What is the name of your state? Indiana
My ex states that our daughter does not want to visit and also thinks that it should be her choice. She does everything within her power to discourage her from spending time with me and also makes derogatory statements about my fiancée, my family and me. I also have her doing this on tape.
We just spend time in the attorney office trying to come up with some form of an agreement. I had contempt charges filed against her over Thanksgiving visitation. When we sat in the attorney’s office her attorney stated that she was unaware of the fact that we had another set of papers for holiday visitation. He also said that she went three years ago to the courthouse to get copies of the current Indiana guidelines, which are not the papers that we go by.
This did not jive. If she would of went to the courthouse she could of got a copy of our orders. Any clerk would of told her that the orders that we have, might not of been the current ones considering it was back in 1998. So they would have suggested copying our orders from when they were filed. I also have her on tape stating that I cannot just go according to whatever paperwork whenever I want and it suits me. So after being told this I immediately mailed her a copy of our orders registered with her having to sign for them. (Now remember her attorney stated she did not have copies of our orders, not until she contacted him and they had their first meeting, after the contempt charges) which is a bald face lie. She even told our daughter at that time when I had her that we had sent her a copy of the papers and that she had to sign for them.
So more or less her attorney was stating ignorance on her part and saying that was why she did not go along with our orders. He said she thought we had the Indiana Guidelines.
Ok, lets see last year I had two holidays that I got to spend with my daughter last year. Non-custodial parents are allowed more than two holidays per year on the Indiana Guidelines. So how rational is that.
Anyway I received paperwork from her attorney this week with what he thinks is what we agreed on and I guess she and he thinks I will sign. Here is what they proposed that we agreed on.
1. The time I should pick my daughter up after school.
2. That we both will provide transportation equally during regular visit and holiday visits as before.
3. That I will have my daughter ready for pick up at the time on our schedule, (I was two minutes late once getting her back to our house from my moms.) Didn’t matter mom comes anywhere from 15-20 minutes early since then for pickup.
4. That we will continue to go by our holiday schedule that we agreed upon when we first filed papers unless we agree to change a holiday and it has to be in writing and signed by both of us. (I agreed to the same schedule but not to any changes or the signing of any changes)
5. That our daughter’s wishes be considered concerning her maternal grandmother and social activities. (Lets see mom said she did not want to see grandma at great-grandpa’s house. But when she came to visit and all the family was there daughter was given the choice of being at home or going there and she wanted to go.)
6. That I agree to support her in any extra curricular school activities and agree to provide transportation to such. (I took her during the school year to all of her volleyball practices on my weekends and to all of her games, which were on my weekends. We always stayed for all of it. Mom showed up for one game.) Mom also made derogatory remarks to daughter’s coach concerning our support of daughter in such activities and then coach question mom about what she said since we volunteered to help.
7. That our daughter should have say if we were to take her to a third party house for an extended stay (third party being anybody but mom or dads house) more or less stating that if my daughter does not agree that none of my family can have her overnight or anything. (The weird part is I have never left her anywhere overnight. (My attorney and her attorney at the time told her that no judge is going to allow a minor child the right to pick and choose visitation or have a choice in visiting with the persons family unless there is evidence of abuse of some form.)
8. That if I can change my weekends that she might consider giving me one overnight during the week every other week with the first condition being met. But it also states on the papers that this is just an idea.
Also it states that if she does give me one overnight week visitation day that I will not get parenting time credit for it ever. (Five people or should I say families would have to change their schedules to if I were to change weekends after 17 years, at this point it is highly unlikely that I can accomplish this.) So I am to be denied what it states in the Indiana Guidelines I could have if we were going by them.
9. That since we are coming to this agreement that we agree to drop all motions filed and they we both agree to pay all of our own attorney fees. It also states on the paper that items can be removed or reworded if we do not agree.
10. For the parents to discuss things between themselves and for information not to be passed through our daughter.
11. That I am allowed to pursue information concerning whether our daughter is legally enrolled in the school she is attending (Originally her attorney and her said she would provide proof) without interference.
After I had this meeting with her and the attorneys I called my attorney and told him that if nothing else I wanted this Thanksgiving to make up for last year. I would say by the papers he either did not contact him about it or she would not agree.
So here are my choices.
With these papers this is what I get…
No make up time for Thanksgiving.
No attorney fees because she was in contempt.
No overnight visit during the week unless I meet her requirements
When making decisions, concerning the time our daughter is with me, that our daughter maintains complete control over any and all decision-making where it concerns her in reference to where we go, whom we visit and who might oversee her (family).
Or I can go ahead with our court date.
If we go to court I figure the judge will order Indiana Guidelines, which means are weekends will rotate with the holidays so we will not have set weekends. So there will be weekends when our daughter will just have to sit on Saturday and figure out something to do until I get off of work. I don’t work Sundays.
Our holidays will flip-flop and I will get the ones that are left that I should of gotten last year.
It states in the Indiana Guidelines that if it is a reasonable distance that I can have my child overnight one night during the week while she is in school as long as I provide transportation, with that being the only stipulation. I did for the years 03,04,05 so I can now.
In all actuality it states a lot of really good things that should be addressed and that have to be answered for.
I also still want attorney fees for having to pursue this. I also want my daughter on the day I am getting married if its on one of her mothers weekends because we have to change to a new schedule because of all of this.
I also want the judge to listen to the tape that I recorded of my ex calling me names and pretty much telling me and our daughter that she does not have to listen to me. That I have no say in anything. That she is old enough to make her own decisions.
So I ask all of you wise people what would you do? Give up and realize that everything you have done is in vain. Or at least attempt to get something for the injustice?
One other thing is ignorance of the law or ignorance of legal documentation grounds for dismissal?
My ex states that our daughter does not want to visit and also thinks that it should be her choice. She does everything within her power to discourage her from spending time with me and also makes derogatory statements about my fiancée, my family and me. I also have her doing this on tape.
We just spend time in the attorney office trying to come up with some form of an agreement. I had contempt charges filed against her over Thanksgiving visitation. When we sat in the attorney’s office her attorney stated that she was unaware of the fact that we had another set of papers for holiday visitation. He also said that she went three years ago to the courthouse to get copies of the current Indiana guidelines, which are not the papers that we go by.
This did not jive. If she would of went to the courthouse she could of got a copy of our orders. Any clerk would of told her that the orders that we have, might not of been the current ones considering it was back in 1998. So they would have suggested copying our orders from when they were filed. I also have her on tape stating that I cannot just go according to whatever paperwork whenever I want and it suits me. So after being told this I immediately mailed her a copy of our orders registered with her having to sign for them. (Now remember her attorney stated she did not have copies of our orders, not until she contacted him and they had their first meeting, after the contempt charges) which is a bald face lie. She even told our daughter at that time when I had her that we had sent her a copy of the papers and that she had to sign for them.
So more or less her attorney was stating ignorance on her part and saying that was why she did not go along with our orders. He said she thought we had the Indiana Guidelines.
Ok, lets see last year I had two holidays that I got to spend with my daughter last year. Non-custodial parents are allowed more than two holidays per year on the Indiana Guidelines. So how rational is that.
Anyway I received paperwork from her attorney this week with what he thinks is what we agreed on and I guess she and he thinks I will sign. Here is what they proposed that we agreed on.
1. The time I should pick my daughter up after school.
2. That we both will provide transportation equally during regular visit and holiday visits as before.
3. That I will have my daughter ready for pick up at the time on our schedule, (I was two minutes late once getting her back to our house from my moms.) Didn’t matter mom comes anywhere from 15-20 minutes early since then for pickup.
4. That we will continue to go by our holiday schedule that we agreed upon when we first filed papers unless we agree to change a holiday and it has to be in writing and signed by both of us. (I agreed to the same schedule but not to any changes or the signing of any changes)
5. That our daughter’s wishes be considered concerning her maternal grandmother and social activities. (Lets see mom said she did not want to see grandma at great-grandpa’s house. But when she came to visit and all the family was there daughter was given the choice of being at home or going there and she wanted to go.)
6. That I agree to support her in any extra curricular school activities and agree to provide transportation to such. (I took her during the school year to all of her volleyball practices on my weekends and to all of her games, which were on my weekends. We always stayed for all of it. Mom showed up for one game.) Mom also made derogatory remarks to daughter’s coach concerning our support of daughter in such activities and then coach question mom about what she said since we volunteered to help.
7. That our daughter should have say if we were to take her to a third party house for an extended stay (third party being anybody but mom or dads house) more or less stating that if my daughter does not agree that none of my family can have her overnight or anything. (The weird part is I have never left her anywhere overnight. (My attorney and her attorney at the time told her that no judge is going to allow a minor child the right to pick and choose visitation or have a choice in visiting with the persons family unless there is evidence of abuse of some form.)
8. That if I can change my weekends that she might consider giving me one overnight during the week every other week with the first condition being met. But it also states on the papers that this is just an idea.
Also it states that if she does give me one overnight week visitation day that I will not get parenting time credit for it ever. (Five people or should I say families would have to change their schedules to if I were to change weekends after 17 years, at this point it is highly unlikely that I can accomplish this.) So I am to be denied what it states in the Indiana Guidelines I could have if we were going by them.
9. That since we are coming to this agreement that we agree to drop all motions filed and they we both agree to pay all of our own attorney fees. It also states on the paper that items can be removed or reworded if we do not agree.
10. For the parents to discuss things between themselves and for information not to be passed through our daughter.
11. That I am allowed to pursue information concerning whether our daughter is legally enrolled in the school she is attending (Originally her attorney and her said she would provide proof) without interference.
After I had this meeting with her and the attorneys I called my attorney and told him that if nothing else I wanted this Thanksgiving to make up for last year. I would say by the papers he either did not contact him about it or she would not agree.
So here are my choices.
With these papers this is what I get…
No make up time for Thanksgiving.
No attorney fees because she was in contempt.
No overnight visit during the week unless I meet her requirements
When making decisions, concerning the time our daughter is with me, that our daughter maintains complete control over any and all decision-making where it concerns her in reference to where we go, whom we visit and who might oversee her (family).
Or I can go ahead with our court date.
If we go to court I figure the judge will order Indiana Guidelines, which means are weekends will rotate with the holidays so we will not have set weekends. So there will be weekends when our daughter will just have to sit on Saturday and figure out something to do until I get off of work. I don’t work Sundays.
Our holidays will flip-flop and I will get the ones that are left that I should of gotten last year.
It states in the Indiana Guidelines that if it is a reasonable distance that I can have my child overnight one night during the week while she is in school as long as I provide transportation, with that being the only stipulation. I did for the years 03,04,05 so I can now.
In all actuality it states a lot of really good things that should be addressed and that have to be answered for.
I also still want attorney fees for having to pursue this. I also want my daughter on the day I am getting married if its on one of her mothers weekends because we have to change to a new schedule because of all of this.
I also want the judge to listen to the tape that I recorded of my ex calling me names and pretty much telling me and our daughter that she does not have to listen to me. That I have no say in anything. That she is old enough to make her own decisions.
So I ask all of you wise people what would you do? Give up and realize that everything you have done is in vain. Or at least attempt to get something for the injustice?
One other thing is ignorance of the law or ignorance of legal documentation grounds for dismissal?
