advice please

[waitinMd]

What is the name of your state? Md

My ex was a no show in court this past week. I am ordered to provide additional visitation at her mothers residence on Monday. My ex is kicked out of her mothers house and they are fighting. Yesterday at supervised visitation, my ex said she is not speaking to her mother, and her mother has not told her that there will be visitation Monday.

My ex's mother is ordered to drive since my ex wrecked 3 vehicles. In court when the judge decided that visitation would take place at the mothers residence, he made the following stipulations:

My ex's mother and grandmother get hair follicle tested
One of the two have to be in attendance
Neither of the two violent bf's are allowed at the visitation (my ex's and her mothers bf who lives at the residence)
The can't leave the residence

My problem is twofold:
My ex's hair follicle test came back after our court hearing positive for Opiates and Oxycotin
My ex will not be supervised all day tomorrow because her mother has to 'run out'; the grandmother has to work

When the order was written the stipulations from the judge were not put in the order. I have asked that the order be modified but my atty said 'it is understood'.

Also, my atty wrote the judge a letter asking visitation be canceled until a hearing because of the new posititive drug tests. I was under the impression that a motion was submitted for the visitation to be canceled and a request for an emergency hearing. So far we have not heard anything. I'm not sure if a letter is better than a motion?

How can I get the order modified to reflect the stipulations from the judge?

 

[LdiJ]

You might be able to safely deny visitation due to the positive drug test, but it might be wiser to at least offer visitation that is supervised by you or your parents. That would lessen your risk.

 

[profmum]

A letter is not better than a motion, there should be nothing "understood" in an order (so the judge's stipulations were not included in the existing motion?), what you need to do is to amend the existing order to reflect verbatim what the judge's stipulations were. Of course that is not going to be completed in time for the children's Monday's visitation, so I am not sure what you do about Monday, given your ex will be alone and her drug test came back positive. If it were me, I would insist on the grandmother being there as per the judge's stipulation, and if she can't then you probably have a legitimate reason for cancelling visitation, but your attny should know better than to expect these very specific stipulations from being omitted in a court order!

Why are you " under the impression that a motion was submitted for the visitation to be canceled and a request for an emergency hearing".. you should know if this happened or not??

 

[waitinMd]

My lawyer said I can't deny visitation until the judge signs an order vacating the visitation due to the positive drug test.

My problem is the order does not specify what has been agreed to in court. It being 'understood' is not acceptable when you are dealing with my ex.

 

[waitinMd]

Why are you " under the impression that a motion was submitted for the visitation to be canceled and a request for an emergency hearing".. you should know if this happened or not??

My lawyer called me and said, "I filed a motion asking to suspend visitation until a hearing could be scheduled"

when I got the letter in the mail, his secretary said that he would call me. I left a message stating I was under the impression a motion was filed. He did not call me back.

Can I file a motion ex parte?

 

[LdiJ]

My lawyer called me and said, "I filed a motion asking to suspend visitation until a hearing could be scheduled"

when I got the letter in the mail, his secretary said that he would call me. I left a message stating I was under the impression a motion was filed. He did not call me back.

Can I file a motion ex parte?

You have an attorney, you need to go through your attorney.

 

[waitinMd]

You have an attorney, you need to go through your attorney.

So if he is not going to file a motion to modify the existing order I need to have him withdraw.

Can he file a new motion even though he wrote a letter for vacating the visitation.

 

[profmum]

So if he is not going to file a motion to modify the existing order I need to have him withdraw.


I thought your attorney said he did file an emergency motion to suspend visitation? Why a hearing if all that need to be done is amend the existing order? Frankly, these are serious issues and your attny does not sound like he really on top of things. It is your choice if you want to fire him, but I would if is he not going to amend the order.. which for the life of me I can't understand why!!!

Can he file a new motion even though he wrote a letter for vacating the visitation.

Did he write a letter, file a motion for suspending the visitation or both?, if he did both (no idea why good a letter is supposed to do??), or the latter, then he probably needs to file a motion to set aside the existing CO with the reasons being it was not complete and submit an amended CO. You really need to know what he is doing.
As for the visitation, supervised visitation, is probably the best and safest option for the children and one that will least likely get you into trouble. There are agencies that will do this for you.. ie send a chaperone..

 

[CJane]

he made the following stipulations:

My ex's mother and grandmother get hair follicle tested
One of the two have to be in attendance
Neither of the two violent bf's are allowed at the visitation (my ex's and her mothers bf who lives at the residence)
The can't leave the residence

When the order was written the stipulations from the judge were not put in the order.

Wait. Those stipulations aren't actually in the ORDER - they were only discussed in the court room?

And you've been attempting to withhold visitation based on those stipulations?

You HAVE TO follow the order. If it says only that visitation is to take place at X location, then that's where you have to have the child during the proscribed times. You don't get to include 'stipulations' that aren't in the order.

 

[waitinMd]

I am not withholding visitation. I still have to take my child tomorrow. I have asked that the stipulations be put in the order, and my atty keeps saying they are 'understood between the two parties'.

I don't agree. I want them in black and white. Am I wrong to ask for that?

As far as the letter goes, I was told it was a motion. Can he still file a motion even though he wrote a letter?

 

[CJane]

I am not withholding visitation. I still have to take my child tomorrow. I have asked that the stipulations be put in the order, and my atty keeps saying they are 'understood between the two parties'.

I don't agree. I want them in black and white. Am I wrong to ask for that?

No you're not wrong for asking, but until they are, it's like they don't exist.

As far as the letter goes, I was told it was a motion. Can he still file a motion even though he wrote a letter?

Yes.

My advice to you for a little while is to STOP second guessing everything your attorney does. You're making yourself crazy.

 

[waitinMd]

Thank you, I am going over to his office at 8:30am on Monday morning, if I can't catch him I am making an appointment.

If he doesn't make the changes I request I am asking him to withdraw. This is not the first time that he did not add things to the court order. I have had 15 court hearings since August of 2005. I think that is excessive!!!

We have trial in a few months, and there is all kinds of drama going on with her family, her mother is calling me.... it's a plethora of other problems...

I am driving myself crzy.... u r right..

once again, thank you for help.

 

[CJane]

Thank you, I am going over to his office at 8:30am on Monday morning, if I can't catch him I am making an appointment.

If he doesn't make the changes I request I am asking him to withdraw. This is not the first time that he did not add things to the court order. I have had 15 court hearings since August of 2005. I think that is excessive!!!

He can't just add things. He has to FILE to AMEND the order. That takes a hearing.

Are you being allowed to SEE the proposed orders before they go before the judge for signing?

We have trial in a few months, and there is all kinds of drama going on with her family, her mother is calling me.... it's a plethora of other problems...

And unfortunately, court is not going to stop any of that. I really hope things work out for you and that it all settles down. But the courts can't make Mom or her family be less crazy-making.

 

[waitinMd]

Yes I saw the order, and I disagreed with it, asking him to add the stipulations. He signed it on my behalf anyway without adding the stipulations. So I ask to amend the order, and to file a motion to stop visitation. Hopefully the judge will hear both issues at the hearing concerning the positive drug test.

My neighbors actually had my lawyer and had to file a grievance against him because he didn't file the motions they asked him to file. I just found this out last week...

I know the court can't do anything about crazy!

 

[profmum]

He can't just add things. He has to FILE to AMEND the order. That takes a hearing.

Are you being allowed to SEE the proposed orders before they go before the judge for signing?

This is key.. you need to be able to see those before they get sent to the judge for ratification, you may have to order court transcripts to get the amendement (to show this is what the judge said) and that could take time as wel