Am I eligible for spousal support?

[cowgirlprincess]

What is the name of your state? Alabama

Hello, this is my first visit to this site. I am hoping someone can offer their opinion in my situation. I have an appointment to see an attorney, but not for another two weeks, and I am worried about things until then.

I dated a man for 5.5 years, we lived together for 5 years as a couple. He decided to leave me for someone he works with. During the relationship, actually shortly after he moved in, I became disabled. He promised to help me and did so, but now he has left me. He told me thru-out the relationship that we were the same as married. So, am I entitled to any alimony. We are in a state that recognizes common law marriages. Alabama only requires that 3 things be present to have a common law marriage. We met all three. Plus the time we lived together is longer than some marriages, and I was told by him that we were married in his mind and heart. I don't think verbal statements count, but what do you think?

I am disabled, I do work part time, but that is not enough to keep up my home. The entire 5 years he lived with me, he never paid rent or house insurance. I paid for groceries too. I used his truck and now have to have a car, that is why things are so hard now. The home is mine, and paid for, but do you think the state would make him pay some form of support for a period of time?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Mere cohabitation, for any length of time, is NOT an element of, nor does it constitute, "common law" marriage in Alabama.

You've never said the "magic" second requirement and, I rather doubt you can. Since you'll have a difficult, if not impossible, task of proving the second element, it looks like you'll have to move on with your life without him or his bank account.

What would you have done if he had never come into your life? That's right - - you would have somehow managed. So, now "manage" life without him.

Your situation is the PRIME reason why "common law" marriages should be abolished. They are outmoded, antiquated, and in today's society, completely useless. Difficult or impossible to prove, a common law marriage more often than not leaves one of the parties poor as the result of trying to prove there was ever a marriage at all.

Your situation is the PERFECT example of why that "piece of paper" is so important to one's protection for the future.

I hope you have a truck-load of money to prove that there was ever a marital relationship - - you're going to need it.

IAAL

 

[gowest]

IAAL...

I'm sure cowgirlprincess is confused by your response- although it certainly made perfect sense to "one who has been there". I agree that abolishing common-law marriage is the only way to end the confusion and misnomer that "7 years of living together" constitutes a legal marriage.

These are the 3 requirements the poster referred to for Alabama:
(1) capacity; (2) an agreement to be husband and wife; and (3) consummation of the marital relationship. The "magic" second requirement is ambiguous and leads people (mostly women) to believe they are married.

What the second requirement really means is: Did she go by his last name? Did he introduce her to others as "my wife"? Did they file income tax as: married filing jointly? Was she on his insurance at work? Did his family refer to her as their daughter-in-law? These are just some of the questions the courts will ask when deciding whether they were married.

Cowgirlprincess... unless you can answer yes to the above questions and have undisputed proof, then IAAL's advice to you may seem harsh- but it's true. As for the "truck-load" of money he spoke of: My lawyers quoted me $100,000 with, of course, no guarantees as to the outcome.

My advice: use the money you're no longer spending on groceries for him to buy a used car.

I wish the best for you...

 

[stealth2]

If you paid for the groceries, and apparently the house & insurance - just how has he been "taking care of you" for the past 5 years? And why do you think he's going to do so now that the two of you have split up?

 

[gooberitiz]

You should also add:

Did they have WILLS made out and named each other as spouses and named each other as exector/ix of their estate?

============================
-What the second requirement really means is: Did she go by his last name? Did he introduce
her to others as "my wife"? Did they file income tax as: married filing jointly? Was she on his
insurance at work? Did his family refer to her as their daughter-in-law? These are just some of
the questions the courts will ask when deciding whether they were married.

 

[gowest]

gooberitiz...

Having wills naming each other and naming one another as executor/executrix may help prove a common-law marriage, but I can tell you first hand that Wills alone (without the other items that the courts traditionally look at) are not proof enough.