Can an Abusive ex-boyfriend with felonies get visitation?....

[Skyangel667]

I live in Texas and the biological father to my 4 year old child has been calling me at work, my family, and was calling at home till I got the number changed. I first met him when I was 18 and he physically abused me for about 2 years. I had a protective order placed on him in 1997. He stayed away for about a year, but then he swore to me that he had changed so we ended up dating for a about a month and that's when I got pregnant... in 1998. He started acting like a jerk again, became jealous and started throwing things around at my apartment, so I broke up with him before I knew I was pregnant. I told him when I was about 1 month, but he didn't have anything to do with me the whole time I was pregnant. He saw my child about 4 times after he was born... then he dissappeared for about 2 1/2 years. He called me last year with his sad story saying he was locked up because of car theft and beating up some guy. I let him back into my life again thinking he had changed. I took my child to see him a few times, but I never left my child alone with him. I finally let him take him to the park one day. He started acting strange and called me at home accusing me of having guys in my apartment... but it was just me! He said he would bring him home instead of me driving out to his parent's house. So I waited. Well, then he shows up at my house knocking on the door without our kid. So I asked where he was, and my ex said, "in the car". Great... so he goes into the bathroom and I grab my keys to get my kid and get the carseat into the car. He follows me down the stairs then opens the car door to get my kid out since he was asleep. So he's holding my child and I say, "excuse me" so I can get the carseat out. As I reach in I notice a hand in the back seat. I look up and it's some girl ducking and hiding with her head turned, so I couldn't even see her eyes. My ex then says, "don't you f*%ng mad dog her like that". So I say, "im not mad dogging her!" Then I slam the car door, open my car, and put the carseat into the car. I say to him, "Give me my child". But he just stands there staring at me. So I reach out and grab him out of his arms. Then he grabs my face and pushes me back against my car and says, "don't you ever grab my kid out of my arms". Then he says, "do you know what I think of you?" and he spits in my hair. So I calmly walk up the stairs and I then proceed to tell him, "just for that you will never see him again". And he screams, "yes i will and I can and will knock the door down if I have to" Then he starts chasing me up the stairs. I run inside and call the cops. The cops come and they asked me if I wanted to press charges. I wasn't used to that, because every time in the past that I had called the cops on him... they never asked me, they said it was out of my hands and they would have to arrest him. As I was thinking he step mom called me and asked me not to press charges. So I didn't. I explained to him that I couldn't trust him ever again. Well he keeps stalking me at work, calling my job, and he was calling my house till I got the number changed. Now he is having his step mom call me.

Is there any chance he could get visitation with his record? I'm hoping that he can't since I feel he is a big danger to my child as well as myself. I know I can't be around him, and I don't trust him around my child either. He's not on the birth certificate, so I know he would have to prove he's the father and would have to pay child support... but I don't need or want the child support. I just want him out of our lives. My child is doing fine and is well adjusted and never asks for the father. I even ran into the step mom last month and my child was hiding behind me and was scared of the step mom (I guess he had bad feelings). Plus he had nightmares shortly after it happened.

I feel he's a danger, but I need to know all the new legal information in Texas. If there's anyone that can help me or suggest how I go about finding his rights or how I can keep him away... please let me know!

Also the Protective order has expired.

Thanks!

 

[stealth2]

He's the father of the child. And until you have proof that he is a danger to the boy, yes, he can absolutely get visitation, and likely will. Even with proof, he will likely get visitation - but supervised.

From what you described - both of you behaved badly in front to the kid. Both of you need to stop.

 

[Skyangel667]

I trusted him and I really don't think I did anything wrong besides telling him that I wouldn't let him see the child. I did that out of fear and anger. I was scared that he was going to attack me! Every time he has every seen him was because I drove him out to see the father. He has only made 1 effort to come get him and that's what happened. He also does not have a job, never paid for any child support, and I found out later that he was on cocaine and speed.

So, I guess the hard part is finding proof! I will do everything in my power to keep him away. I just wanted to find out how and where I can get more information on laws.

Is there anyone that knows where I can search for more info in Texas?


Thanks

 

[stealth2]

Taking the keys, grabbing the child, telling him he'll never see the child again - all of it helped exacerbate an already tense situation. State info can be found at divorcenet.com, as well as (I believe) the home page of this site.

 

[Skyangel667]

I never took his keys. I took my keys to open my car to put my child's carseat into my car. I also went outside to wait for him to open his car and to make sure our son was ok since he was left alone (at least I thought). We were not dating or even together at the time, so I could have cared less that there was a girl in the car... but that he had lied to me saying he was alone and he was screaming at me because I looked at her.
I got mad and yes I reached out to grab our son, but He handed him over to me.

He was the one that pushed me infront of our son AND spit on me.

I really don't think I did anything wrong except saying what I said, but If you were in that situation, what do you think you would have said?

He's threatened to kill me and my family and he has almost killed me a few times.

I'm not trying to force you to be on "my side" but there is just more that I know about the situation than you do and I just wanted information, not to be told who was right and who was wrong.

Thanks for the site... but we were never married.

 

[stealth2]

The sites have info for people who were never married - it's a starting point.

The spin you've put on the incident is quite different than what you first posted. Be that as it may - right, wrong... doesn't matter except for what a judge might think. And yes, I've been in similar situations - my first thought has always been for what would be the best thing for my children. Which includes keeping my mouth shut no matter the provocation.

 

[Skyangel667]

And I do think about my child first. But it happened so fast, I got scared, panicked, and I wasn't perfect. And Jesus was the only perfect person. I wish I could take that part back, but I can't. I'm just glad that my child is safe and nothing more happened.


Anyway, I checked out that site, but it's not found. It doesn't exist with www.divorcenet.com

 

[Skyangel667]

Nevermind...

I just tried it again and it worked.

 

[shanon27]

Re: Nevermind...

I just tried it again and it worked.

I have gone through the same thing .. I understand why you acted the way you did , and I do not believe it was because you are not putting your child first .
Why is it we are always expected to take the abuse and do nothing about it ? When we do re-act , we are bad mothers ? Only people who have been it that situation would truely know the fear and anger that one would feel .
I have been in the same situation , and I acted much like you !! I know I am a good mother , and it sounds to me like you are too .

 

[shanon27]

Re: Nevermind...

I just tried it again and it worked.

I have gone through the same thing .. I understand why you acted the way you did , and I do not believe it was because you are not putting your child first .
Why is it we are always expected to take the abuse and do nothing about it ? When we do re-act , we are bad mothers ? Only people who have been it that situation would truely know the fear and anger that one would feel .
I have been in the same situation , and I acted much like you !!hang in there

 

[Skyangel667]

Thank you Shannon! You are so right.... I can't even count how many times I was abused by him in the past and I never said a word... I just took it. Then the one time I say something back......

Thanks!!!! I'm trying to "hang in there" as much as I can!!!

 

[justme589]

How long has it been since he's seen the child? In many states, if he makes no contact with the child and pays no support for one year, you can claim that he has abandoned his son and try to have his parental rights terminated. Some states it's only 6 months. You might try looking at divorcesource.com and also try going to your state's official website and start researching state code.

(I'm not an attorney, so this is just a friendly suggestion...)

 

[Skyangel667]

Originally he didn't see my child for 2 1/2 years. He never tried to get in contact with us. The last time he saw my child was in July of 2002, so It's almost been a year. And he has never paid child support.
Thank you for the advice, I will check into it!!

 

[Skyangel667]

I just thought about this. He actually doesn't have rights... since he isn't on the birthcertificate. I talked to him recently and told him that he needed to prove he was the father first. If he has any interest in really seeing my child then he will do what he has to do.
If that happens and he gets visitation... then I will do everything in my power to make sure he gets supervised visitation. He has a horrible temper and I just don't trust him alone with my child.......