Adult adoptee & just lost my bmom

[Warbonnet]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Mi
My (birthmom) mom and I have been on again off again for 20 yrs, she would always pull back and I would wait patiently for her to come around again. She found me on FB a few yrs back again, we have been close ever since. She raised my sister that's 10 yrs younger, & always told me how it was so strange that the child she raised is nothing like her and I was just like her. My sister got mad at our mom over a yr ago, they never got along so it seemed no big deal but she meant it. She said awful things to our mom (realize heard 1 side) and never spoke again, then she blocked me on FB for no reason between us. Listening to my mom go thru the grieving process for a long time she finally came to the end and was mad at her for not appreciating the master degree mom helped her to get. And she was done w my sister, she gave my sister plenty of time to come back & no contact. My sister lives in TX.
Well my mom died unexpectedly a few days ago, now I guess I'm not next of kin and she is, she had the funeral planned the day we found out that she died. I don't get it, I don't know my role, my mom had only me listed as her daughter on FB means nothing I know but makes me feel good.
What is my role, I was the one she was close to & had a relationship with.
I'm devastated she was my everything she was my answers to all my questions in life & I loved every moment w her & listening to her and laughing w her, whereas the opposite is true for my sister who is in charge of everything.:'( My sister doesn't even have a clue how mom was wearing her hair these days or anything.
Should I go to the rest of the "planning" at the funeral home the day before the funeral that they have scheduled?? The funeral home said I couldn't come & see her bc the director would be out all weekend... what?!?!
If mom finally got to her will, which she passed at 67 & that's supposed to be 'natural causes' I want answers why, what took her life- my sister doesn't care ..but if she did the will who else would have a copy bc if it doesn't suit sister I could see it disappearing.
Thank u I'm desperate & none of my friends have been here before they don't know what I'm going they really

 

[Shadowbunny]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Mi
My (birthmom) mom and I have been on again off again for 20 yrs, she would always pull back and I would wait patiently for her to come around again. She found me on FB a few yrs back again, we have been close ever since. She raised my sister that's 10 yrs younger, & always told me how it was so strange that the child she raised is nothing like her and I was just like her. My sister got mad at our mom over a yr ago, they never got along so it seemed no big deal but she meant it. She said awful things to our mom (realize heard 1 side) and never spoke again, then she blocked me on FB for no reason between us. Listening to my mom go thru the grieving process for a long time she finally came to the end and was mad at her for not appreciating the master degree mom helped her to get. And she was done w my sister, she gave my sister plenty of time to come back & no contact. My sister lives in TX.
Well my mom died unexpectedly a few days ago, now I guess I'm not next of kin and she is, she had the funeral planned the day we found out that she died. I don't get it, I don't know my role, my mom had only me listed as her daughter on FB means nothing I know but makes me feel good.
What is my role, I was the one she was close to & had a relationship with.
I'm devastated she was my everything she was my answers to all my questions in life & I loved every moment w her & listening to her and laughing w her, whereas the opposite is true for my sister who is in charge of everything.:'( My sister doesn't even have a clue how mom was wearing her hair these days or anything.
Should I go to the rest of the "planning" at the funeral home the day before the funeral that they have scheduled?? The funeral home said I couldn't come & see her bc the director would be out all weekend... what?!?!
If mom finally got to her will, which she passed at 67 & that's supposed to be 'natural causes' I want answers why, what took her life- my sister doesn't care ..but if she did the will who else would have a copy bc if it doesn't suit sister I could see it disappearing.
Thank u I'm desperate & none of my friends have been here before they don't know what I'm going they really

I'm sorry for your loss; it's hard to lose a parent.

Did you have a legal question?

 

[adjusterjack]

if she did the will who else would have a copy bc if it doesn't suit sister I could see it disappearing.

You have no "legal" standing for anything.

If your birth mom left a will only an original would count, not a copy.

If you were left a bequest and your sister destroyed the will (it happens) then sister would inherit under intestacy.

Start by checking with the county probate court where your birth mom died and see if a probate case has been opened. If it has, it's public record and you can go to the court and see if the will has been filed.

If probate was opened under intestacy then, for any "legal" issues, you are done.

For anything personal you're at the mercy of your sister.

 

[Warbonnet]

Thank you that is what I thought, how do people do wills? Does anyone else have a legal copy or so u just motorized them when u do them or write it down and file it with no legalities attached until someone find it? Thanks for your answers it helps

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Mi
My (birthmom) mom and I have been on again off again for 20 yrs, she would always pull back and I would wait patiently for her to come around again. She found me on FB a few yrs back again, we have been close ever since. She raised my sister that's 10 yrs younger, & always told me how it was so strange that the child she raised is nothing like her and I was just like her. My sister got mad at our mom over a yr ago, they never got along so it seemed no big deal but she meant it. She said awful things to our mom (realize heard 1 side) and never spoke again, then she blocked me on FB for no reason between us. Listening to my mom go thru the grieving process for a long time she finally came to the end and was mad at her for not appreciating the master degree mom helped her to get. And she was done w my sister, she gave my sister plenty of time to come back & no contact. My sister lives in TX.
Well my mom died unexpectedly a few days ago, now I guess I'm not next of kin and she is, she had the funeral planned the day we found out that she died. I don't get it, I don't know my role, my mom had only me listed as her daughter on FB means nothing I know but makes me feel good.
What is my role, I was the one she was close to & had a relationship with.
I'm devastated she was my everything she was my answers to all my questions in life & I loved every moment w her & listening to her and laughing w her, whereas the opposite is true for my sister who is in charge of everything.:'( My sister doesn't even have a clue how mom was wearing her hair these days or anything.
Should I go to the rest of the "planning" at the funeral home the day before the funeral that they have scheduled?? The funeral home said I couldn't come & see her bc the director would be out all weekend... what?!?!
If mom finally got to her will, which she passed at 67 & that's supposed to be 'natural causes' I want answers why, what took her life- my sister doesn't care ..but if she did the will who else would have a copy bc if it doesn't suit sister I could see it disappearing.
Thank u I'm desperate & none of my friends have been here before they don't know what I'm going they really

The woman was not your mother. You were adopted. Hence, legally she is nothing to you. You have no rights to "plan" the funeral, talk to the director or know why she died. You want answers? Doesn't matter. You are not entitled to them.