What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA
I'm currently seeking sole custody of my 9 year old son. Son was abused by father in May 09'. CPS findings were abused. Criminal charges were made and will be proceeding. We came to an agreement of supervised visits every other Sunday. Father has not shown up to visits since Aug 09'.
DHS appeal hearing was 2 weeks ago, father was allowed to go pro se at this hearing (I was not notified this would be happening). He asked my son questions like "you know that even if a father did do something like that to his son, it doesn't mean he doesn't love him". My son is emotionally suffering because of this, he said he was terrified (literally shaking) when he found out he would have to answer his fathers questions directly - at every other hearing/trial he was more than comfortable and willing to answer the lawyers questions, but to have to directly answer the person that committed the crime against you? Is there no law against that to protect children? I am writing complaint letters (don't know if it will do any good) to the chief deputy city solicitor for CPS and several other people.
My question:
I rec'd an email from my atty yesterday stating that my son's father spoke with his atty and told her that at his arraignment the Judge told him to "stay away" from my son and that he "didn't realise" that this wouldn't affect supervised visits and that is why he stopped going.
I contacted my atty after he missed the first few visits, since Sept 09' my atty has been trying to contact his atty about these visits. My son's father's own atty could not even get ahold of him. Eventually (about 6 months after 1st visit was missed) we stopped going to the visits. I did seek advice of my atty before we stopped going, he said I should be OK - he made every attept (I have copies of all the letters he drafted and sent for me) to contact father (thru his atty).
Now 6 mths later he decides to finally contact his custody atty and give us some lame excuse as to why he didn't show? Is he allowed to do that?
I understand that regardless of the crimes he committed, he is still my son's father (it took alot of sucking it up to understand this) and that my son would probably like to see him again eventually - despite the fact that he is terrified of him now.
I do not want to be in contempt for denying visits but also I am concerned about what my son's father might say to him during them, not only could it cause futher harm to my son's mental state, but there still is a criminal trial to be had. Call them supervised all you want but no one is there to listen to what the parent's are saying to these children. My son has slowly started confiding in me some of the things his father said to him during these visits and they are really disturbing. When he was showing up to visits my son and I were always given some kind of lewd statement as a greeting from him IN the nursery room - I complained, I was told by the lady I complained to that "the sooner you leave the room the sooner we can start doing our jobs". I was not lingering in the room, I try to drop off and get out of that disgusting place, sit in the car for 2 hrs and get in and get out asap again. There's about 3 ladies to a room full of anywhere between 50-75 people.
Is there any way I can request that the visits be mediated with a psychologist/psychiatrist present at all times to ensure my son's emotional/mental well being? I would consent 100% if a psychologist/psychiatrist were present - otherwise I will be fighting these visits.
I don't think that my son should just be thrown into visits again after 6 months of not seeing his father without some kind of emotional support being there. When he was going to visits my son would literally spend half of the 2 hr visit in the bathroom physically ill because he was so nervous about seeing his father. Am I wrong? I'm still waiting for my attys response.
I'm currently seeking sole custody of my 9 year old son. Son was abused by father in May 09'. CPS findings were abused. Criminal charges were made and will be proceeding. We came to an agreement of supervised visits every other Sunday. Father has not shown up to visits since Aug 09'.
DHS appeal hearing was 2 weeks ago, father was allowed to go pro se at this hearing (I was not notified this would be happening). He asked my son questions like "you know that even if a father did do something like that to his son, it doesn't mean he doesn't love him". My son is emotionally suffering because of this, he said he was terrified (literally shaking) when he found out he would have to answer his fathers questions directly - at every other hearing/trial he was more than comfortable and willing to answer the lawyers questions, but to have to directly answer the person that committed the crime against you? Is there no law against that to protect children? I am writing complaint letters (don't know if it will do any good) to the chief deputy city solicitor for CPS and several other people.
My question:
I rec'd an email from my atty yesterday stating that my son's father spoke with his atty and told her that at his arraignment the Judge told him to "stay away" from my son and that he "didn't realise" that this wouldn't affect supervised visits and that is why he stopped going.
I contacted my atty after he missed the first few visits, since Sept 09' my atty has been trying to contact his atty about these visits. My son's father's own atty could not even get ahold of him. Eventually (about 6 months after 1st visit was missed) we stopped going to the visits. I did seek advice of my atty before we stopped going, he said I should be OK - he made every attept (I have copies of all the letters he drafted and sent for me) to contact father (thru his atty).
Now 6 mths later he decides to finally contact his custody atty and give us some lame excuse as to why he didn't show? Is he allowed to do that?
I understand that regardless of the crimes he committed, he is still my son's father (it took alot of sucking it up to understand this) and that my son would probably like to see him again eventually - despite the fact that he is terrified of him now.
I do not want to be in contempt for denying visits but also I am concerned about what my son's father might say to him during them, not only could it cause futher harm to my son's mental state, but there still is a criminal trial to be had. Call them supervised all you want but no one is there to listen to what the parent's are saying to these children. My son has slowly started confiding in me some of the things his father said to him during these visits and they are really disturbing. When he was showing up to visits my son and I were always given some kind of lewd statement as a greeting from him IN the nursery room - I complained, I was told by the lady I complained to that "the sooner you leave the room the sooner we can start doing our jobs". I was not lingering in the room, I try to drop off and get out of that disgusting place, sit in the car for 2 hrs and get in and get out asap again. There's about 3 ladies to a room full of anywhere between 50-75 people.
Is there any way I can request that the visits be mediated with a psychologist/psychiatrist present at all times to ensure my son's emotional/mental well being? I would consent 100% if a psychologist/psychiatrist were present - otherwise I will be fighting these visits.
I don't think that my son should just be thrown into visits again after 6 months of not seeing his father without some kind of emotional support being there. When he was going to visits my son would literally spend half of the 2 hr visit in the bathroom physically ill because he was so nervous about seeing his father. Am I wrong? I'm still waiting for my attys response.
