Allocating away my pay...

[tuffbrk]

What is the name of your state? NJ. Filed for a divorce, spouse stopped working and stopped contributing towards support of our 2 sons. He remains in the home as a co-owner but is not a party to the mortgage repayment obligation (he uses living room as his room). He was diagnosed with hepatitis and as he was covered on my medical plan, I withdrew my motion at his request so that he could continue to use the insurance for the drugs needed. I did so knowing he would tell our sons how I deprived him of his medication. Once he completed the medication required, I re-filed. NOW he needs a liver transplant. In the meantime, I haven't seen a dime from him although he worked under the table. So - presumably, I am going to wind up having to pay him alimony. My ? is how much of my monthly income is eligible to be allocated to him? Do you suppose the judge takes into account the fact that I'm fully supporting both of our boys, one of whom I also assist with college tuition? I also pay all of the household bills and utilities. I'm making it but stress over car insurance premiums, car maintenance - I desperately need tires for my car, tuition assistance, etc. so I just don't know how I'm going to be able to afford supporting him on top of it - thoughts would be appreciated

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? NJ. Filed for a divorce, spouse stopped working and stopped contributing towards support of our 2 sons. He remains in the home as a co-owner but is not a party to the mortgage repayment obligation (he uses living room as his room). He was diagnosed with hepatitis and as he was covered on my medical plan, I withdrew my motion at his request so that he could continue to use the insurance for the drugs needed. I did so knowing he would tell our sons how I deprived him of his medication. Once he completed the medication required, I re-filed. NOW he needs a liver transplant. In the meantime, I haven't seen a dime from him although he worked under the table. So - presumably, I am going to wind up having to pay him alimony. My ? is how much of my monthly income is eligible to be allocated to him? Do you suppose the judge takes into account the fact that I'm fully supporting both of our boys, one of whom I also assist with college tuition? I also pay all of the household bills and utilities. I'm making it but stress over car insurance premiums, car maintenance - I desperately need tires for my car, tuition assistance, etc. so I just don't know how I'm going to be able to afford supporting him on top of it - thoughts would be appreciated

If he needs a liver transplant it might be fiscally wiser, and kinder to simply stay married until the heath issues are handled.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? NJ. Filed for a divorce, spouse stopped working and stopped contributing towards support of our 2 sons. He remains in the home as a co-owner but is not a party to the mortgage repayment obligation (he uses living room as his room).

Who put him on the deed though not on the mortgage? As a coowner he has a right to be in the house without court orders to the contrary.

He was diagnosed with hepatitis and as he was covered on my medical plan, I withdrew my motion at his request so that he could continue to use the insurance for the drugs needed. I did so knowing he would tell our sons how I deprived him of his medication.

That was nice of you.

Once he completed the medication required, I re-filed. NOW he needs a liver transplant

OKay. So now what? You going to keep him on your insurance now?

In the meantime, I haven't seen a dime from him although he worked under the table.

As a spouse you are legally obligated to support your spouse.

So - presumably, I am going to wind up having to pay him alimony.

Why do you presume that? You probably will have to depending on income disparities. Has he applied for disability?

My ? is how much of my monthly income is eligible to be allocated to him?

How much discretionary income do you have? After mortgage, food, and transportation and utilities.

Do you suppose the judge takes into account the fact that I'm fully supporting both of our boys, one of whom I also assist with college tuition?

the child who is going to college is legally an adult. Therefore he can get student loans and such.

I also pay all of the household bills and utilities. I'm making it but stress over car insurance premiums, car maintenance - I desperately need tires for my car, tuition assistance, etc.

Tuition assistance is your adult son's responsibility.

so I just don't know how I'm going to be able to afford supporting him on top of it - thoughts would be appreciated

How do you support him now?

 

[tuffbrk]

allocating away my pay

Let's see - he hasn't filed taxes since '93. When we refinanced the mortgage in '94, he didn't have any P & L's so his name came off of the promissory note. He deserves to be co-owner, until I filed for divorcein 2005 he had contributed to the monthly expenses. Presumably, as he's claiming no income (in 2005 he started to invoice under his own name without the LLC or INC designation) and I have W-2 reportable income, I'll be expected to pay alimony.
I had put away $18,000 for my son's college which was held in trust (dumb, dumb, dumb) by his grandmother as I was concerend the IRS or State of NJ would take the money - then when my son went to use it, his grandmother told him she had given it all to his father. So the kid was always told the $ was there for at least his first 2 years of college. He may be considered an adult, however he only works part time as he goes to college full time so it's not as if he's emancipated.
I wasn't being "nice" believe me. I struggled w/the decision. He is not a nice guy, he's not even a decent dad. He was already telling the boys that I wanted him to die and that I was going to take away the insurance for his medication. My younger son would not have understood that and I didn't want them to feel torn between us any more than they already do. It's a difficult situation made more difficult with the co-occupancy. We don't have a living room, typical family get together, barbecues, holidays, etc. have all been impacted as a result. I'm hoping that by the time this is finally over, it will be a relief to the kids when we sell the house as opposed to something negative.
Disposable income? I guess that's from the CIS...salary less expenses?

 

[tuffbrk]

allocating away my pay

Based on the CIS - I show $352 left over at the end of the month.

 

[tuffbrk]

allocating away my pay

Kinder? Please - I have a hasp lock on my bedroom door so I can sleep at night. He pops the door lock whne I'm at work and goes through my things. I've taken out all immportant documents and papers and keep them at work. He has kicked in both of my car doors after someone called to complain about his work vehicle which was subsequently towed and he presumed it was me, many of my posessions have been ruined, destroyed or just thrown out. I keep my pocketbook with me at all times as if he has the opportunity, he will take my cell phone, my car keys, and any cash in my wallet. Fun, fun, fun bringing up a basket of laundry with your purse on your shoulder. He has his brother's jeep, an unregistered, uninsured van (like 1970 something) in the driveway so I have to park on the street and haul the groceries in, etc. This is not a nice guy. He is a manipulator to the point that I truly believe he can easily be classified as anti-social personality disorder.

 

[Ohiogal]

Let's see - he hasn't filed taxes since '93. When we refinanced the mortgage in '94, he didn't have any P & L's so his name came off of the promissory note. He deserves to be co-owner, until I filed for divorcein 2005 he had contributed to the monthly expenses. Presumably, as he's claiming no income (in 2005 he started to invoice under his own name without the LLC or INC designation) and I have W-2 reportable income, I'll be expected to pay alimony.

Invoices are income. Hehas a sole proprietorship then. He earns an income. I invoice under my own name as an attorney and I still have to pay taxes.

I had put away $18,000 for my son's college which was held in trust (dumb, dumb, dumb) by his grandmother as I was concerend the IRS or State of NJ would take the money - then when my son went to use it, his grandmother told him she had given it all to his father.

So you file suit against grandma for breach of fiduciary duty if she was an actual trustee for a trust.

So the kid was always told the $ was there for at least his first 2 years of college. He may be considered an adult, however he only works part time as he goes to college full time so it's not as if he's emancipated.

But he is an adult and hence the college IS his responsibility and that is very likely how a court would see it.

I wasn't being "nice" believe me. I struggled w/the decision. He is not a nice guy, he's not even a decent dad. He was already telling the boys that I wanted him to die and that I was going to take away the insurance for his medication. My younger son would not have understood that and I didn't want them to feel torn between us any more than they already do.

Well file for divorce. Until the divorce is over you will be ordered to carry him on your health insurance.

It's a difficult situation made more difficult with the co-occupancy. We don't have a living room, typical family get together, barbecues, holidays, etc. have all been impacted as a result. I'm hoping that by the time this is finally over, it will be a relief to the kids when we sell the house as opposed to something negative.

How old is your youngest child?

Disposable income? I guess that's from the CIS...salary less expenses?

It is salary less rent/mortgage, car payment, groceries and utilities.

 

[tuffbrk]

Hi - not sure if I continued the thread correctly so my apologies if I didn't. Just wanted to give an update - The judge ruled on 6-28 on STBX's ridiculous application for pendente lite as well as the $38,300 he was looking for and it was all denied. Wound up with having to pay his unreimbursed medical costs and prescription costs. So - the decision was far better than I had anticipated although I have to try to come up with the $ for his o/s bills but at least I wasn't assigned to pay his other debts or have to allocate him $ for SS. Now I'm supposed to be working on a parenting plan and a "discovery" period has been allotted. So I guess I'll need to attempt to prove his activities in light of his continued insistence that he is disabled and unable to work...in the meantime- I wanted to thank you all for your help and Bali - I'm going to find some group that petitions against against SS as you recommended. I go to early settlement panel in September and fully expect to get slammed at that time. I'm guessing he was only denied since we're in the same residence and I'm already paying all costs and expenses for maintaining a home as well as CS for my kids - ok - kid since my 19 yr old doesn't seem to count in the eyes of the law!! Thanks again - I love reading this forum - I'm truly getting an education!

 

[Bali Hai]

Hi - not sure if I continued the thread correctly so my apologies if I didn't. Just wanted to give an update - The judge ruled on 6-28 on STBX's ridiculous application for pendente lite as well as the $38,300 he was looking for and it was all denied. Wound up with having to pay his unreimbursed medical costs and prescription costs. So - the decision was far better than I had anticipated although I have to try to come up with the $ for his o/s bills but at least I wasn't assigned to pay his other debts or have to allocate him $ for SS. Now I'm supposed to be working on a parenting plan and a "discovery" period has been allotted. So I guess I'll need to attempt to prove his activities in light of his continued insistence that he is disabled and unable to work...in the meantime- I wanted to thank you all for your help and Bali - I'm going to find some group that petitions against against SS as you recommended. I go to early settlement panel in September and fully expect to get slammed at that time. I'm guessing he was only denied since we're in the same residence and I'm already paying all costs and expenses for maintaining a home as well as CS for my kids - ok - kid since my 19 yr old doesn't seem to count in the eyes of the law!! Thanks again - I love reading this forum - I'm truly getting an education!

One has to seriously wonder if the judge would have ruled the same way if the roles were reversed. In any event I'm glad you've dodged a bullet for now.

 

[tuffbrk]

Only the judge would know!! I do believe it's because of everything that I'm paying for; he pays for nothing; his CIS didn't show a shortage and was not completed correctly (I don't think anyway - it's a horrific form to complete), he can't show any expenses other than the meds and prescriptions - which I have been ordered to pay anything unreimbursed. So maybe if he and his attorney paid attention to the paperwork as opposed to attempting to play on emotion it may have come out differently..I don't think you gain much sympathy when you don't even mention your kids, your motion has about 20 sentences each one starting with "she s/b ashamed..." and ithe content of your motion is - I want $, I want $, I want $...think they overplayed their hand....again - what do I know...I've been scr*wed over royally by my STBX, by my 1st attn'y, etc. so maybe I just got lucky this time around. As I said to my attn'y - glad we won the skirmish, I"m more concerned about the war...