Can he do this?

[Leticia0516]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ca

hello everyone..i just have a question.. the father of my child had took me to court and tryed to get full custody but he lost and we got joint custody.. all this happened in 2007 our daughter was 7 then...

i was staying in southern California at the time... he resides in northern California yes i drove all the way up northern California
to the court hearing so i dont loose and to show im there for my kid..

now from 2007-2009 i had to drive up all the time to get my kid. he would NOT let her get on a plane cause he say she to young.. but im sure thats not the reason because there alot of families i sure of are letting there kids on the planes.. so i let 3 years go by with dealing with this but now it has gotten to me and exspecially since the ecomony is messed up now.

now another thing is i just moved to Tennessee to help take care of a family member i been here since may 2010 for the summer i ask the father if he would let her some out her and he said no she to young ... she 10 now.. So now for the summer i had to fly out there to see her.. so now Christmas is around the corner and he still will not let her come out here...

now the thing is.. can he do this? what should i do? my daughter wants to come here but he wont let her.... i have paid for all everything since 2007 so i dont see what the problem is..

now if he doesnt let me see her for the hoildays can i used this againist him in court.. and get more time with her since he may make me loose my time with her..?

 

[justalayman]

the terms of custody and visitation should be in the courts order. Generally, you are entitled to have your child whenever the order says you are to have her. As to taking her out of state; that is very often a situation that requires the other parents or even the courts approval. The bigger problem is not so much simply taking your child out of state for something such as a vacation, it appears you have relocated to Tennessee for the foreseeable future. If it wasn't addressed by the courts already, you will likely have to do so for the sake of clarification.

as to mode of transportation; again, that is something you need to have addressed by the courts. Personally, I would not want my 10 yo child travelling alone on a plane. I doubt I would be comfortable with them travelling alone as a minor, period.

 

[WittyUserName]

the terms of custody and visitation should be in the courts order. Generally, you are entitled to have your child whenever the order says you are to have her. As to taking her out of state; that is very often a situation that requires the other parents or even the courts approval. The bigger problem is not so much simply taking your child out of state for something such as a vacation, it appears you have relocated to Tennessee for the foreseeable future. If it wasn't addressed by the courts already, you will likely have to do so for the sake of clarification.

as to mode of transportation; again, that is something you need to have addressed by the courts. Personally, I would not want my 10 yo child travelling alone on a plane. I doubt I would be comfortable with them travelling alone as a minor, period.

Depends on the child, and the parent, and the distance involved. My 8yo has been flying solo for 2 years, and it's been great. We've only ever done 60-90 minute direct flights, though. And she'd flown extensively with adults first so she knows what to expect. But all the airlines we've ever used have done beautifully in terms of taking care of her.

Letiticia, you may be looking at going back to court to get the order changed to allow your daughter to fly. Are you planning on staying in TN? Or will you be back in CA eventually?

 

[Leticia0516]

Depends on the child, and the parent, and the distance involved. My 8yo has been flying solo for 2 years, and it's been great. We've only ever done 60-90 minute direct flights, though. And she'd flown extensively with adults first so she knows what to expect. But all the airlines we've ever used have done beautifully in terms of taking care of her.

Letiticia, you may be looking at going back to court to get the order changed to allow your daughter to fly. Are you planning on staying in TN? Or will you be back in CA eventually?

@ witty

see thats the thing i know parents are flying there kids back and forth all the time weather the like it or not it just court rules.. i just belive he just wants me to give up on her but that will never happen he just wants things his way i feel he is being selfish and just looking out for himself and not our daughter... cause like i said he wants to come out here and vist me... i would only put her on a non stop flight and i belive its only a 4 hour flight... No i do not plan on stayin in Tenneseee this is only temp. just to help take care of family then i plan on going back to California.. but either way i just feel he should be able to do this to me or our kid..

 

[justalayman]

Depends on the child, and the parent, and the distance involved. My 8yo has been flying solo for 2 years, and it's been great. We've only ever done 60-90 minute direct flights, though. And she'd flown extensively with adults first so she knows what to expect. But all the airlines we've ever used have done beautifully in terms of taking care of her.
?

well, to start with, Northern California to Tennessee is about 4 hours of flight time and more than likely will require at least 1 transfer. Another point that really bothers me is "the airlines we've used have done beautifully in terms of taking care of her". Sorry but I do not want nor expect an airline company to take care of my child. It is my responsibility to take care of my child so until they are capable of taking this undertaking without some other entity taking care of them, I believe it is a lack of responsibility of any parent to allow this.



No, you are not showing your child how much you trust them. You are showing them you aren't willing to escort them and are willing to put them in the hands of strangers. Especially on a connecting flight I cannot imagine asking a child to deal with a layover let alone the current security screening process.




but, if that is what little you care about your child, here are some of the airlines rules:

Kids Flying Solo Guide

 

[WittyUserName]

@ witty

see thats the thing i know parents are flying there kids back and forth all the time weather the like it or not it just court rules.. i just belive he just wants me to give up on her but that will never happen he just wants things his way i feel he is being selfish and just looking out for himself and not our daughter... cause like i said he wants to come out here and vist me... i would only put her on a non stop flight and i belive its only a 4 hour flight... No i do not plan on stayin in Tenneseee this is only temp. just to help take care of family then i plan on going back to California.. but either way i just feel he should be able to do this to me or our kid..

Here's the thing - the likelihood that you'll be able to do this before Christmas is pretty much nil. There's unlikely to be any way to get a court date by then. Long term, you could certainly go back to court and discuss the flight situation with a judge. But short term? You'll need to make some decisions about what you want to do, whether that's fly out & spend Christmas in CA or not.

 

[WittyUserName]

well, to start with, Northern California to Tennessee is about 4 hours of flight time and more than likely will require at least 1 transfer. Another point that really bothers me is "the airlines we've used have done beautifully in terms of taking care of her". Sorry but I do not want nor expect an airline company to take care of my child. It is my responsibility to take care of my child so until they are capable of taking this undertaking without some other entity taking care of them, I believe it is a lack of responsibility of any parent to allow this.



No, you are not showing your child how much you trust them. You are showing them you aren't willing to escort them and are willing to put them in the hands of strangers. Especially on a connecting flight I cannot imagine asking a child to deal with a layover let alone the current security screening process.




but, if that is what little you care about your child, here are some of the airlines rules:

Kids Flying Solo Guide

Parenting difference. And gee, how lovely of you to assume I care so little about my child. Good thing you're not the judge.

 

[justalayman]

are you willing to go the extra mile and fly to her at dad's house and fly along with her, both ways? Obviously it will cost a lot more to do that but if flying alone is dads only objection, then that should remove his objections and allow you to spend Christmas with your child.

 

[WittyUserName]

are you willing to go the extra mile and fly to her at dad's house and fly along with her, both ways? Obviously it will cost a lot more to do that but if flying alone is dads only objection, then that should remove his objections and allow you to spend Christmas with your child.

OP please clarify - is the issue the child flying alone, or the child leaving California? I read your post as Dad doesn't want the child in TN and would prefer you come to CA for the holiday.

 

[Cassandra123]

Sorry but I do not want nor expect an airline company to take care of my child. It is my responsibility to take care of my child so until they are capable of taking this undertaking without some other entity taking care of them, I believe it is a lack of responsibility of any parent to allow this.

Wow... judgmental, much? Thousands of children fly safely every day. Probably much safer than letting children go to school.

No, you are not showing your child how much you trust them. You are showing them you aren't willing to escort them and are willing to put them in the hands of strangers. Especially on a connecting flight I cannot imagine asking a child to deal with a layover let alone the current security screening process.

The OP already said she is not talking about connecting flights. Parents on both ends escort children to or from the gate. No one should allow a small child to navigate through security and find their gate.... and that is not how it works.

Not everyone can afford to fly two additional round trips to have their child visit. If it was required, many children would miss the opportunity to be with the NCP.

 

[Leticia0516]

Wow... judgmental, much? Thousands of children fly safely every day. Probably much safer than letting children go to school.



The OP already said she is not talking about connecting flights. Parents on both ends escort children to or from the gate. No one should allow a small child to navigate through security and find their gate.... and that is not how it works.

Not everyone can afford to fly two additional round trips to have their child visit. If it was required, many children would miss the opportunity to be with the NCP.

i dont know what its it is it might be both her flying alone and leaving California... but i just feel say the table were turned and i had her full time he would make it mandatory that she get on a plane to see him but in my case he just being a a**hole.
plus i dont think kids under 12 or close to that age can change planes that have to have a direct flight.

 

[justalayman]

=Cassandra123;2691989]Wow... judgmental, much? Thousands of children fly safely every day. Probably much safer than letting children go to school.

Judgmental, sure. Is there a problem with that. We all judge others continuously whether you want to accept that truth or not. I have no problem admitting I do it. Apparenltly you do.

and if you say you don't, isn't your statement "wow, judgmental, much?" a judgmental statement of me?

The OP already said she is not talking about connecting flights. Parents on both ends escort children to or from the gate. No one should allow a small child to navigate through security and find their gate.... and that is not how it works.

I don't care. A child 8 or 10 years old has no business being without direct parental supervision, especially for at least 4 hours.

Try leaving an 8 yo child home alone for at least 4 hours (gee, what if we have delays? we better toss in another couple of hours for that), so 6 hours, alone at home and see who screams a child shouldn't be alone for 4 hours, let alone 6.

Not everyone can afford to fly two additional round trips to have their child visit. If it was required, many children would miss the opportunity to be with the NCP.

Gee, maybe parents should think about this when
1. they have children
2. they move somewhere far away from their children when they get divorced

You can rationalize it all you want and make claims all you want as to how safe it is but all it takes is one time for something to happen and it might be your child that is in trouble.

Oh, and to your :"walk them to the gate and such"

A father watched as his 11-year-old son Seth embarked on a flight alone to visit family. Seeing Seth walk down the runway, he went home, assuming his son would arrive safely. Six hours later, he discovered Seth had walked off the plane before departure. He left the airport, stopped at a gas station for directions and trotted 30 miles along an interstate to his home town

I guess nothing can happen as long as it isn't a connecting flight and the parent walks them TO THE PLANE!!!.

 

[justalayman]

.
plus i dont think kids under 12 or close to that age can change planes that have to have a direct flight.

I provided a link that provided most major airlines policies.Apparently you would be quite surprised what they allow.


just because something is allowed doesn't mean it is a good idea.

 

[WittyUserName]

You would think that Little Seth would merit an actual news story somewhere....I've seen that story before but oddly with no actual location, airline, date, or arrest report for Seth's parents.

Nonetheless, back to the legal reality. OP asked if Dad can make the decision not to send the child on a flight. Yes, he can. And Mom is well within her rights to take that issue back to court and have it heard by a judge who will weigh all the evidence presented and then make a decision.

 

[justalayman]

Nonetheless, back to the legal reality.

and that is what I said long ago.

verifiable incidents:

UMNRs – Unaccompanied Minors | Flight Wisdom

It turns out Continental misplaced 2 girls on weekend Express flights | cleveland.com

but Hell, they're somebody else's kids. It could never happen to your children.