Biological father does not claim child.

[CountryChic87]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

In Februray of 2011 I found out I was pregnant. The biological father did not want anything to do with the child and took off. Since then I resently reunited with a man who I am now engaged to and has been with me since April of 2011. He already claims my now 5 month old as his own but would like to now adopt her. I know I would need to get a lawyer but also knowing I would not have a fight with the biological is there anyway we can procced with the adoption without a lawyer?

 

[ecmst12]

Absolutely NOT. You need a lawyer, and the father needs to be served and consent.

And in fact you probably can't proceed with the adoption until you have been married for a few years.

 

[LeemonGator]

Above is accurate. Recently went through something similar....far far from a DIY project.

 

[Silverplum]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/questionable-574938.html

Poster has another thread going.

 

[CountryChic87]

Re:

Yes I have two threads for I have two children with completly different yet simular situations. Where as my oldest' father claims her. My youngest' does not. I have giving the biological father to my youngest several chances to be apart of my youngest' life yet he refuses even to the point that he claims that she is not in anyway his. He has never seen her nor signed anything. That is why I asked if there was any abandonment law which after my fiance and I wed that can take in effect for an easier adoption procces.

 

[Proserpina]

Yes I have two threads for I have two children with completly different yet simular situations. Where as my oldest' father claims her. My youngest' does not. I have giving the biological father to my youngest several chances to be apart of my youngest' life yet he refuses even to the point that he claims that she is not in anyway his. He has never seen her nor signed anything. That is why I asked if there was any abandonment law which after my fiance and I wed that can take in effect for an easier adoption procces.

You need an attorney. Even when all three parties are in agreement, adoption is not a DIY process.

And truly, your fiance needs to ask himself a question. So do you, actually.

If you divorce, are you going to be okay with HIM getting full custody and you paying child support?

If you divorce, is HE going to be okay with YOU getting custody and him having to pay child support for a child not biologically his?

I'm beginning to understand why certain seniors question the need for a stepparent adoption. So often, we see situations where one parent is here asking how to reverse the adoption because they're no longer with the other parent.

You should also be aware that it's not uncommon that, when served with a petition to have their parental rights terminated so the adoption can go ahead, the parent decides s/he wants to become a part of the child's life.

And the courts will generally allow that. If the absent parent truly is absent, perhaps it's best not to rock the boat.

 

[CountryChic87]

??

Thank you Proserpina,
The advice you gave was truely helpful. We have discused the issue of what if seperation, while we are both in the agreement over her to be civil in spending time with her if the fact ever occured. But with you bringing up the point of the biological after being served wanting to all of a sudden enter my daughters life did catch my attention. I do feel its fair if he does want to but at the same time I feel that that should be a choice for her to make once she is of age and not now where she can be hurt if he was to leave again. Now I know in the state of IL without custodial agreement the mother has all custodial rights and expecially since he did not sign the birth certificate. Would I as the "Custodial parent" be able to at least grant joint guardenship to my fiance For situations in which I am unavailable?

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you Proserpina,
The advice you gave was truely helpful. We have discused the issue of what if seperation, while we are both in the agreement over her to be civil in spending time with her if the fact ever occured. But with you bringing up the point of the biological after being served wanting to all of a sudden enter my daughters life did catch my attention. I do feel its fair if he does want to but at the same time I feel that that should be a choice for her to make once she is of age and not now where she can be hurt if he was to leave again. Now I know in the state of IL without custodial agreement the mother has all custodial rights and expecially since he did not sign the birth certificate. Would I as the "Custodial parent" be able to at least grant joint guardenship to my fiance For situations in which I am unavailable?

Not joint guardianship or custody, no - at least not without Dad being located and served first.

Perhaps more to the point though, in the case of an emergency medical situation for example it wouldn't matter - any person can rush the child to hospital and the ER WILL treat (or at least stabilize) the child until a legal guardian can be located/consulted.

I'm not sure, since you're the only one with legal decision-making abilities at the moment, what else you would hope to accomplish. You can have him pick up kiddo from school, for example - that needs no special form or paper. You can even list him as an emergency contact if the school needed to get in touch.

So having dealt with medical and educational matters, I'm hard-pressed to think of anything else off the top of my head.

 

[nextwife]

Thank you Proserpina,
The advice you gave was truely helpful. We have discused the issue of what if seperation, while we are both in the agreement over her to be civil in spending time with her if the fact ever occured.

Poster, you DO realize that as an adoptive dad, he would have an equal right for PRIMARY custody if you two ever split someday, not necessarilly just a visitation schedule?