What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ky. I'm getting ready to adopt my stepdaughter who is 9. Father has terminated rights and we've already changed her name. I've been with them since she was almost 2. She knows nothing of him and only knows me as dad and I would love to keep it that way. What are the chances that they will bring his name up or mention anything about him during this process? She is absolutely clueless to the situation.
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Adoption
- Thread starter 6sierra0
- Start date
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LdiJ
Senior Member
I think that you are making a huge mistake by trying to hide this whole thing from the child. Somebody, somewhere is going to spill the bean and then you will have a very angry child (or adult) on your hands. The biological father could even contact her as an adult.
We had someone not too long ago on one of these forums whose adult child refused to even speak to them because they had been contacted by the biological father and fed a bunch of lies.
CTU
Meddlesome Priestess
I can only mirror this advice.
OP, there is no law preventing someone from telling her the truth, and you cannot get a restraining order keeping someone from telling her the truth. You need to tell her, and you need to tell her now. Please don't come back with "but we want to wait till she's older, and she can understand". Frankly, that's a load of horse manure. She'll react far worse when she realizes as a teen or adult that the two people she trusts most in the world have lied to her for virtually her entire life.
Do the right thing here.
Ohiogal
Queen Bee
How dare you have lied to this child. HOW DARE YOU. This is pathetic. I refuse to help a liar. Hire an attorney.
Ohiogal
Queen Bee
What is interesting is this idiot wants to adopt his stepdaughter and yet not let her know that he is not her real father. Go figure that. Is his stepdaughter that stupid that she does not know what adoption is? Oh and during a home study the caseworker or GAL very well may ask the child how she feels about being adopted by her step father.... This man's house of lies is going to collapse.
CTU
Meddlesome Priestess
Yeah, she's 9 - there's at least a decent chance that they'll want to talk with the child.
Le sigh.