Attempting sole legal without attorney

[LeemonGator]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? KS


I started down a path of stepparent adoption, dad contested, so now I am going to switch gears and file for sole legal and physical custody of my son. Currently there is no custody agreement, only legal paternity and child support.

Dad has never asked to see child, and has not seen child in years. Child knows who dad is but really only has an attachment to dads parents. I met with the GAL regarding the stepparent adoption and she said she would recommend the adoption in the childs best interest.

That said, does anyone think I am playing roulette by attempting going for sole legal custody without an attorney? My attorney quoted me 5,000 for the stepparent, and then quoted me 5000 for the custody hearing as well. It seems like a poor quote, as a custody hearing doesn't seem as difficult as a contested stepparent adoption.

At this point my options are to find a different attorney or go for this myself. I was thinking I could bring a number of witnesses close to my son who will verify nothing of a relationship. I have not spoken to childs dad in over 6 years, but I do know he contested the step adoption and found out he also plans to contest any sort of name change and the grandpa told me they are going to request joint legal/physical. Two months ago the grandpa sent me a parenting plan which basically split custody in half where child stays with grandpa every summer and Xmas break. I was offended by this. They live about as far away as possible in my state.

Dad pays child support faithfully but failed to secure medical coverage as asked of him by the court years ago.

Thanks for the legal advice in advance.

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? KS


I started down a path of stepparent adoption, dad contested, so now I am going to switch gears and file for sole legal and physical custody of my son. Currently there is no custody agreement, only legal paternity and child support.

Dad has never asked to see child, and has not seen child in years. Child knows who dad is but really only has an attachment to dads parents. I met with the GAL regarding the stepparent adoption and she said she would recommend the adoption in the childs best interest.

That said, does anyone think I am playing roulette by attempting going for sole legal custody without an attorney? My attorney quoted me 5,000 for the stepparent, and then quoted me 5000 for the custody hearing as well. It seems like a poor quote, as a custody hearing doesn't seem as difficult as a contested stepparent adoption.

At this point my options are to find a different attorney or go for this myself. I was thinking I could bring a number of witnesses close to my son who will verify nothing of a relationship. I have not spoken to childs dad in over 6 years, but I do know he contested the step adoption and found out he also plans to contest any sort of name change and the grandpa told me they are going to request joint legal/physical. Two months ago the grandpa sent me a parenting plan which basically split custody in half where child stays with grandpa every summer and Xmas break. I was offended by this. They live about as far away as possible in my state.

Dad pays child support faithfully but failed to secure medical coverage as asked of him by the court years ago.

Thanks for the legal advice in advance.

Frankly, if Dad's contesting the stepparent adoption, I'd guess he's going to dispute custody as well...

And (as someone who did successfully obtain sole legal/physical custody), unlenss you are certain Dad's not going to fight, it's not something that you really want to do without a lawyer in your corner.

 

[CSO286]

Posting HX......

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/reintegration-strategy-536511.html

https://forum.freeadvice.com/adoption-34/kansas-step-parent-adoption-cinc-535760.html


OP, if Dad is going fight you, you need an attorney.

 

[LeemonGator]

CSO,

Sort of a intangible question to ask, but does 5K seem like a steep price for a skilled lawyer to handle this custody for me?

Basically, my attorney told me he could get me sole legal guaranteed, but that a stepparent adoption would be difficult-yet possible.

Dad is going for custody and visitation, that is for sure at this point. I'm basically going to drop my motion for step adoption and enter a motion for sole legal/physical and also am going to request supervised visitation in my area as well as counseling for child and travel cost to be paid by dad.

It seems like if a stepparent adoption is 5 grand, custody modification should be less. But this is my first experience with a lawyer so what do I know. I was already hustled for 1500 by a lawyer who filed "old law" and the Judge was NOT happy with us. I filed a complaint with the board on him.

If dad is absent yet paying support, does he have a strong chance of gaining shared legal?

Thanks for pulling up my history, those threads were in regards to a step adoption and re integration, this is in regards to custody hearings. Should I use old threads for a new topic? If so, my apologies.

 

[Silverplum]

CSO,

Sort of a intangible question to ask, but does 5K seem like a steep price for a skilled lawyer to handle this custody for me?

Basically, my attorney told me he could get me sole legal guaranteed,

If you think it's a good idea to believe an attorney who "guarantees" results eek, then the question is whether $5K is worth that to you. We can't know that, only you know.

but that a stepparent adoption would be difficult-yet possible.

Dad is going for custody and visitation, that is for sure at this point.

Lawyer's not lying about that.

I'm basically going to drop my motion for step adoption and enter a motion for sole legal/physical and also am going to request supervised visitation in my area as well as counseling for child and travel cost to be paid by dad.

What travel cost?

It seems like if a stepparent adoption is 5 grand, custody modification should be less.

That's like saying kitchen plumbing should cost more than bathroom plumbing because the kitchen is often the larger room.

But this is my first experience with a lawyer so what do I know. I was already hustled for 1500 by a lawyer who filed "old law" and the Judge was NOT happy with us. I filed a complaint with the board on him.

...

If dad is absent yet paying support, does he have a strong chance of gaining shared legal?

What did the Guarantee Attorney say?

IMHO -- if you're using Dad for money and don't want to allow him ANY sort of say in his child's life, you're not someone I really want to help.

Thanks for pulling up my history, those threads were in regards to a step adoption and re integration, this is in regards to custody hearings. Should I use old threads for a new topic? If so, my apologies.

Same child?

 

[Zigner]

Guaranteed legal custody? RUN - that is NOT the attorney for you.

 

[CSO286]

CSO,

Sort of a intangible question to ask, but does 5K seem like a steep price for a skilled lawyer to handle this custody for me?

Basically, my attorney told me he could get me sole legal guaranteed, but that a stepparent adoption would be difficult-yet possible.

How muc is your child worth to you? How far are you willing to fight? What are you going to do if things start getting really ugly and the attorney says it's going to cost MORE???
Personlly, I wouldn't trust any attorney who could guaruntee anything.

Dad is going for custody and visitation, that is for sure at this point. I'm basically going to drop my motion for step adoption and enter a motion for sole legal/physical and also am going to request supervised visitation in my area as well as counseling for child and travel cost to be paid by dad.

If dad is going to fight for custody, then Dad is quite likely going to get some form of shared custody. I'd figure on JOINT LEGAL (meaning Dad gets input and joint decision making power), and after a suitable reintroduction period, you may well end up with JOINT PHYSICAL custody (Which is less likely IMO, since Dad's been so absent).

It seems like if a stepparent adoption is 5 grand, custody modification should be less. But this is my first experience with a lawyer so what do I know. I was already hustled for 1500 by a lawyer who filed "old law" and the Judge was NOT happy with us. I filed a complaint with the board on him.

Family court is expensive.

If dad is absent yet paying support, does he have a strong chance of gaining shared legal?

Absolutely. See above....I can see dad getting JOINT LEGAL over JOINT PHYSICAL very easily. Dad should be able to have some input in to the child's life--major medical, etc. Child has lived soleoy with you all along, so I could see you getting Sole Physical wiht dad getting suitable parenting time.

Thanks for pulling up my history, those threads were in regards to a step adoption and re integration, this is in regards to custody hearings. Should I use old threads for a new topic? If so, my apologies.

They also give insight into a poster's strategy and their game plans. Based on you posting history, it seems as though you are attempting to cut Dad out of child's life. You may find people who will reply will view your situation through that lens snd adjust thier advice/comments accordingly.

 

[LeemonGator]

If you think it's a good idea to believe an attorney who "guarantees" results eek, then the question is whether $5K is worth that to you. We can't know that, only you know.


Lawyer's not lying about that.


What travel cost?


That's like saying kitchen plumbing should cost more than bathroom plumbing because the kitchen is often the larger room.


...


What did the Guarantee Attorney say?

IMHO -- if you're using Dad for money and don't want to allow him ANY sort of say in his child's life, you're not someone I really want to help.


Same child?

Silver,

He guaranteed it, I certainly don't believe it.

Travel cost: Dad is going to be reintroduced to childs life, dad lives quite a ways away. Assuming dad holds his end of the bargain, eventually child will be traveling as well.

I figured lawyers cost is related to the difficulty of the job at hand. I don't know anything about lawyer, that's why I come here for perspective.

Attorney hasn't commented on chances of dad gaining shared legal. I just recently switched gears.

Allow him a say in the childs life? Fair point. He doesn't know where child goes to school, he's never called child or asked to see him. The GAL told me he didn't know his childs age or birthday during her first interview with im. I don't see where I've really done anything to cause that. He chose to create the distance, he can fill the distance. I will facilitate that action per court orders when it comes time.

Yes same child. That almost seemed like a guised jezebel type jab, but no worries friend.

 

[LeemonGator]

How muc is your child worth to you? How far are you willing to fight? What are you going to do if things start getting really ugly and the attorney says it's going to cost MORE???
Personlly, I wouldn't trust any attorney who could guaruntee anything.


I won't stop until the fight is finished.



If dad is going to fight for custody, then Dad is quite likely going to get some form of shared custody. I'd figure on JOINT LEGAL (meaning Dad gets input and joint decision making power), and after a suitable reintroduction period, you may well end up with JOINT PHYSICAL custody (Which is less likely IMO, since Dad's been so absent).

Major decision making power is a scary thought at this point.


Family court is expensive.

Indeed.



Absolutely. See above....I can see dad getting JOINT LEGAL over JOINT PHYSICAL very easily. Dad should be able to have some input in to the child's life--major medical, etc. Child has lived soleoy with you all along, so I could see you getting Sole Physical wiht dad getting suitable parenting time.

Major medical decisions? Again, scary thought.




They also give insight into a poster's strategy and their game plans. Based on you posting history, it seems as though you are attempting to cut Dad out of child's life. You may find people who will reply will view your situation through that lens snd adjust thier advice/comments accordingly.

Dad isn't in childs life. They send me a garnished paycheck. I feel like I have a decent chance at sole legal.

 

[Silverplum]

Yes same child. That almost seemed like a guised jezebel type jab, but no worries friend.

Sheeeeesh. I was asking a simple q to get a handle on the posting situation.

Done.

 

[CSO286]

Dad isn't in childs life. They send me a garnished paycheck. I feel like I have a decent chance at sole legal.

If dad is pursuing visitation, seeking some sort of custody, and fighting adoption, then it certainly sounds as though Dad wants to.

The odds aren't in your favor for sole legal. You could certainly request a clause that requries you to seek Dad's input, but in the event of an impasse, you retain final decision-making power.

Do some reading here, ok? Learn and preapre yourself for the battle ahead.

Ask yourself--at every step--"Is this what I want, or is it truly in the best interest of the child?"

And answer it honestly.

 

[LeemonGator]

Sheeeeesh. I was asking a simple q to get a handle on the posting situation.

Done.

Hehe, sorry. With all due respect, those aren't uncommon this board. Unfortunately, the senior posters seem to know their stuff.

Its actually an interesting forum. If you post a situation like mine under moms perspective, you usually get questioned about cutting dad out.

If I were to post the exact same situation from dads perspective, what do you bet "he'd" get questioned about leaving the kid alone in his current family.

Things aren't always what they seem, you dig?

 

[LeemonGator]

If dad is pursuing visitation, seeking some sort of custody, and fighting adoption, then it certainly sounds as though Dad wants to.

The odds aren't in your favor for sole legal. You could certainly request a clause that requries you to seek Dad's input, but in the event of an impasse, you retain final decision-making power.

Do some reading here, ok? Learn and preapre yourself for the battle ahead.

Ask yourself--at every step--"Is this what I want, or is it truly in the best interest of the child?"

And answer it honestly.

CSO,

Dad isn't pursing visitation. I'm the only one who has filed anything in court. Dad did show up an the initial hearing for a stepparent adoption to assert parental rights.

I'm sure a Judge will understand a parent all of a sudden becoming interested after court action is filed. I know the judge will facilitate that, its just a matter as to what extent.

The best interest of my child would be the stepparent adoption. But in my state, cases like Adoption of G.L.V and Adoption of J.M.D do not work in our favor to get it done. Kansas supreme courts have consistently ruled that a non consenting parent retains parental rights unless petitioner for adoption can prove that they've failed both the financial AND emotional support of child.

J.M.D is currently in the Supreme Court here and was heard in late 2009 but they have yet to issue a ruling yet. The Legislature has amended our stepparent statutes here (2006) so that the courts will use the childs best interest, but the higher courts do not see the amendment like that.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Hehe, sorry. With all due respect, those aren't uncommon this board. Unfortunately, the senior posters seem to know their stuff.

Its actually an interesting forum. If you post a situation like mine under moms perspective, you usually get questioned about cutting dad out.

If I were to post the exact same situation from dads perspective, what do you bet "he'd" get questioned about leaving the kid alone in his current family.

Things aren't always what they seem, you dig?

re the bolded: Unfortunately? Seems to me that its FORTUNATE the Seniors know their stuff, otherwise, it'd be the blind leading the blind.

WHO in the He77 said we'd tell "dad" to leave the kid alone in his current family? Really? Cite the thread. Really. Cite the thread. In YOUR situation, whether on either side of the coin, with the information you've given, If the NCP (notice not saying mom or dad, specifically) says, my ex is trying to get her new hubby to adopt my kid. I've been sending child support through a garnishment for several years, but I haven't seen my child for longer than that.
We'd in turn tell you to think about what was best for the child. Is it in the child's best interest to be ripped from their family, ONLY to pacify your need to pee on your child? NOT because of some burning desire to help raise your progeny.

 

[CSO286]

CSO,

Dad isn't pursing visitation. I'm the only one who has filed anything in court. Dad did show up an the initial hearing for a stepparent adoption to assert parental rights.

That's not what you said a moment ago.

Dad is going for custody and visitation, that is for sure at this point. I'm basically going to drop my motion for step adoption and enter a motion for sole legal/physical and also am going to request supervised visitation in my area as well as counseling for child and travel cost to be paid by dad.

Which is it?

<snip>

I'm sure a Judge will understand a parent all of a sudden becoming interested after court action is filed. I know the judge will facilitate that, its just a matter as to what extent.

You should be facilitaing the relationship between Dad and the child. It's not the judge's job.