Can a judge order therapy in place of granting divorce in CA?

[Love My Husband]

Can a judge order therapy/counseling before granting divorce in CA?

What is the name of your state? California

In a no-fault state, can a judge order a couple into therapy/counseling before granting divorce (the paperwork to seperate hasn't even been filed)? Or even order a person to move back home or to stay away with the people causing the problems?

His parents did everything they could to break up his last marriage (and succeeded or else he wouldn't be with me) and pulled him back into the cycle of mental abuse he grew up in. His ex-wife might be willing to back me in court as to what they did. Also, during his custody case for his daughter, the psychologist said he has bornerline personality disorder and passive-aggressive tendencies, casting doubt on his mental ability to make a decision like this himself.

Worth mentioning: Today, when I got home, it was to find him, looking so insane a mutual friend asked if his parents slipped him drugs, and his parents and 20-year-old brother clearing out our house, taking about 90% of everything, complete with my medications, work I had done for my business, jewelry, etc., and all furniture but the bed. Everything for a 3-bedroom house.

This is a viable marriage. Several of his relatives have called me offering to do what they can to help, saying this is too out-of-character and that they are worried about the control his parents are exherting (and what they are doing to manipulate him is so awful it must be criminal as it involves continuing mental abuse of this young brothers).

I can't afford an attorney, and neither can he, so please don't insult me for asking what I have been unable to find the answer to.

"For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, 'til death do us part." I take my vows seriously. This is a time of "worse" and I won't quit until final papers are signed (nothing has been filed at all yet).

Please help.

 

[Love My Husband]

Also, in the meantime, shallow as this sounds, what can I do to try to get the car back? It's jointly owned, but he also has a truck (stick, I don't know how to drive stick) in his name only bought two months ago. The car is at his parents' house in the driveway blocked in with one of their SUVs (they have too many). I live in a town with NO public transportation and can't get to the store to do basic shopping without calling a cab. The car has been blocked in their place for a week. Without the car, I have no way to get a refill of the medications they took (police said it's all a civil matter, not criminal).

I have searched leginfo.ca.gov and come up with not much. Someone I know said that he will have to give the car back in the meantime as I am just as entitled to it and he has another mode of transportation.

Please help, I'm desperate.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

File a report of theft for your personal items stolen, that is not a civil matter. CA is a community property state, have your husband collect his car from their driveway. You can file a DV restraining order to get them to stay away form your residence and to return the items stolen. Go to the Family Law Facilitator's office, they will assist you with the paperwork. If you do file for divorce, you can ask for mediation and for an EC 730 evaluation. If he was Diagnosed Borderline PD and passive agressive PD he has major problems and it may not take Rx to set him off and there may be undue influence. Has there been any domestic violence between you and your husband?

 

[Love My Husband]

When I called the police to see what I could do, they said that, as community property and as he went with them, there's nothing I can do but take them to court.

There's never been any DV between us. His parents have a rap sheet a mile long (the hold the record for the most DV and domestic disturbance calls in one year for San Jose, CA), and last summer his step-mom came after me with a crow bar. He had to hold her off while his dad called the cops, and the cops wouldn't do anything but stay there until my husband could let go of her and get in the car. They wouln't arrest her or anything, and we didn't talk to her or his dad for nearly 8 months. But never anything between me and him.

With the borderline personality PD and passive agressive PD, and his parents' record of DV and DD at their house, combined with having had their five sons all taken into CPS while they were thrown into jails, do you think this might make a judge more hesitant to grant a divorce? Could it be grounds for the judge to issue an order for him and his parents to not be around each other for a while?

If a judge does and he still goes back over there againt the order and his parents allow it, would it nullify the order? Could such an order be appealed/cancelled by my husband?

He needs to get away from them. He isn't well right now, and it's all a game for money for them, but they are destroying him and don't care. His grandparents (dad's parents) have been begging me to get him away from them before something worse happens, and they're so close to disowning their own son for doing this to their grandson.

Time is of the essence. Every day that goes by is another day of damage. I have no intention of filing divorce myself.

 

[LdiJ]

When I called the police to see what I could do, they said that, as community property and as he went with them, there's nothing I can do but take them to court.

There's never been any DV between us. His parents have a rap sheet a mile long (the hold the record for the most DV and domestic disturbance calls in one year for San Jose, CA), and last summer his step-mom came after me with a crow bar. He had to hold her off while his dad called the cops, and the cops wouldn't do anything but stay there until my husband could let go of her and get in the car. They wouln't arrest her or anything, and we didn't talk to her or his dad for nearly 8 months. But never anything between me and him.

With the borderline personality PD and passive agressive PD, and his parents' record of DV and DD at their house, combined with having had their five sons all taken into CPS while they were thrown into jails, do you think this might make a judge more hesitant to grant a divorce? Could it be grounds for the judge to issue an order for him and his parents to not be around each other for a while?

If a judge does and he still goes back over there againt the order and his parents allow it, would it nullify the order? Could such an order be appealed/cancelled by my husband?

He needs to get away from them. He isn't well right now, and it's all a game for money for them, but they are destroying him and don't care. His grandparents (dad's parents) have been begging me to get him away from them before something worse happens, and they're so close to disowning their own son for doing this to their grandson.

Time is of the essence. Every day that goes by is another day of damage. I have no intention of filing divorce myself.

I am truly sorry..but unless your husband could be found mentally incompetent...and in need of a guardian (which isn't the case here) any divorce is going to proceed as normal. A judge doesn't have the option to order you to counseling to try to repair the marriage.

However you do need to protect yourself...and in particular you need to get the car back. That means that you are going to need to be filing something in court. Perhaps a legal separation is the way to go at this point...so that he is ordered to return the car to you. Please get yourself a consult with an attorney.

 

[Love My Husband]

Thing is, I don't WANT a divorce. I want his parents to butt the hell out of our lives.

I wish I could afford an attorney, but I can't. There's just not the money. Nor is there anything of value left to sell. It was all taken.

Is there any way to have his declared incompetent based on his PDs, to make a decision of such magnitude? His behavior this last week does not indicate that this would have been advance planning. Just Friday he gave me his new debit card number and the password to access his bank account (we have seperate accounts and joint), and then on Saturday comes with his parents and cleans the place out? None of his passwords have been changed, and today I used the debit card number to pay the cell phone bill (he gave it to me to pay bills with as normal).

People who know him have said he is like a different person right now. Frankly, I'm not sure he's entirely aware of what's going on.

Questions not yet answered:
With the borderline personality PD and passive agressive PD, and his parents' record of DV and DD at their house, combined with having had their five sons all taken into CPS while they were thrown into jails, do you think this might make a judge more hesitant to grant a divorce? Could it be grounds for the judge to issue an order for him and his parents to not be around each other for a while?

If a judge does and he still goes back over there against the order and his parents allow it, would it nullify the order? Could such an order be appealed/cancelled by my husband?