Am I required to let her take him with out a long distance visitaiton plan

[sytech]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

TX

I gained custody in June 08 I have posted before. My sons mother is moving and she wants to take him out of the state for her summer visit. I let her know we didn't have a long distance visitation plan in our order that she could go to court to get one. That I wouldn't be allowing him to leave the state of Texas without an order stating that I needed to. I dont want her taking him across state lines and I would go to court but I dont have the money anymore to do so. Its not that I dont want him have his time with her for the summer I just want it in the order that way she doesn't keep him out of state with her. She also requested a passport for our son. I said no way again that she needed to get an order telling me to do it. She has been an irresponsible parent. Now I know I am not parent of the year and since I gained custody I am learning alot as a parent and as a father. Our son was not getting to school on time when he went that is. He missed 28 days and was tardy 26 days. He was up at all hours of the night during the school year causing him and her not to get up in the morning. Our son is now 9.She also basically gave custody of her younger son to his father in January. I just want to know if I can do this legally. Again she has known about this move since March and at that time I let her know she needed to file to get the order changed and she has not. I realize that our son needs to have a relationship with her but I want to make sure that everything is on paper. I dont have the money to do it at this time so I have let her know she needs to. Do we have anyother recourse? other than going to court.She wants to come in one week a month and wants our son to stay with her at her moms which is about 1 hour away. This is the visitation plan she want which I find unacceptable considering her history with getting him to school. any ideas would be great.

She has been filling our sons head with ideas that he doesn't have to listen to my wife or I because he will get to choose one day and he will get to live with her. Just this week I found out that our son has been watching pg-13 movies like 'Drag me to hell'. I am just tired of her poor choices. She doesn't get him for her weekday visits this past weekend she forgot it was her weekend. Now I know she doesn't have to visit him that is her right but she tells him its because we dont let him. I am at the end of the rope and sometimes I do really want to be an @#$& with her and maybe thats what it is now I just dont want to work with her anymore. I know I know It slept with her I made that choice. I guess I just need someone to knock some sense into me so I can think this out clearly. So I guess have at it.

 

[Ohiogal]

Before I go any further:
https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/first-time-poster-468001.html


Comment. Now.
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

TX

I gained custody in June 08 I have posted before. My sons mother is moving and she wants to take him out of the state for her summer visit. I let her know we didn't have a long distance visitation plan in our order that she could go to court to get one. That I wouldn't be allowing him to leave the state of Texas without an order stating that I needed to. I dont want her taking him across state lines and I would go to court but I dont have the money anymore to do so. Its not that I dont want him have his time with her for the summer I just want it in the order that way she doesn't keep him out of state with her. She also requested a passport for our son. I said no way again that she needed to get an order telling me to do it. She has been an irresponsible parent. Now I know I am not parent of the year and since I gained custody I am learning alot as a parent and as a father. Our son was not getting to school on time when he went that is. He missed 28 days and was tardy 26 days. He was up at all hours of the night during the school year causing him and her not to get up in the morning. Our son is now 9.She also basically gave custody of her younger son to his father in January. I just want to know if I can do this legally. Again she has known about this move since March and at that time I let her know she needed to file to get the order changed and she has not. I realize that our son needs to have a relationship with her but I want to make sure that everything is on paper. I dont have the money to do it at this time so I have let her know she needs to. Do we have anyother recourse? other than going to court.She wants to come in one week a month and wants our son to stay with her at her moms which is about 1 hour away. This is the visitation plan she want which I find unacceptable considering her history with getting him to school. any ideas would be great.
She has been filling our sons head with ideas that he doesn't have to listen to my wife or I because he will get to choose one day and he will get to live with her. Just this week I found out that our son has been watching pg-13 movies like 'Drag me to hell'. I am just tired of her poor choices. She doesn't get him for her weekday visits this past weekend she forgot it was her weekend. Now I know she doesn't have to visit him that is her right but she tells him its because we dont let him. I am at the end of the rope and sometimes I do really want to be an @#$& with her and maybe thats what it is now I just dont want to work with her anymore. I know I know It slept with her I made that choice. I guess I just need someone to knock some sense into me so I can think this out clearly. So I guess have at it.

TRUTH NOW. Posting from both sides?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Google "long distance parenting plan" and find something that you both can live with. You can file a stipulated agreements with the court if you both agree.

Otherwise, Texas has a "I'm over 100 miles from the other parent" plan and follow that.

 

[sytech]

Actually no

I have been posting here for a while. Actually since after I gained custody. Ha but after reading that. Its very rare that I actually have time to read anyone else's posts but my own. when I started posting here I let her know to come to this website. Never in a million years did I beleive she would do it and actually post.I emailed a lawyer last night I am hoping to hear from him today. I have posted in the child support section for some time. But thanks for giving me that link. When I first came to this site I probably read every forum on this site for information on my case before I even posted I read for like a week straight. I didn't post those posts and yes she is pretty much that clueless. She went as far as taking our son(9) to court with her when we went for custody...she went as far as telling him to write a letter saying he wanted to stay with her if he wrote this letter and gave it to the judge. Now she is telling him hey son you can live with me if you tell a judge you want to when your 12. Our son acted out in his class room (yes he is seeing a counsler). Which now I believe is partly him wanting attention and then if she's letting him watch these violent movies. Every single one of her weekends I have called her about her visits this past visit I finally decided I quit. I didn't call all weekend to see if she was coming and she didn't show. Finally I sent her a text on Sunday letting her know that I would no longer be calling or texting her to come out and see him that it was her responsibility to keep up with. I let her know I would make him available but she needed to remember to come. I made her a calender with her weekend/ weekday visits along with her holiday visits because she couldn't remember when our custody transfered over. She called that last weekend she had him expecting to get him back. I had to remind her of that too. She sat on the phone and told our son that he didn't have to listen to my wife or I(yes I heard it our son walks around when he talks and she was yelling at him).

My wife has tried to make things better between all of us as well. my wife took my son to buy her a b-day present, christmas present, and a mothers day present. nothing has mattered to her. My sons mom went to one awards ceremony...one. He had 6 all in which he received awards. Yes, I went to all of them. Plus I handled the parent teacher conferences and any school activity that came up I went to. She only went on one field trip and that was because I called her and let her know about it and suggested she go with him especially since she was moving I figured it would give them some extra time together. She completely stoped coming to her weekday visits stating that she was in school. Her husband and I had talked one time and he himself told me that she was getting out @ 2:30 from school. She was choosing not to get him which again is fine because I know she can make that choice but then she would tell him we wouldn't let her come see him and he would act out at home because of this.
Now she wants to take him with her out of town and I am afraid of the brainwashing that is going to happen. I have looked at the standard I told her we could go by this but in the mean time do I have a recourse to keep him home for the summer until it is all in writting. I want to make sure she returns him.

She said that they are moving into a 5 bed room house that our son will have their own room and she is even requesting a passport. I want her to be able to see him but until a new order is drawn up can I say sorrry son stays in texas and you may visit with him here until you go for a new order. that is all I want to know. Thanks for that post. She did tell our son that she never lies to him that one day he can go with her I let him know that a judge would decide but that it really was none of his concern now that it was fine if he wanted to disrespect his stepmother and I but that he would continue to loose priviledges for doing so. His mom doesn't like that she doesn't like him getting in trouble for anything and when our son goes and tells her he is grounded or that he lost a priviledge. she only hears his side so she belives we are out to get him that all we do is punish him that he is better off with her because he behaves better. In reality she was never home to see what he was really like. She told me that he was not the same boy that was living with her and she is right he has responsibilities and he is being held accountable for his actions. I have to go to work but any assistance would be good. thanks again

J

 

[Ohiogal]

Truthfully the advice in vat's thread that she can't get through her empty head applies to you. Follow the court order you currently have. Mom gets to follow the court order. And let the games begin.

ETA: Copy her whole thread into a word file -- her idiocy is something that a court should see.

 

[LdiJ]

I would like to add one more thing. You cannot dictate what she does with the child under her current visitation orders. If she gets the month of July and she wants to take the child out of state, you cannot stop her.

 

[Ohiogal]

I would like to add one more thing. You cannot dictate what she does with the child under her current visitation orders. If she gets the month of July and she wants to take the child out of state, you cannot stop her.

Unless the court order restricts her. It probably doesn't but if it did...
Anyway he could prevent the child from going out of country.

 

[sytech]

your right

I guess I just needed someone to tell me I was wrong for even thinking of denying her July visit. I appreciate all the help that has been given to me on this site. She will now be leaving on July 9th she will be picking up our son on July 1st.

I have also received a letter from AG that gives a date to meet with our case worker and her to start child support payments. At this point she has requested to have our son one week a month for visits she wants him to stay with her in a city that is 45 minutes away from our home. I have thought about it alot and I dont think that this is a good idea. She has a history of not getting our son to school on time well when she actually took him. I guess my fear would be that she wouldn't be getting him to school in time. She has another son and he will be attending school in a different district and there is absolutly no way she would be able to get them both to school on time. I wrote her a letter again and copied the standard visitation plan for texas and I let her know what her options were. She can choose to get him the 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends a month or she can get him one weekend a month. I also advised her that the order states that if she chooses to get the one weekend a month option she needs to give me at least 14 days notice of her intent to visit. I think it also states that she has 90 days to make a choice. Is this reasonable?

I do realize that I cant controll what she does with our son when he is with her she and I have very different views of how to raise our son. Sometimes, its easy to get angry and be stubborn. I know that I need to be patient because I will be dealing with this situation very often in the years to come.

Again, I really do appreciate all the advise that has been given to me on this site. I want to do what is best for our son. Its easy for me to say she did this she did that and I dont want her around him because she has really made some poor choices. But I know that I just need to be patient and remind myself that he has a mom who really cares about him dispite her poor choices in parenting. At the same time I remind myself that our son really really loves her and that I need to think about what he needs in his life and he needs two parents who love and support him.

I did send her the letter with what the standard is but I also made her aware that if she was in town to call and let me know if she wanted to see him. That if our son is able to and we dont have arrangements or plans already she can call and check and she could see him. My goal isn't to completely cut her out of his life. I just want her to know that if all hell breaks loose that atleast we have the standard on paper to go by. She has shown to be unpredictable at times and I want her to know that if things cant be solved between ourselves she would have to go by the standard or she can go back to court to make her request.

Thanks again I guess you guys let me know if you think that I am being reasonable by going by the standard.

 

[Ohiogal]

Go by the standard until the court orders something else. Which mom should petition if she wants more time. Also be open about Skype, email, telephone calls and the like provided they are between reasonable hours (8am to 8pm or so)

 

[Nativity]

Weird how two different people have the same typing mannerisms.

 

[Isis1]

i am totally wigging out that vat is his ex. sheesh.

 

[jslopez711]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

TX

I gained custody in June 08 I have posted before. My sons mother is moving and she wants to take him out of the state for her summer visit. I let her know we didn't have a long distance visitation plan in our order that she could go to court to get one. That I wouldn't be allowing him to leave the state of Texas without an order stating that I needed to. I dont want her taking him across state lines and I would go to court but I dont have the money anymore to do so. Its not that I dont want him have his time with her for the summer I just want it in the order that way she doesn't keep him out of state with her. She also requested a passport for our son. I said no way again that she needed to get an order telling me to do it. She has been an irresponsible parent. Now I know I am not parent of the year and since I gained custody I am learning alot as a parent and as a father. Our son was not getting to school on time when he went that is. He missed 28 days and was tardy 26 days. He was up at all hours of the night during the school year causing him and her not to get up in the morning. Our son is now 9.She also basically gave custody of her younger son to his father in January. I just want to know if I can do this legally. Again she has known about this move since March and at that time I let her know she needed to file to get the order changed and she has not. I realize that our son needs to have a relationship with her but I want to make sure that everything is on paper. I dont have the money to do it at this time so I have let her know she needs to. Do we have anyother recourse? other than going to court.She wants to come in one week a month and wants our son to stay with her at her moms which is about 1 hour away. This is the visitation plan she want which I find unacceptable considering her history with getting him to school. any ideas would be great.

She has been filling our sons head with ideas that he doesn't have to listen to my wife or I because he will get to choose one day and he will get to live with her. Just this week I found out that our son has been watching pg-13 movies like 'Drag me to hell'. I am just tired of her poor choices. She doesn't get him for her weekday visits this past weekend she forgot it was her weekend. Now I know she doesn't have to visit him that is her right but she tells him its because we dont let him. I am at the end of the rope and sometimes I do really want to be an @#$& with her and maybe thats what it is now I just dont want to work with her anymore. I know I know It slept with her I made that choice. I guess I just need someone to knock some sense into me so I can think this out clearly. So I guess have at it.

If your ex is moving out of state and you don't want your son to visit her is completely petty in my opinion. Your son is not moving, just her.

A poster here recomended the 100 mile rule. That is about all you can do. I don't see a TX judge not letting your son go because of your opinon of her. To bad. Unless she has the list of convitions that are part of title V in the Texas Family Code, then she will be allowed to see her son as directed in the court order. All you can hope for is that she pay's for the trips.

Best

 

[sytech]

Its July 9th

ok well yesterday I received a message from our son saying that they were not going to be going to Michigan during her July Vistitation time. I sent her a text letting her know that I would be excercising my two non consecutive weekends one this weekend and then the next one two weekends from then. She wanted to know why I let her know that our custody order says I get two weekends while she has him. I had not planned to use them if they went to Michigan as I dont have the money to fly out there. My order states that I get two weekends of my choice and no its not one of those things that I need to give notice for. She then called and said that they will be going to Michigan after all. So I dont know if I should just let it go or actually press the issue and let her know that this is what the order says and that she could be found in contempt if she were to stay and not allow me my visit. I would love to spend some time with our son and his sibblings are missing him alot too.

What do you guys suggest?

 

[LdiJ]

ok well yesterday I received a message from our son saying that they were not going to be going to Michigan during her July Vistitation time. I sent her a text letting her know that I would be excercising my two non consecutive weekends one this weekend and then the next one two weekends from then. She wanted to know why I let her know that our custody order says I get two weekends while she has him. I had not planned to use them if they went to Michigan as I dont have the money to fly out there. My order states that I get two weekends of my choice and no its not one of those things that I need to give notice for. She then called and said that they will be going to Michigan after all. So I dont know if I should just let it go or actually press the issue and let her know that this is what the order says and that she could be found in contempt if she were to stay and not allow me my visit. I would love to spend some time with our son and his sibblings are missing him alot too.

What do you guys suggest?

Uh...according to the TX standard guidelines you get to take ONE weekend during her extended parenting time and the other weekend during one of her weekends that is NOT during her extended parenting time.

Also, according to the TX standard guidelines you DO need to give notice.

Dad, I think that you are being an ASS. Mom is about to move to MI and your son is going to have far less time to spend with her. Quit trying to take time away from the little they have left together.

 

[sytech]

No not in our order

Our order states that I have until April 15th to give notice if I want to have him for a weekend during her visitation time but it also goes on state that if she has him more than 30 days that I get two non consecutive weekends during her time period and no it does not say that I need to give notice. I am not trying to be an ass. I would like to have our son as well during the summer. I am just following out order and by the way the choice to move was hers. I am not making her move. This is the reason that we have an order so that it can be followed. Apparently our new order states that we need to follow the new order and that anything that is not covered in our new order is to remain the same except that I am now the residential parent and she is not. I not trying to take her time away. I just want the time that I am legally entitled to. She is making the choice to move away, she is made the choice to marry someone in the service knowing full and well what our custody order states regarding visitation. She knew that hubby would be moved around and even then she chose to put that first before her sons. Yes I understand that she has a right to visitation with our son but because of problems in the past I now go by our custody agreement. If it were an emergency would I switch with her sure I would but this is not an emergency and she is getting her visitation. I am not with holding it.
Thanks