after divorced, can I go back for permanent support?

[marraine]

During marriage, I was sick for over a year, and the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I was diagnosed with everything from sinus problems to migraines, to mental stress. I divorced him because he couldn't handle the situation, and we also had three small children, and he refused to help in any way with anything. I had to say that nothing was wrong with my health, because I had no real diagnosis yet. I thought that whatever it was would probably go away. I agreed to spousal support that is being cut in half as of this month, and then ends after the next year, because of this misunderstanding. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and my health has continually gotten worse. But the way my ex's attorney had the decree written was that I could not go back and have it changed for any reason (I'm wondering if they knew that I probably was sicker than I thought). I am unable to get social security disability, because I did not make enough money doing child care to pay into it. My childcare parents have all quit on me because my illness has gotten so bad. We were married for ten years. We went together probably five years before that. I had devoted my life to that person and raising the family. I became ill during our marriage, and now am suffering terribly. I actually need the spousal support in order to help pay to keep the children in their current lifestyle. I've been trying to buy a home in a nice area for them (so they can go to a good school), but may end up losing everything, because I am unemployable and cannot get any kind of disability. Is there a possibility of going to court and getting permanent spousal support, or is it too late for me? Thank you in advance for any responses. I'm feeling pretty lost at this time. Marraine.

 

[LegalBeagle]

Are you getting Child Support ?

 

[marraine]

permanent spousal support post-divorce

I currently receive $900 per month child support for three children, based on a less than $50,000 per year income. In 1998, my ex made around $200,000, because of a large bonus, and last year he remarried, and together, made over $80,000. I filed for more child support, but the DA's office here says it will take over six months for them to make a decision. In the meantime, I cannot survive on what I am receiving for child and spousal support, and being disabled. (My house pymt/txs are over $1,500 per mo.). Thanks for responding. Marraine.

 

[usmcfamily]

While I can certainly sympathize with your situation I think you need to realize that the new wife's income will in no way effect either your spousal support or the child support (referring to your statement "together made $80,000). So while the modification review my result in an increase don't expect it to include any amount based on what she is making -- the responsibility to support your children lies with yourself and your ex-husband......no new spouse either of you would be held accountable in the calculation.
While I understand wanting the best of all things for your family you need to realize that a nice home/good neighborhood are not what is necessary to raise happy healthy children and if you do have to make lifestyle adjustments based on a change of your income it isn't going to be the end of their world -- we would all love a big house, etc.....but even those of us married and in two-income families cannot have all we want but can still find ways to be happy with a little love! As the agreement was signed by you I suggest you start making the changes that will be necessary to live on the income you will be getting should the support end next year as it likely will -- by preparing now the change won't be so drastic and with a little planning may not be as horrible as yo seem to think.
The plain fact is you signed a legally binding agreement that set a schedule for your support to provide for you as you started a new life -- I doubt that he or his attorney had such sinister reasons for the inclusion of the "no increase for any reason" clause -- it is likely he was advised to include that by his attorney in case he had a rise in income to prevent you from being able to seek more spousal support out of it (remember it was his attorney's job to protect your ex's interest in this). The fact that your illness was diagnosed afterwards is unfortunate to say the least but does not negate the agreement you signed.
No one is questioning or belittling your devotion to your marriage or family but the marriage has ended and you are now in the unenviable position of starting over with the handicap of a disability - but there are programs, other than SSI, out there that can help you -- a good place to start getting the information you need is from your physician or local community action group as they can refer you to the resources you need.
Good luck and God Bless

 

[marraine]

continuing spousal support

I am not stupid. It may have taken me some time to realize that you could be wrong, and do some research myself, but I just got done reading the statutes of the state in which I am divorced, and it says that if there is a substantial change in circumstances, a party may file a motion with the court to seek a change in the decree. I'm sorry, but I will not stand down from this case. Thanks, but no thanks, for your advice.

 

[Ysabeau]

Be Nice to Samaritans

usmcfamily was kind enough to offer advice, and you go off ranting because the advice didn't fit what you wanted to hear. I hope you don't scare off too many who take the time to advise schmucks like us. I'm have less than ten days to appeal an order changing spousal support, and yet I have not had the good fortune to have anyone take the time to give me assistance.

BTW From all my research and my recent court hearing, spousal support determined by trial is modifiable at any time. However, if there is an agreement by both parties to NOT modify it, there may be a pretty long, fruitless battle ahead for you if you decide to do that. But, then again, with the right legal counsel, anything can be possible sometimes. Good luck in you endeavor.

Thanks usmcfamily for your service--even if it was not directed at me.