What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky
Hey, guys I had a few questions regarding establishing paternity/custody and any advice would be awesome. It's a little long, and I'm sorry about that. But please bear with me.
A little background, me and my (ex)girlfriend have a one and a half year old son. I was with the mother when the child and was born and was there at his birth, I supported her through the entire time, her and my son have lived with me until the last few weeks.
On why I'm not on the birth certificate: Since me and her weren't married, I was only allowed one day off of work when my son was born, I signed the papers regarding the birth certificate before I left for work, but the next morning when I got off, My girlfriend said that the hospital had basically forced her to sign the birth certificate, and since the document had to be notorized and I was at work. That she just had to sign it by herself. She said the hospital said something about the certificate needed to be signed 3 days after he was born and no later. This didnt sound right at all, but she told me that we could just go to the health department after he was born and get it fixed. So I dropped it for the time being.
When we got home and everything started to settle down. She got a part time job, and started going to school. All things that I supported. But things with my son started, While I understand that she had less time and I work alot. She started leaving my son more and more at her mothers house. To the point where when my son was a year old he would only be home maybe 1 or 2 days a week, even though me and her were home everyday. Whenever I asked why he wasn't home, or if we could go get him or if I brought up me legally becoming my sons father. She would become extremely agitated, angry and even violent sometimes. After months of the situation only getting worse and her showing no sign of it changing, I told her that my son had to come home and we had to start taking steps to give me rights, so that I didn't have to worry about him being left at her mothers anymore. Or that she had to leave. We got into a big fight, where she didn't agree to either. She tried to pretend nothing happened the next day(my son still at her mothers) and I stood my ground, after a few more days of this. She left.
That was about a month ago, and in that time. I have seen my son once. And that was for about 15 minutes at a gas station by her mothers house. Almost everyday she says that she will bring him over, or let me see him. Not at my request btw she calls and offers which is what puzzles me the most. Only to not show up, and if she invites me to come out to see him. She waits until I'm out there and calls to say something came up and she can't do it today. So this Friday I went and filed a puntative father claim at the County Attorneys.
Another thing about my girlfriend, She has some pretty bad emotional problems. Most people that dont know her well think she is crazy, but I know she isn't and she isn't bad person. She just has a very hard time controlling her moods and her anger, which make her do some pretty outrageous things. About a month before we found out she was pregnant she was admitted to a adult mental health facility(at the suggestion of the police referring to her 911 call) for two weeks after she said she was going to kill herself because I was breaking up with her(over her not getting help). They put her back on her medications and after a week or so she became stable again and after another week, they released her with the understanding that she was to begin induction at an outpatient treatment center the day after she was released, which she didn't do. So after a few days she was right back to the way she was before. She wont go get help because she says she isn't crazy, and that if she goes to a psychiatrist people will think she is a crazy.
Another thing too, She has told me that her step father molested her when she was 11. I felt really bad for her. But just like her moods, her feelings toward her stepfather seemed to go from such deep hatred then to good and happy feelings in just a fraction of a second. I dont want to get into because its a very long story. But no-one in her family seems to believe her which I thought was pretty cold at first, but I noticed that she shares this very private and horrible expierence to people that she has only just met. I believed her until my son was being left over at this supposed molesters house for a week at a time.
About me, my ex girlfriend and her mother seem to think that since I'm in a drug rehab suboxone program that I wont even get supervised visits. I've been in this program for almost two years, I've only failed two drug tests(at the beginning of the treatment, clean since then and I get tested once every week or every other week.) My counselor said they will give me proof of that if I need it, and also notes on my progress if I need it. I've also kept the same job for almost 2 years and have a good record there. Everyone tells me that this should be a credit to me, for getting my life in order but I'm still kind of scared.
Ok so now that the background is done and you hopefully have an idea of the situation here are a few questions.
What can I expect? Is joint custody realistic? I know that I will have to pay for his and her bills for his birth and I dont care about that or even paying support just as long as I can see him regularly.
I dont want to take my son away from my girlfriend at all. But with what she says about her step father even though I'm not sure if its true, and how volatile her and her mothers relationship is would I be far out of line voicing my concern about him staying there?
Is me being in a rehab program a problem even though I'm doing great in it. Is that going to look bad on me? Does that usually affect the judgement?
I was on her release of information for the mental hospital she stayed at and I have her summaries and diagnoses and things like that. Could I use this stuff? I dont really want to, because I think that they might take him away from her completely, but then I think it might be for the best if they make her get help. Because she really is a good person and I think her problems aren't something she can control.
Should I get a lawyer?
How long does this process take? Is it really long and drug out like other court proceedings?
You hear such horrible stories about Family Court, and I just know nothing about this system or what I can expect to happen or how I need to handle it. Thank you for any advice you can give me.
(srry bout edit had to take out real names.)
Hey, guys I had a few questions regarding establishing paternity/custody and any advice would be awesome. It's a little long, and I'm sorry about that. But please bear with me.
A little background, me and my (ex)girlfriend have a one and a half year old son. I was with the mother when the child and was born and was there at his birth, I supported her through the entire time, her and my son have lived with me until the last few weeks.
On why I'm not on the birth certificate: Since me and her weren't married, I was only allowed one day off of work when my son was born, I signed the papers regarding the birth certificate before I left for work, but the next morning when I got off, My girlfriend said that the hospital had basically forced her to sign the birth certificate, and since the document had to be notorized and I was at work. That she just had to sign it by herself. She said the hospital said something about the certificate needed to be signed 3 days after he was born and no later. This didnt sound right at all, but she told me that we could just go to the health department after he was born and get it fixed. So I dropped it for the time being.
When we got home and everything started to settle down. She got a part time job, and started going to school. All things that I supported. But things with my son started, While I understand that she had less time and I work alot. She started leaving my son more and more at her mothers house. To the point where when my son was a year old he would only be home maybe 1 or 2 days a week, even though me and her were home everyday. Whenever I asked why he wasn't home, or if we could go get him or if I brought up me legally becoming my sons father. She would become extremely agitated, angry and even violent sometimes. After months of the situation only getting worse and her showing no sign of it changing, I told her that my son had to come home and we had to start taking steps to give me rights, so that I didn't have to worry about him being left at her mothers anymore. Or that she had to leave. We got into a big fight, where she didn't agree to either. She tried to pretend nothing happened the next day(my son still at her mothers) and I stood my ground, after a few more days of this. She left.
That was about a month ago, and in that time. I have seen my son once. And that was for about 15 minutes at a gas station by her mothers house. Almost everyday she says that she will bring him over, or let me see him. Not at my request btw she calls and offers which is what puzzles me the most. Only to not show up, and if she invites me to come out to see him. She waits until I'm out there and calls to say something came up and she can't do it today. So this Friday I went and filed a puntative father claim at the County Attorneys.
Another thing about my girlfriend, She has some pretty bad emotional problems. Most people that dont know her well think she is crazy, but I know she isn't and she isn't bad person. She just has a very hard time controlling her moods and her anger, which make her do some pretty outrageous things. About a month before we found out she was pregnant she was admitted to a adult mental health facility(at the suggestion of the police referring to her 911 call) for two weeks after she said she was going to kill herself because I was breaking up with her(over her not getting help). They put her back on her medications and after a week or so she became stable again and after another week, they released her with the understanding that she was to begin induction at an outpatient treatment center the day after she was released, which she didn't do. So after a few days she was right back to the way she was before. She wont go get help because she says she isn't crazy, and that if she goes to a psychiatrist people will think she is a crazy.
Another thing too, She has told me that her step father molested her when she was 11. I felt really bad for her. But just like her moods, her feelings toward her stepfather seemed to go from such deep hatred then to good and happy feelings in just a fraction of a second. I dont want to get into because its a very long story. But no-one in her family seems to believe her which I thought was pretty cold at first, but I noticed that she shares this very private and horrible expierence to people that she has only just met. I believed her until my son was being left over at this supposed molesters house for a week at a time.
About me, my ex girlfriend and her mother seem to think that since I'm in a drug rehab suboxone program that I wont even get supervised visits. I've been in this program for almost two years, I've only failed two drug tests(at the beginning of the treatment, clean since then and I get tested once every week or every other week.) My counselor said they will give me proof of that if I need it, and also notes on my progress if I need it. I've also kept the same job for almost 2 years and have a good record there. Everyone tells me that this should be a credit to me, for getting my life in order but I'm still kind of scared.
Ok so now that the background is done and you hopefully have an idea of the situation here are a few questions.
What can I expect? Is joint custody realistic? I know that I will have to pay for his and her bills for his birth and I dont care about that or even paying support just as long as I can see him regularly.
I dont want to take my son away from my girlfriend at all. But with what she says about her step father even though I'm not sure if its true, and how volatile her and her mothers relationship is would I be far out of line voicing my concern about him staying there?
Is me being in a rehab program a problem even though I'm doing great in it. Is that going to look bad on me? Does that usually affect the judgement?
I was on her release of information for the mental hospital she stayed at and I have her summaries and diagnoses and things like that. Could I use this stuff? I dont really want to, because I think that they might take him away from her completely, but then I think it might be for the best if they make her get help. Because she really is a good person and I think her problems aren't something she can control.
Should I get a lawyer?
How long does this process take? Is it really long and drug out like other court proceedings?
You hear such horrible stories about Family Court, and I just know nothing about this system or what I can expect to happen or how I need to handle it. Thank you for any advice you can give me.
(srry bout edit had to take out real names.)
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