All parties joined in and going to mediation

[Iwant2bfree]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I was told this is standard in my state, but finding it hard to believe.

At the hrng last week ALL parties were joined (including my current father in law and his wife) who have NO relation to my child what so ever.

The Judge told my atty doesnt matter if they are related or not, all parties must mediate over custody/visitation.

How is this?! A parent who has NEVER had a legal problem in her life... never had to rely on anyone for $$$, nada! How is it that IM FORCED to mediate with these ppl over the rights of MY child?!

Now my poor child has to come to court with her Father and I to go over this. I truly cant believe the system to be honest.

 

[tornado88]

Why would your child have to go to court with you? RARELY do courts have the children involved. This is an adult matter.

Again, even though I know you have been told this before, DO NOT AGREE to anything! Absolutely nothing! Let the judge decide the case on its merits. Chances are in good that the only the grandparents will get any visitation is if you agree to it. So do as the DARE program teaches our children, just say "NO".

 

[Iwant2bfree]

We were told (and the paperwork confirmed) she must be present in case they wish to s/w her. So, obviously we will need to tell her why she is being dragged to the courthouse. (she is 12) so will know what is going on by that point.

I cant wrap my brain how both her father and I told the judge we dont want her visiting these ppl yet they were still joined.

Anyways, we still on saying NO to absolutely everything. Since I am dealing with a borderline personality mother though she has already requested a "long trial" on all issues. Now, if that is allowed I will really blow my stack!

 

[Hot Topic]

Don't tell her she's being "dragged" to the courthouse. It may make you feel better, but I guarantee it won't do anything for her.

 

[LdiJ]

We were told (and the paperwork confirmed) she must be present in case they wish to s/w her. So, obviously we will need to tell her why she is being dragged to the courthouse. (she is 12) so will know what is going on by that point.

I cant wrap my brain how both her father and I told the judge we dont want her visiting these ppl yet they were still joined.

Anyways, we still on saying NO to absolutely everything. Since I am dealing with a borderline personality mother though she has already requested a "long trial" on all issues. Now, if that is allowed I will really blow my stack!

Stay firm, stay strong and be very calmly articulate as to why you will not agree.

 

[liandrajade]

we need details to better help you who is suing and why? what is being claimed? i myself just got out of a grandparent suit and might be able to help you out a bit...im NOT a lawyer just another mom who got sued by her own mother...

 

[Iwant2bfree]

Hot Topic: I would never tell my kid Im dragging her to a court house.

liandrajade: In a nuthshell, my mother is a borderline personality. After years of chaos around her I asked her last summer to seek professional help. It was then that she began her campaign to destroy my home/family/marriage. She has called anyone/everyone that has ever known me and told them I am w/holding her grandkids from her for no reason, that she is devastated and simply that I have destroyed her entire life. No one wanted to hear it other then my CURRENT father in law and his wife.

My Mother and these other 2 have now filed a custody/visitation suit against me and my ex husband for my oldest child and a seperate grandparent visitation suit against me and my current husband for our youngest we had together. They arent claiming any abuse, misdoings, etc. They simply feel they are entitled to custody/visitation with my child. We went to a hearing last week on the oldest kid and they were all joined in... we now go to mediation in June then back to the courts in July for the outcome of that mediation. Frankly... Im appalled it has gotten this far. My atty feels they likely have no case but cant say for sure why they will NOT win. I dont get why Im fighting for custody of MY OWN CHILD when both her father and I agree we do NOT want any of them involved And, when 2 of the ppl involved have no relation at all to this child!

Anyways... its beyond frustrating. I dont get why parents who dont want a kid to be farmed out to others, who have never needed assistance financially from anyone, who has never been in trouble with the law, no drugs, drinking, nada has to fight for this. It makes me ill to be honest

 

[LdiJ]

Hot Topic: I would never tell my kid Im dragging her to a court house.

liandrajade: In a nuthshell, my mother is a borderline personality. After years of chaos around her I asked her last summer to seek professional help. It was then that she began her campaign to destroy my home/family/marriage. She has called anyone/everyone that has ever known me and told them I am w/holding her grandkids from her for no reason, that she is devastated and simply that I have destroyed her entire life. No one wanted to hear it other then my CURRENT father in law and his wife.

My Mother and these other 2 have now filed a custody/visitation suit against me and my ex husband for my oldest child and a seperate grandparent visitation suit against me and my current husband for our youngest we had together. They arent claiming any abuse, misdoings, etc. They simply feel they are entitled to custody/visitation with my child. We went to a hearing last week on the oldest kid and they were all joined in... we now go to mediation in June then back to the courts in July for the outcome of that mediation. Frankly... Im appalled it has gotten this far. My atty feels they likely have no case but cant say for sure why they will NOT win. I dont get why Im fighting for custody of MY OWN CHILD when both her father and I agree we do NOT want any of them involved And, when 2 of the ppl involved have no relation at all to this child!

Anyways... its beyond frustrating. I dont get why parents who dont want a kid to be farmed out to others, who have never needed assistance financially from anyone, who has never been in trouble with the law, no drugs, drinking, nada has to fight for this. It makes me ill to be honest

It is happening because there are laws on the books that give standing for grandparents to make these kinds of suits.

Therefore it forces parents to go through the process.

What I do not understand in your case however, is that your current inlaws do not have standing regarding your older child, so I do not understand why they are enjoined in THAT suit. They also do not have standing for your second child, because your second child is living in an intact family.

Somehow the info has not gotten to the judge properly.

 

[Iwant2bfree]

At the initial hearing last week my atty told the judge in court that these other 2 are NOT relatives of my child, but the judge flat out said it didnt matter... that because they petitioned a joinder upon my prior divorce they were automatically joined then sent to mediation. (Hence, why I asked in another thread about getting another atty as well... I just dont get why this is going this far)...

As for my youngest I found out yesterday we go to a hearing in late June on that one. I was told its HIGHLY unlikely they will get any further beyond that hearing... but honestly at this rate and how the other case is going I truly dont believe what anyone is saying on these matters.