can i get it lowered

[cananyonehelp]

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If you have these things then I see no reason why any judge would deny you, what is rightfully yours....normal, liberal visitation with your child.

Why doubt this? The court rule in favor of the woman alot more then the father. Unless the father has the money for a top ten attorney or in my case when the father finds an attorney with a heart of GOLD. I make an honest living but even when my x had her and played her game I never let my daughter know how bad she was. She told every how bad I was... I didn’t pay child support... I didn’t see my daughter.. I didn’t call my daughter... ect. Lie after lie. Hell she moved over 18 times in three years so the attorney general would hold the check till they could locate her. She stopped my current wife from picking her up when I work on Wednesdays because it wasn’t me. She told me how I was a bad dad every time I called to talk to my daughter. So no and so on I could write a book on the matter lol... I thank God that gave me a great attorney and I got custody of my daughter. He went above and beyond because I have Sole custody. When the day is done, the sad thing is when these men or woman do this they scare the kids for life.

 

[snodderly]

im just so tired of samantha treating me like a dead beat dad for living out of state, even tho when im down visiting she wont even give me an extra 20 mins to spend with my daughter...

You didn't answer my questions!! If you are going to go to court and prevail then you have got to stop focusing on how samantha treats you and start focusing on learning the laws and proving your case.

Emotions do not play a part in a judges rulings sydney. A judge is not going to want to hear how you don't like her or how badly you think she has treated you. A judge wants proof that you have a stable environment and have proof that you have tried to father this child.

Answer my questions please. My ex is active duty military. I'm quite aware of what it means to spend time in a war zone the way you have. I also know from experience with friends that a judge will not base a lack of visitation based on the fact that you are military and in another state. In most situations they will try and make amends due to the fact that you are a active duty military.

You need to put the emotions aside though and start working on proving that your rights are not being met....answer my questions!
snodderly

 

[snodderly]

I thank God that gave me a great attorney and I got custody of my daughter. He went above and beyond because I have Sole custody. When the day is done, the sad thing is when these men or woman do this they scare the kids for life.

The court eventually ruled in your favor!! Why should I discourage sydney and tell him he probably has no chance. He does have a chance. If he has the stamina and the drive he has a chance. That is what it took for you!

I have very little faith in the family court system. I learned the hard way that it takes years of perseverance to get justice for ourselves and our children. It does eventually happen though and I am one who believes that, no matter how long it takes, our children are worth the time and effort.

If sydney pays attention, gets his focus on the legal issues and off the emotional ones he has a very good chance of getting more visitation with his daughter.
snodderly

 

[sydney1205]

well yes i have written down eveything that goes on...no i dont keep track of every single card i send her,i would imagine i have proof of stable income, i have all my LES's. im in the military your guaranteed a pay every month, hell if they want they can come inspect my home. i keep track of all the snotty conversations her and i have on the phone when it comes to seeing my daughter, buuut like you just said, there not interested in our little arguments.so eys i do have proof she will be stable while she is at my home.

 

[cananyonehelp]

Your the one with the problems....re: mouth. You spouted off at me about issues you were not knowledgable about. I suggest next time you do some background research before you rip someone apart.

As i read this I said hey maybe she aint so bad.... But I just cant accept any man or woman tell the other to give there rights to a child for reason such as the ones in this post!!!
This leads me to believe some of what you say, but on the other had I think you are lying to yourself about some of the things.

If I went into all my x wife did it would make your x look like a saint!

DONT think for one second your kids don’t see your anger you have toward your X. Does it affect them? YES

Get off your soapbox and do what is right for them, and quit bashing a father who was so down he made a bad choice in the way he phrased his post. It’s hard for a father in a system that is geared for the mom. It would have been better for him to phrase it I make less now can I get my child support lowered.

 

[stealth2]

But I just cant accept any man or woman tell the other to give there rights to a child for reason such as the ones in this post!!!

You DO, of course, realize that the OP actually did post askign how to terminate his rights, don't you?

 

[cananyonehelp]

The court eventually ruled in your favor!! Why should I discourage sydney and tell him he probably has no chance. He does have a chance. If he has the stamina and the drive he has a chance. That is what it took for you!

I have very little faith in the family court system. I learned the hard way that it takes years of perseverance to get justice for ourselves and our children. It does eventually happen though and I am one who believes that, no matter how long it takes, our children are worth the time and effort.

If sydney pays attention, gets his focus on the legal issues and off the emotional ones he has a very good chance of getting more visitation with his daughter.
snodderly!

Thank Heaven some good advice. Why didnt you say that to begin with, it would have helped.

I thank God for proving a way for me to get child

 

[sydney1205]

yes i did, and yes im embarassed about it, my head spun for a minute, but im not about to give up my daughter, i guess the only thing left to do is keep fighting, and yes he is right, it is hard for a father ESPECIALLY IN PA...

 

[cananyonehelp]

You DO, of course, realize that the OP actually did post askign how to terminate his rights, don't you?

Yes, I saw that and it makes me sick.

 

[cananyonehelp]

Syd you need to delete that tread, to do that go to the first post on the tread and delete it. It will delete the whole thing


https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=189690

 

[snodderly]

But I just cant accept any man or woman tell the other to give there rights to a child for reason such as the ones in this post!!!

Have you ever heard of reverse psychology. I said it knowing it was the exact opposite of what the man wanted to do. Sometimes people are motivated by positive reinforcement, sometimes they are motivated by negative reinforcement....that is what I was giving sydney, a little negative reinforcement.

DONT think for one second your kids don’t see your anger you have toward your X. Does it affect them? YES

I don't bash my children's father in front of them. I can do some good bitch bonding with a girlfriend over a glass of wine and really rake his butt over the coals but my children don't ever hear it.

My ex went from being an overly involved father to being completely uninvolved in his children's lives. I will always that he had some kind of emotional crisis and has lost his way. I think he probably struggles daily over the entire situation and is just too lost and has no idea how to find his way back to them. That is what I tell my children about their father. I tell them to reach out to him because I believe he is in trouble and in pain also. No one goes from being an exceptional husband and father over night without there being something terribly wrong and believe me, I'm not holding a gun to his head and making him stay away from his children.

Like I said before, if this man called me there is nothing in the world I would not do for him to help him repair his relationship with his children. His anger at me won't allow him to do that though so his relationship with his children continues to fall apart. I can only do so much for someone. If he is unwilling to accept the help I offer him and his children's therapist offers him then I have done all that is expected of me.

He is rarely mentioned in our house any longer. Not because he no longer matters to his children, but because he has acted in a way toward them that they find it too painful to talk about him.

sydney is being bashed because he just doesn't seem to get it. He is wrapped around the axle and responding in an emotional way. That is the very thing that will cost him more visitation with his daughter.
snodderly

 

[sydney1205]

yes i will do that right now actually

 

[sydney1205]

ok well im done with the threads now, i want to thank the ones that helped me and made me realize i was an ******* for thinking of signing my rights over...

 

[LdiJ]

well yes i have written down eveything that goes on...no i dont keep track of every single card i send her,i would imagine i have proof of stable income, i have all my LES's. im in the military your guaranteed a pay every month, hell if they want they can come inspect my home. i keep track of all the snotty conversations her and i have on the phone when it comes to seeing my daughter, buuut like you just said, there not interested in our little arguments.so eys i do have proof she will be stable while she is at my home.

I am not sure how much your stability is going to matter at this point (not that it doesn't matter, just that it may not be the deciding factor). I think what's going to be more critical is the age of your child, how long its been since you returned from Iraq, and how much time you have spent with her since. If she was young enough when you went that she didn't really know you when you came back...then an adjustment period is need for the two of you to "re-bond". If the judge feels that adjustment period isn't finished, then you may not get what you are asking for right away. If the judge feels that it is, then you probably will.

 

[cananyonehelp]

Have you ever heard of reverse psychology?

What a fine psychology you have. Let me ask you a question. If you turn on the news and a man is just about to jump off a 50 story build. Do you think for a minute the negotiator is up there saying JUMP!!! NO… he looking to help him not kick him in the ass and watch him fall. Take you so called wise and hurts someone else. I really take this personal because military life is hard enough on this man and his relationship with his daughter. I’ve walk a mile in the combat boot, so quit pointing your finger at his mistake

I will always that he had some kind of emotional crisis

Did you use reverse psychology on him? It sure seemed to work here!!!

No one goes from being an exceptional husband and father over night without they’re being something terribly wrong and believe me,

Exactly

He is rarely mentioned in our house any longer. Not because he no longer matters to his children, but because he has acted in a way toward them that they find it too painful to talk about him.

That’s using wisdom

sydney is being bashed because he just doesn't seem to get it

Why cant you seem to see? Pull the telephone pole out of your eye before you worry about the toothpick in someone else’s eye.