has ever attempted to do so? No, I cannot be certain of that because judges make illegal rulings in all 50 states from time to time.

 

[Zigner]

I told my aunt and family no one would be kind to a young stupid teenager like me on this forum...

Frankly, your age has no effect on your stupidity. What you are stating would be abhorable at 15 or 50. The CHILD (to be) has the RIGHT to know both of its parents. The FATHER (to be) has the RIGHT to know his child. Once the child is born, these rights kick in. If you DON'T want the FATHER to have those rights, then get an abortion. But don't just plan on running away and depriving those two people of their rights! <spit!>