Can my father stop my fiance from adopting my three year old daughter?

[Brigette20]

My fiance and I have been together for almost three years and plan to get married next year,at that time he plans to adopt my oldest daughter.My father has said that he will never let it happen.My question is,Can he actually stop the adoption from happening?My fiance is the only father my child has ever known,he has been there for her since she was two months old and loves her very much as does she he!Her bio dad(or the sperm donor as I like to call him) has never seen her,nor has he ever supported her in any way!Please help me!By the way I am in Missouri,but plan on moving to Florida when we are married.Thank you for any insight you can give me!!!

 

[dorenephilpot]

Is your dad a judge who will be hearing the adoption case? Or has he threatened to show up in court and kill everyone in order to stop the proceedings?

I'm guessing not.

If not, then he cannot stop the adoption.

That's because he's a non-party to this case.

Dear ol' Dad is making a threat that he has no grounds to make. If you're an adult and competent to make decisions, he needs to keep his trap shut about his adult children's choices.

Now, bio dad might have a say in it, depending on whether the court finds that he has abandoned the child or not.

FYI, in Indiana, you have to wait a year after you are married before your husband can adopt the child. I don't know if your state has a similar requirement.

Best of luck to you.

 

[bucklink]

My husband just adopted my 10 year old dughter 8/8/01. I live in NY. I have been married for 3 years. I do not believe your dad has any say in the matter, unless there are major issues (child abuse...domestic violence...ect...) Of which a social worker investigates anyway...at least in NY. My question is why would your dad be so cold to the idea, if this guy is a father figure to your child? And if the bio-dad is not involved? Let me know if there are any other questions I might be able to help you with! Good luck!- bucklink

 

[Brigette20]

My father hasn't liked my fiance since the day he met him.He has been there for "our" daughter since she was 2 months old and is the only father she has ever known!Her bio dad has never even seen her,much less tried to make any effort to form a relationship with her!He put 3 minutes into something that my fiance and I have put nearly three years into.He is the only father she has ever known,and I would like to keep it that way!I don't ever want her to like she is any different then her sister.We are a family and I want her last name to be the same I as her fathers and sisters and soon to be mine.My only other question is,will I have to have the bio dad's permission to have my fiance adopt her?I don't feel like he should have any say so,since he has not taken any interest in her at all!Thank you for all of your help!And any further info you may be able to give me!

 

[bucklink]

I am not an expert by no means, however I had done much research. I don't know about your state, but in New York, if the bio-dad has not had any contact or paid any child support (for at least...I think 1 or 2 years) you do not need the consent of the bio-dad. However, with no consent, it is more work for the lawyer, and you can most likely expect to have to pay more in lawyer fees. My situation was somewhat similar, however bio-dad would pop back in and out every 2 or 3 years. My lawyer had advised me to try to get bio- dad to sign. Beleive it or not he did- after I signed off 6 thousand dollars of back child support! A lawyer may advise you to try to get bio-dad to sign, which you may be surprised... he probibly will. However, a lawyer will be the one who tries to contact him...not you. And if he will not sign, he will have to go to court anyway and explain to the judge why he will not. And a judge may rule that the adoption take place anyway. If they can not find him to sign, a note to find him may appear by your lawyer in his local newspaper to find him. If he does not respond, the adoption will then continue without him.
The most ironic thing is in NY, I as her birth mother had to also adopt my daughter, because no one person can adopt... we had to adopt her together. Let me know if you have any other questions about what to expect... Good luck - bucklink

 

[Brigette20]

Thank You for your help!My only other question is,if he refuses to sign can I then go after him for three years of back cs?As isaid before he has never even so much as held her.He has three other children that he has never taken responsibility for.Does that help me?

 

[bucklink]

Everything that he DOES NOT do, or has not done, will be in your favor or best interest for the adoption. If there has never been any court orders regarding child support, you can not get back child support. If there were to be a court order tomorrow, you could get all child support until the adoption. However you would be opening pandoras box... What if he then does pay child support... You would not be able to get him on child abandonment, and the whole adoption could get sticky. If your soon to be husband plans to adopt, I would leave things as they are... It will look better in a judges eyes that the bio-dad has never supported the child, and adopted dad has supported the child since an infant. Does your child have bio-dad's last name? Is bio-dad listed on the birth certificate? Once you are married and have a lawyer, things will fall into place... It's not all that difficult if you have a good lawyer. However, legal fees are costly. Just to prepare yourself, I had paid $750.00 (which was a desent amount) for the lawyer fees. Then the court orderes social worker comes to your house and talks to the both of you, and that was $300.00. Not to mention the $10.00 here and there fees for copies of birth certificates and such. But, just remember, It is all worth it! If something were to happen to you... were would your child go? Bio-dad (involved or not) would have legal rights. Adoption garantees your child would stay right were she is.