Broken hearted over evil grandparents

[Spritedog]

california, ex girlfriend had child. i claimed it was mine. she denied it beacuse she was scared of her boyfriends temper. He is named on birth certificate. i begged and pleaded but was told to never bring it up again. i was only 20 and naive. when my daughter was 1, she was adopted by her grandparents because ex and her boyfriend were druggies. i was never notified of the adoption, even though they knew the possiblity of me being the bio father. when she was three, i couldn't take the pain anymore and went to visit. i asked for a blood test and was bitterly refused by grandparents. i began to doubt myself and believe it may not be my child. i left crying and hurt. three years ago, my ex-gilrfriend came back to california and called me to say that she had just visited our daughter and was 100% possitive she was mine after seeing her. the next day i went to go visit and have spent one day a week or more visiting her, with the grandparents support. I have developed a great bond and have been a positive role model for her. as the relationship has progressed, the grandparents have gotten more posessive. They have recently screeched, "you have no legal right! we don't have to let you see her!" my ex-girlfriend and I have been back together for one and a half years. I just want to spend time with my daughter and be a part of her life. I'm not threatning to take her from them. Just maybe to lunch. Please search within your hearts and help. I'm 32 and brokenhearted. Thanks. Loving dad

 

[LegalBeagle]

california, ex girlfriend had child. i claimed it was mine. she denied it beacuse she was scared of her boyfriends temper. He is named on birth certificate. i begged and pleaded but was told to never bring it up again. i was only 20 and naive. when my daughter was 1, she was adopted by her grandparents because ex and her boyfriend were druggies. i was never notified of the adoption, even though they knew the possiblity of me being the bio father. when she was three, i couldn't take the pain anymore and went to visit. i asked for a blood test and was bitterly refused by grandparents. i began to doubt myself and believe it may not be my child. i left crying and hurt. three years ago, my ex-gilrfriend came back to california and called me to say that she had just visited our daughter and was 100% possitive she was mine after seeing her. the next day i went to go visit and have spent one day a week or more visiting her, with the grandparents support. I have developed a great bond and have been a positive role model for her. as the relationship has progressed, the grandparents have gotten more posessive. They have recently screeched, "you have no legal right! we don't have to let you see her!" my ex-girlfriend and I have been back together for one and a half years. I just want to spend time with my daughter and be a part of her life. I'm not threatning to take her from them. Just maybe to lunch. Please search within your hearts and help. I'm 32 and brokenhearted. Thanks. Loving dad

Unfortunately I am not sure what you can do (probably nothing). The time to contest this was right at the beginning. There is no chance you could overturn this adoption now.

They were able to proceed because Californian Fam. Code § 8604 allows an adoption to occur if you fail to support the child or respond to a notice of adoption... or... Fam. Code § 8604 would take away your need to consent if 'Parent willfully fails to contact or support the child for one year'.

Basically, without 'legal right' to the child, you are unable to proceed with court action to establish visitation. Therefore your only option is to be nice to the GP's and grab whatever time you can until the child turns 18.

 

[Spritedog]

thank you for your response. my next question is based on california fam. code 7666, is it not there requirement and responsibility to notify me of the adoptiopn before it takes place? they knew it was a possibility. i believe i was not notified out of motive.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Not if there was ever a period of time where they couldn't locate you. If that was the case, they didn't have to employ an "Hurculean" efforts to locate you; e.g., hire an investigator to locate you.

As long as they declared in the papers that they made a "reasonable and diligent" effort to locate you, all they had to do was to publish the Petition for adoption in a newspaper of general circulation in the county where they believed you last resided.

If that was the case, and you failed to see the legal notice, then Due Process was satisfied when you failed to appear in court.

Basically, it's all over.

IAAL

 

[Spritedog]

I have lived in the same house for 22 years. My mother lived here during that time period and she was in contact with them throughout the entire time, although the adoption was never mentioned. I was completely accessible.

 

[Spritedog]

I have decide to avoid a legal battle which would hurt everyone involved, especially my daughter. i don't feel the "pink slip" theory is worth losing a precious moment for that claim. I have been working it out with the grandparents. i do believe that they have good intentions. I got to see my daughter subday and she was as loving as always. i just have to keep on trucking and be strong to make up for the time i wasn't. thanx to those who reponded. i believe this is a great site! take care and remember to make your decisions based on love. they will be the ones you are proud of in the future. good luck!