Adoption of Child I have raised

[epic1231]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

I am looking for information and how the process works. My ex-wife had a daughter when we met who was 4 months old. Bio dad is on birth certificate. He left and in 13 years has only had 2 visits with her both in the first 4 months of life. I have raised her all these years and even though we divorced, I paid child support for her and have it documented. I recently have been given custody of both her and my own daughter by my ex wife and DYFS. No ability to contact or locate bio dad to ask him to sign over his rights to me. I am remarried and would like to adopt her and legally change her last name for birth certificate issues etc.

She has been raised with my last name and it is all she knows.

How do I go through this process, do I need a lawyer or can I go to the courthouse and fill out paperwork?

Thanks in advance!

 

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

I am looking for information and how the process works. My ex-wife had a daughter when we met who was 4 months old. Bio dad is on birth certificate. He left and in 13 years has only had 2 visits with her both in the first 4 months of life. I have raised her all these years and even though we divorced, I paid child support for her and have it documented. I recently have been given custody of both her and my own daughter by my ex wife and DYFS. No ability to contact or locate bio dad to ask him to sign over his rights to me. I am remarried and would like to adopt her and legally change her last name for birth certificate issues etc.

She has been raised with my last name and it is all she knows.

How do I go through this process, do I need a lawyer or can I go to the courthouse and fill out paperwork?

Thanks in advance!

You will need an attorney.

 

[epic1231]

You will need an attorney.

thank you!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

I am looking for information and how the process works. My ex-wife had a daughter when we met who was 4 months old. Bio dad is on birth certificate. He left and in 13 years has only had 2 visits with her both in the first 4 months of life. I have raised her all these years and even though we divorced, I paid child support for her and have it documented. I recently have been given custody of both her and my own daughter by my ex wife and DYFS. No ability to contact or locate bio dad to ask him to sign over his rights to me. I am remarried and would like to adopt her and legally change her last name for birth certificate issues etc.

She has been raised with my last name and it is all she knows.

How do I go through this process, do I need a lawyer or can I go to the courthouse and fill out paperwork?

Thanks in advance!

I agree that you will need an attorney, however, its possible that an adoption is not something you can do at this point because you are divorced from mom. In most states you would have to adopt as a single parent which would sever mom's parental rights as well as the biological father's parental rights. If mom objects to having her parental rights severed, it very well may not happen.

Now, should DYFS decide to terminate mom's parental rights because she doesn't follow through with her case plan, that could be a different story. So, discuss things fully and openly with an adoption attorney to see if what you want to do is even possible at this time.

 

[latigo]

. . . . . . In “most states” you would have to adopt as a single parent (?) . . . . . .

With all the respect due and owing you, what is that statement supposed to mean?

An adoption is for the purpose of creating a parent/child relationship. Are you suggesting that in "most states” you have to be a parent in order to become one? And that a married person cannot adopt? Geez!

As if it were to have blessed thing to do with New Jersey’s adoptions laws (N.J.S.A. 9.3-38 et seq.), which it doesn’t and which you have obviously never read, THE OP IS A SINGLE PARENT!

I recently have been given custody of . . . my own daughter . .

 

[ecmst12]

A married person can do a step parent adoption without terminating the rights of the parent they are married to, but OP is not married to this child's mother anymore, so that option is no longer available to him.

 

[stealth2]

With all the respect due and owing you, what is that statement supposed to mean?

An adoption is for the purpose of creating a parent/child relationship. Are you suggesting that in "most states” you have to be a parent in order to become one? And that a married person cannot adopt? Geez!

As if it were to have blessed thing to do with New Jersey’s adoptions laws (N.J.S.A. 9.3-38 et seq.), which it doesn’t and which you have obviously never read, THE OP IS A SINGLE PARENT!

With all due respect - are you stupid?

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

I am looking for information and how the process works. My ex-wife had a daughter when we met who was 4 months old. Bio dad is on birth certificate. He left and in 13 years has only had 2 visits with her both in the first 4 months of life. I have raised her all these years and even though we divorced, I paid child support for her and have it documented. I recently have been given custody of both her and my own daughter by my ex wife and DYFS. No ability to contact or locate bio dad to ask him to sign over his rights to me. I am remarried and would like to adopt her and legally change her last name for birth certificate issues etc.

She has been raised with my last name and it is all she knows.

How do I go through this process, do I need a lawyer or can I go to the courthouse and fill out paperwork?

Thanks in advance!

You've got two legal parents--one of whom is you ex-wife--and DYFS in the middle of this situation. You (outside of the permission mom has given you, and the status DYFS has conferred) are [unfortunately] a legal stranger. You've got some big hurdles to overcome.
Like TheGeekess stated, you need an attorney. And most likely Mom's consent. Definitely DYFS's. Possibly Dad's.

 

[Lixim]

When I was adopted we absolutely had to have my biological father terminate his rights, which was pretty difficult even though he saw me twice in a period of 14 years. Have you tried a private investigator to find the biological father? I would definitely find a great attorney. If you can prove the mother has nothing to do with the child as well as the biological father then hopefully they will give you the right to adopt. I'd just like to say thank you though. So many children are brought into this world with deadbeat parents and some guys just really step in and make the child feel wanted.