can i get it lowered

[sydney1205]

oh and you say shes your kid just pay your childsupport, well that is exactly what i want to do, i get called a bad father bc i ask if i can get it lowered bc i have a vehicle, just because i have a CHILD to this woman doesnt mean i have to make sure her MOTHER has a roof over her head, that is HER responsibilty, her and her husband need to provide for thereselves WHICH THERE NOT DOING.

 

[stealth2]

not to sound rude..but i asked my daughter what she bought with ehr money, QUOTE]

And it is not your daughter's money, sid. It's your contribution for her needs. Surely you must realize that it takes more than $500/mo to house, feed & clothe a child. That additional money is coming from SOMEWHERE, whether she's working or not.

 

[haiku]

not to sound rude..but i asked my daughter what she bought with ehr money, QUOTE]

And it is not your daughter's money, sid. It's your contribution for her needs. Surely you must realize that it takes more than $500/mo to house, feed & clothe a child. That additional money is coming from SOMEWHERE, whether she's working or not.

Stealth I sure hope he didn't send this 4 year old the 500 child support in her birthday card LOL

Sydney1205? Next birthday may I suggest a mailed toy from Amazon.com?they even make lovely suggestions, if you have no idea what your 4 year old would like. that way YOU get the joy of buying your kid a gift YOU picked. And I bet she would like it (at 4) a lot better than cash.

 

[tigger2two]

ok this is for tigger, listen here, didnt you just say how you get 1200 for support and month AND money from your husband dieing, so dont YOU tell me about work, i work and come home to my daughter i have now and care for her...yeah you sit on your ass and collect all of this money, YOU DONT HAVE TO WORK, yah taking care of children is a responsibility, but you have all this money just FLOWING IN SO YOU NEED TO BE DOING ALL YOUR DOING, YOU DONT HAVE TO WORK TO SUPPORT YOUR KIDS!!!!! ALL THE MONEY YOUR GETTING YOU DAMN WELL NEED TO BE COOKING GOOD MEALS AND CLEANING.theres no reason why you should be getting all this money and not running for your kids, damn you need some kind of rsponsibilty, and when i send money for my daughter IN A CARD, it damn well is her money to buy herself a toy or whatever she wants!!! her mom doesnt get every last cent i send her!

NO sir i dont need to be doing all of this bc i get all that money, I need to be doing everything that i happily do bc MY kids are my responsibility and bc i love them and love doing those things. And WHERE out of all of that did you get the idea that i sit around on my ASS!!! Bc there is no time for that i can assure you that. And I would much rather have my husband back then to get the check that i do from his VA benifits. But bc that check is more than his salary and mine where combined, I chose to take some time off and be with my kids full time. And my reasoning for that was bc for most of their infant life that wasn't an option. I did however just resently get a job that has perfect hours. (just found out yesterday i got it) I have an accounting back ground and found a company that will allow me to work from 8-230 so that i can still be with my kids full time when they are home. I'm not saying that you aren't paying to much or that you are. My LEGAL advice to you was to get an attorney and go for a modification. That is the only way you are going to get any kind of results!!!!!So quit moaning and complaining here and do something about it if you really have a problem with it.

 

[thebetterhalf]

Life is like a box of chocolates

Live is full of choices. You shouldn't knock your X for what she is doing but maybe take lessons from her. Sounds like she is getting over on you big time. You have the same choice to remarry or not to remarry. See if you remarried and moved in with your new in-laws than you would be on level ground again. You would have more money if you played your cards right or you can keep working the way you are and hold your head up knowing that you are done what is right instead of being a leech like your X's new hubby. Have you ever thought that you maybe paying his CS that he maybe ordered to pay? You maybe supporting two children instead of just your child if he isn't working either. (I figured that might tick you off to know that they might be given your money to support his kid if he has children from someone else or maybe he's still hiding out and running from his responsiblities.) As long as they have you working why not sit at home and do nothing. Point is, Life is about choices. You chose to have sex or to not, You chose to marry and divorce, You chose to be a bum or work, You can choose to stay single or remarry, You can chose to stay in the financial mess you are in or you can chose to find ways to bring in more money. It sounds like you need to get off your rear and take control of your life instead of whining about how unfair every thing is. Are you complaining because after all your bills are paid you don't have enough money to go out on, or to eat out all the time, or to buy new clothes every time you look around. That's life when you have children. They come first. If this is not the case and you are having trouble paying your bills, than don't worry you won't have your new car long for they will come and get it. See how that works. That will be two less bills to pay. Insurance and car payment instantly removed. Sounds like you need to get your priorities in check and start making some good decisions with your life for a change instead of looking for the easy way out. I don't think you are going to get any sympathy here and you have already been given all your legal information earlier. Take a deep breath and GROW UP!

 

[sydney1205]

no i didnt say i sent her 500 in a birthday card! ya the shild support she gets my ex needs to buy her supplies she needs, im talking about when i just send her a i miss you card, because i went active duty and live out of state and dont get to see ehr as much as i used to, so i send her cards with money in it.so, that is her money.

 

[tigger2two]

the only suggustion we can give you for that is what has already been given. Go ahead and pick her something nice out and send it. weather it be a toy a movie clothes or whatever. When i was a little girl i loved it when my daddy picked out my gift. Him and my mom were together but gifts from my father were always more important to me. I still even have a stuffed animal my dad got me on a business trip he made. I was 4, when i got it my parents tell me. Simple solution to that though. Don't send money in a card anymore. Its terrible that your ex would do that but you can't stop her either.

 

[sydney1205]

haiku, i think you need to take a better look at things before you run your mouth thinking your slick,did i ever once say BIRTHDAY CARD, no i dont think so, so dont you make one suggestion about my daughters bd like im some clown that would do that ok?

 

[haiku]

haiku, i think you need to take a better look at things before you run your mouth thinking your slick,did i ever once say BIRTHDAY CARD, no i dont think so, so dont you make one suggestion about my daughters bd like im some clown that would do that ok?

umm...maybe you "need to take a better look at things.why so rude? hate to break it to you, the FIRST part of my post referenced "STEALTH" (I was defending you.....not that that matters NOW)NOT you.

 

[stealth2]

haiku, i think you need to take a better look at things before you run your mouth thinking your slick,did i ever once say BIRTHDAY CARD, no i dont think so, so dont you make one suggestion about my daughters bd like im some clown that would do that ok?

You also never said that it was EXTRA money that you were sending - all you'd talked about was the $500 in CS. SO maybe YOU should think about trying to write a little more clearly, eh?

 

[snodderly]

sydney, you said that your daughter told you that her mother had purchased herself a new outfit with this extra money that you had sent to her. Did you really send enough money that the mother could buy a new outfit?

Stop sending the child money!! Go to Toys-R-Us and buy her a gift certificate if you are not sure what sort of toy to buy. If you are active duty and maybe out of the country send her something representative to the part of the world you are in.

She is not going to care what you send. All she will care about is that Daddy sent something. My son still has a zip-lock back full of sand from Saudi Arabia that his father sent him when he was five. It's one of his most prized possessions. Another is an old soda bottle that his father found buried in the desert. They don't need money or special things. They just need to know they are thought about.

If you are concerned that her mom is going to take advantage of the situation then make sure you send things mom won't be interested in. I can assure you, the daughter will love it, no matter what it is.
snodderly

 

[sydney1205]

im sorry i got rude, its just ill say something and then half the people switch it around and make it sound liek im saying something else. and yeah the money i sent her in the card, could have been enough for an outfit, look if you dont believe me, then dont reply to my questions, im not gonna first sit here and beg you to believe me then ask for your advice.i know what im talking about.

 

[sydney1205]

i also have another question, i kept going back and trying to get more visitation, i live out of state, i live in ny and my daughter is living in Pa with her mother. since i only get to see ehr once a month, i wanted to go back to court and get it modified so that over the summer i can bring her to ym own home for a couple weeks, but my x didnt agree to it so i was left sitting in the counsel room crying once again. but, there are things my x does that are not appropriate, for example, when i was going active duty and first moving out of state, my x looked right at my daughter in front of me and said " say bye to daddy, he is moving so he dont have to see you" that was at the time where my x was pissed bc i was getting married and blah blah, that immature crap. then not to long ago, its in the visitation agreement, that no third party shall smoke around the child, meaning my wife bc she smokes.so when we have my daughter, my wife will exit our own vehicle to smoke, she has no problem with that, well last time we met to pick her up, my wife got out of the car to smoke a cigg bc my daughter was getting in the car, well my x hurry and put her back in her car saying no smoking allowed, even tho my wife was out side, so, she made my daughter who i didnt see for a couple weeks, sit in ehr car and cry daddy daddy, for 15 minutes, " we both arrived a couple mins early, and she was mad about my wife" so she made my daughter sit in the car while i was standing right outside of it crying for me, well when i bring that stuff up in court its always over looked and they never say anything to her, i was just wondering if that is something that should be really over looked?

 

[cananyonehelp]

I love dads like this. 500 is way to much I have a car payment, big whoop!! 500 for a 4 yr old is pennies to what it costs for everything.

When I started reading this tread, I said damn. The more I read it I see, he’s not a bad guy, he just has concerns. I can’t agree with lowering child support because your bills are too high. I will say this, if you were making more money when your child support was set go back to court and let them know you make less now. You child support is a set percentage of what you make, so if you are making less now they should lower it.

woahh ok, so its ok if her mother and her husband cant make it on there own, but it isnt ok if i cant? that is just bull****, ok mommy cant get a job but if daddy has trouble with 500 a month he is a dead beat, i dont think so. i see how you take things into consideration, mommy can be a bum so daddy ahs to work his ass off, i dont even think so.let me tell you somthing a 4 year old doesnt need 500 dollars worth of clothes a month. .

Look I see were this pisses you off and I can tell you are new at this. I will give you some advice from a father who paid child support until I gained custody in November of 2003. Don’t worry about what she does with the money you cant change it! The things you need to do are love your daughter and always make sure she knows that. Don’t complain about what she is doing, because if you are a good dad it will only bite her in the ass later. Don’t tell her bad thing about her mom this will only drive a wedge between you and your daughter. If her mom tells her you moved to get away, call your daughter as much as you can. These are thing that will make her know her dad loves her. Always send Gifts … NEVER money. A gift means more because you should know what your daughter likes and when she gets it she know you were thinking of her when you purchased it. The point I am trying to make is don’t worry about the things you cant change…. Worry about what you can change. Don’t let your X steal you happiness with you daughter, because that what she wants!!! We are adult we make bad choice, but a child get thrown into bad situation when parents split up. You will have to live with your wrong choice but you will always have daddy little girl. I know how much it hurt to se your child hurt, I saw it for years in my little girl and I still see the effect it having on her today. This sounds funny but the best way to handle your x wife is to be nice to her know matter how vindictive she is. Believe it or not YOU WILL STEAL HER THUNDER… is it easy NO.. But your child will always see her daddy doing everything in his power to get along with mommy. This is how a child know as they get older who truly LOVES them because one who love never think of his self not matter how much he hurts

Child support is not the child's money. It is the mother's money to use as she sees fit to help provide for said child. .

THIS IS HORSE SH*T.. This is not spousal support or alimony IT IS FOR THE CHILD

and when I send money for my daughter IN A CARD, .

Save yourself the grief and buy her a gift. That gift will mean more to her than money and don’t worry about it getting taken back to toys R us…. You have no control over that.

And it is not your daughter's money, sid. It's your contribution for her needs. Surely you must realize that it takes more than $500/mo to house, feed & clothe a child.

NEEDS

Single person has to live in a house or apartment
750 a month for a one bedroom
875 for a two bedroom
125 for the child

Food for a single person
200 a month with leftovers.. lol
300 a month with a child
100 a month for the child’s food

and so on… then both party are responsible for supporting the child so 500 hundred a month is really 1000 a month. If a child cost 1000 dollars a month than why do claim that on taxes??? Huh? Even the government doesn’t think it cost that much!!!!

my x looked right at my daughter in front of me and said " say bye to daddy, he is moving so he don’t have to see you".

Can you change it? No but your reaction will affect the child

well last time we met to pick her up, my wife got out of the car to smoke a cigg bc my daughter was getting in the car.

Learn from this no matter how petty it seems don’t let it happen again. If you know she will react to certain situations in negative way don’t let them happen. The sad thing is your child had to suffer

when I bring that stuff up in court it’s always over looked and they never say anything to her, .

From you from her it doesn’t matter, the court worry more about the big picture and they will get frustrated with you bring up small stuff. When I say small stuff I know to it seems big, but understand there are people out there doing drugs, criminal activities, ect. So when you go into a court room and say she would not let me have my daughter for 15 minutes that is small fish.

Oh and by the way THANKS for serving this great country we live in.

 

[cananyonehelp]

Hey sid you really should delete your other post(giving up your rights) God forbid she see it and print it out... I know that not what you wanted to do, just understand one thing. This world is full of little girl who did get the attention from there father and found it the wrong way. Its a dads job to look out for his little girl... you kow OIL THE SHOT GUN or LAY THE M16 ON THE TABLE WHEN THE DATE ARRIVES TO PICK HER UP.. lol