Blindsided By a PFA

[funnybabyboy200]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

I was served with a PFA today, filed by my ex on behalf of himself & our son, 2 years old.

It states that I am psychotic & unstable, violent & unpredictable. He says that I am supposed to be on psychotic meds, and am supposed to be seeing a therapist because I want to take my own life. It says that I hit my son, & take him out in cold weather. It says that I am jealous because he doesn't want to be with me anymore, and I stalk him.
It says that he is very emotionally distressed, and he doesn't know what I am capable of.

We have had plenty of arguments, of which he has been as much a participant as myself. I have called him repeatedly, and he has called me repeatedly. He has sent me horrible text messages, as have I.

I am not suicidal. I am not on any medication. I am not violent, I don't spank my son, I take him outside when I need to, and to play...it's PA, not the Antarctic. I love my son and I really make an effort to take good care of him. I mean, I think I'm a normal mother. As far as the jealousy thing, I am not going to claim to have no feelings for him, however, I am not being vindictive because he doesn't want to be with me.

He told me two days ago that he loves me, he thinks about me all the time, I'm always on his mind. It's like this, all the time. He acts all crazy & nasty towards me, & the next day he wants to get back together. This is the first time he's done something like this.

I am hoping to talk to an attorney first thing in the morning. I am gathering all the info I can possibly think of to take with me.

The order also states that our son lives with him, which is not true. We have no legal custody agreement, and there is not a support order. I financially provide 100% of my son's needs.

The order also states that there is a support case, so I am assuming he has filed for child support, and of course the PFA grants him temporary custody.

My son was with a family member while I worked today. I was served at work, and of course I can't be around my son now. He hasn't gone to get my son, so my family member is kind of just keeping him by default. There isn't anything I can do.

Does anybody have any advice. I'm sorry if this is disjointed, I am very distressed & exhausted.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

I was served with a PFA today, filed by my ex on behalf of himself & our son, 2 years old.

It states that I am psychotic & unstable, violent & unpredictable. He says that I am supposed to be on psychotic meds, and am supposed to be seeing a therapist because I want to take my own life. It says that I hit my son, & take him out in cold weather. It says that I am jealous because he doesn't want to be with me anymore, and I stalk him.
It says that he is very emotionally distressed, and he doesn't know what I am capable of.

We have had plenty of arguments, of which he has been as much a participant as myself. I have called him repeatedly, and he has called me repeatedly. He has sent me horrible text messages, as have I.

I am not suicidal. I am not on any medication. I am not violent, I don't spank my son, I take him outside when I need to, and to play...it's PA, not the Antarctic. I love my son and I really make an effort to take good care of him. I mean, I think I'm a normal mother. As far as the jealousy thing, I am not going to claim to have no feelings for him, however, I am not being vindictive because he doesn't want to be with me.

He told me two days ago that he loves me, he thinks about me all the time, I'm always on his mind. It's like this, all the time. He acts all crazy & nasty towards me, & the next day he wants to get back together. This is the first time he's done something like this.

I am hoping to talk to an attorney first thing in the morning. I am gathering all the info I can possibly think of to take with me.

The order also states that our son lives with him, which is not true. We have no legal custody agreement, and there is not a support order. I financially provide 100% of my son's needs.

The order also states that there is a support case, so I am assuming he has filed for child support, and of course the PFA grants him temporary custody.

My son was with a family member while I worked today. I was served at work, and of course I can't be around my son now. He hasn't gone to get my son, so my family member is kind of just keeping him by default. There isn't anything I can do.

Does anybody have any advice. I'm sorry if this is disjointed, I am very distressed & exhausted.

Yes. Talk with the attorney and let him handle it.

Anyone can make all sorts of claims to get a PFA order. Within a fairly short period of time, there has to be a hearing - and he will have to prove his allegations. If there's no evidence of anything he's claiming, your attorney will rake him over the coals.

At the same time, you need to gather the evidence showing that you have been the primary caregiver. School documents, medical documents, child care witnesses, etc - anything that establishes that the child has been living primarily with you.

 

[funnybabyboy200]

Thanks. Spoke to an attorney today. She said that a PFA is the fast & free way to immediately gain custody of a child. She said that when the PFA is dismissed, he will probably file a complaint with CYS. She said that it will probably get worse before it gets better. I am filing for legal custody, and filed for support today.

In addition, the child is at my mother's house. My son is sick, and isn't able to go to daycare. He knows I can't have the child, and my lawyer advised my mother to contact my ex & tell him where our son is. My mother did so, and my ex asked my mother if the child was well enough to go to daycare, and my mother told him no. He said, "ok, well give him a kiss for me", and hung up the phone.

He threw the first punch, and it's ON.

 

[funnybabyboy200]

I hope someone can answer another question for me, although it may not pertain to this particular category, it pertains to my original post. I have been gathering everything my lawyer asked for. There is an incident referenced in the PFA that happened 2 years ago, and the police were called. I called the police department and asked if I could get a copy of the police report. They told me that unless someone was arrested or charged, there isn't a police report, and if there was, they wouldn't release it to the public. They said the only documentation would be the info given when the call was made to the police, and they need a date & an approximate time the call was made. Is this the case? Does anyone know if it is worth trying to gain this info? No one was arrested or charged.

I see my lawyer tomorrow to be prepped for the hearing on Thursday, & I want to have everything I possibly can before my meeting with her.

 

[mistoffolees]

I hope someone can answer another question for me, although it may not pertain to this particular category, it pertains to my original post. I have been gathering everything my lawyer asked for. There is an incident referenced in the PFA that happened 2 years ago, and the police were called. I called the police department and asked if I could get a copy of the police report. They told me that unless someone was arrested or charged, there isn't a police report, and if there was, they wouldn't release it to the public. They said the only documentation would be the info given when the call was made to the police, and they need a date & an approximate time the call was made. Is this the case? Does anyone know if it is worth trying to gain this info? No one was arrested or charged.

I see my lawyer tomorrow to be prepped for the hearing on Thursday, & I want to have everything I possibly can before my meeting with her.

Ask your attorney. He will know what information the police keep on hand and will know how to get it.