What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ
My husband and I are healthy and happily married. We will be traveling soon without our 3 children, 2 of whom are minors (ages 8 and 11).
We have never designated a guardian for our children in the event that we should both perish, because we simply cannot agree on whom to designate.
He would like members of his family, and I would like members of mine.
We both obviously have our reasons for wanting our own family to raise our children, but of course I think mine are more rational. Haha
In our discussions, the reasons he has cited for wanting his family over mine is that our children are closer to his family. I do agree that they are a little closer (not by far) to his family, but I do not believe that this is sufficient reason to grant them guardianship. His sister, whom he wishes to designate, is disrespectful and abusive to her husband, drinks excessively (often to the point of self-urination, physical altercations, and/or blackouts), gambles (she has been banned from several casinos due to her drunken debauchery), and is often heard, by our children, talking badly about me.
She does shower the children with gifts, and spoils them, as is her ‘right’ as their aunt, but I do not feel that this qualifies her as the better guardian, either.
In contrast, my sister and her husband are happily married, have raised a healthy and happy child already, with whom they have a great relationship, and are financially responsible, plus live in one of the best school districts in the state. I have spoken to them about my wishes and they would happily assume guardianship of our children and have agreed to allow ample visitation with my husband’s family.
Anyway, I would like to document my wishes before we travel. Since we do not agree, I, unfortunately, will be documenting mine separately from his, if he documents them at all.
Should I include my reasons for wanting my sister and for not wanting his sister, in the case that a court battle should arise?
Also, what would happen if neither of us document our wishes? Is there a default?
Thanks.
My husband and I are healthy and happily married. We will be traveling soon without our 3 children, 2 of whom are minors (ages 8 and 11).
We have never designated a guardian for our children in the event that we should both perish, because we simply cannot agree on whom to designate.
He would like members of his family, and I would like members of mine.
We both obviously have our reasons for wanting our own family to raise our children, but of course I think mine are more rational. Haha
In our discussions, the reasons he has cited for wanting his family over mine is that our children are closer to his family. I do agree that they are a little closer (not by far) to his family, but I do not believe that this is sufficient reason to grant them guardianship. His sister, whom he wishes to designate, is disrespectful and abusive to her husband, drinks excessively (often to the point of self-urination, physical altercations, and/or blackouts), gambles (she has been banned from several casinos due to her drunken debauchery), and is often heard, by our children, talking badly about me.
She does shower the children with gifts, and spoils them, as is her ‘right’ as their aunt, but I do not feel that this qualifies her as the better guardian, either.
In contrast, my sister and her husband are happily married, have raised a healthy and happy child already, with whom they have a great relationship, and are financially responsible, plus live in one of the best school districts in the state. I have spoken to them about my wishes and they would happily assume guardianship of our children and have agreed to allow ample visitation with my husband’s family.
Anyway, I would like to document my wishes before we travel. Since we do not agree, I, unfortunately, will be documenting mine separately from his, if he documents them at all.
Should I include my reasons for wanting my sister and for not wanting his sister, in the case that a court battle should arise?
Also, what would happen if neither of us document our wishes? Is there a default?
Thanks.
