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Can I request a Mediator?

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GinAA

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

My EX and I had gotten along with the matters concerning our son until last year when he was remarried. Our son is 15 now and we separated just after he turned 1 yr old. As I have posted before, my son was having some issues doing as he is told. That has gotten much better, I must say.

My son mentioned to me about a week ago, that he wanted to be baptised. I have no issue with this except that we have never gone to church or are affiliated with one where we live. His father does not attend a church where he lives either. I told my son that I would have to discuss it with his father before I would make any decision about it but I did ask him why, out of the blue, he wants to be baptised. He said, "Because it would give me the right to go to church functions reguardless of my restrictions." I tried not to let my jaw hit the floor. I told him that wasn't a good reason and he told me that he has already talked to his father about it and they were going to talk to the Army Chaplin while he was there over Spring break. I ended the discussion with my son at that point.

I emailed his father and just simply said that our son had mentioned to me that he has been talking to him about getting baptised. I asked if he and I could meet, over lunch or dinner (I even offered to buy), so that we could sit down and calmly discuss the issue and other issues concerning his behaviour lately. I explained that we needed to start being on the same page and talking to each other more about disciplin so our son could have better consistancy in our co-parenting. His father replied that meeting one on one wouldn't be possible since he doesn't do anything behind his wife's back and that she would have to be with him to discuss the issues.

So lets just say that I tried to explain to him, legally and in laymen's terms, that she wasn't involved in the creation of our son so she has no input into OUR conversations concerning how we decide to raise him. He keeps replying that she has every right to her input and I have to consider what she says. I explained the legalities to him about step-parents and that I can't control what they discuss together but she will have no say in a conversation between he and I.

I have stopped trying to explain this to him. So my question is:

Can I request a mediator through the courts so that My EX and I can sit down and talk about OUR son and make some decisions? I know if it's through the courts, he cannot bring his wife to the meetings and if he refuses to meet because of that fact, he will have to answer to a judge.

Thanks.
 


chronicle

Member
I know you can hire a mediator outside of the court system (though it doesn't sound like Ex would do that)

In my state, I believe if you file for a modification, or if you have the EX charged with violating the standing order, the judge has the option of (and I am told almost always does) sending you both to mediation before you hit the courtroom.

Can you call your clerk of court and ask if this is a possibility?
 

GinAA

Member
I have to file to modify the visitation order and we would have to not agree on the majority of the issues, which we do not.

I can also have my lawyer send him a letter to request a meeting between he and I ( and his lawyer) and require that no one else attend. If he refuses this, something can be filed to the court as well. No matter how it goes, it's going to cost me money in the begining just to get things started.

Just wish he would get over this "you two have to get along" kick of his and start trying to co-parent with ME.

Thanks.
 

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