Casket Flag in a will

[Memorex681]

My mother recently passed and my stepsister states my stepfather’s casket flag legally has to go to her instead of who my mother named in her will. Is there a law stating it had to go to her even though he passed away almost 20 years ago and the flag was correctly given to his spouse (my mother)?

 

[Just Blue]

My mother recently passed and my stepsister states my stepfather’s casket flag legally has to go to her instead of who my mother named in her will. Is there a law stating it had to go to her even though he passed away almost 20 years ago and the flag was correctly given to his spouse (my mother)?

What US state is this in?

 

[Taxing Matters]

My mother recently passed and my stepsister states my stepfather’s casket flag legally has to go to her instead of who my mother named in her will. Is there a law stating it had to go to her even though he passed away almost 20 years ago and the flag was correctly given to his spouse (my mother)?

He gave it to your mother in his will. When he died she became the owner of it and she has the right and power to give it whomever she wants, assuming this is in the U.S. Your stepsister would not have inherited the flag in at least most states if there was no will because a step daughter is not one of heirs under the law as there is no blood connection. That may make it impossible to make a good will challenge. All that said, to whom did your mother say whe wanted to get the flag? If it wasn't one of your stepfather's children it might be the more considerate thing to give the flag to her (or one of the other kids) as a keepsake of their father.

 

[stealth2]

If it wasn't one of your stepfather's children it might be the more considerate thing to give the flag to her (or one of the other kids) as a keepsake of their father.

I have to agree with this.

Luckily, my brother didn't even ask for the flag from my Dad's casket. Maybe he didn't care, maybe he knew it was important to me, I don't know as I didn't ask if he wanted it. I took that one and gave him the one that was flown over the Capitol for his (50th?) birthday (Mom was friends with one of our Congresswomen at the time).

 

[Memorex681]

What US state is this in?

Florida

 

[Memorex681]

He gave it to your mother in his will. When he died she became the owner of it and she has the right and power to give it whomever she wants, assuming this is in the U.S. Your stepsister would not have inherited the flag in at least most states if there was no will because a step daughter is not one of heirs under the law as there is no blood connection. That may make it impossible to make a good will challenge. All that said, to whom did your mother say whe wanted to get the flag? If it wasn't one of your stepfather's children it might be the more considerate thing to give the flag to her (or one of the other kids) as a keepsake of their father.

She left it to one of their grandchildren.

 

[Memorex681]

I have to agree with this.

Luckily, my brother didn't even ask for the flag from my Dad's casket. Maybe he didn't care, maybe he knew it was important to me, I don't know as I didn't ask if he wanted it. I took that one and gave him the one that was flown over the Capitol for his (50th?) birthday (Mom was friends with one of our Congresswomen at the time).

My understanding is that we are required to honor her will and she wanted to leave it to their grandson. Unfortunately my stepsister is insisting there is a law that overrides the will in Florida however I am not finding it.

 

[adjusterjack]

My understanding is that we are required to honor her will

True. But you can also ignore selected bequests by mutual agreement. Especially when it comes to personal items.

she wanted to leave it to their grandson

Does the grandson want it? If he doesn't want it you may be engaging in family strife for nothing.

my stepsister is insisting there is a law that overrides the will in Florida however I am not finding it.

Probably because it doesn't exist.

As a practical matter, if it means that much to her, why not just give it to her and avoid the strife?

Unless, of course, this is just a small part of a bigger fight over the estate and the flag is just a hostage.

 

[LdiJ]

My understanding is that we are required to honor her will and she wanted to leave it to their grandson. Unfortunately my stepsister is insisting there is a law that overrides the will in Florida however I am not finding it.

I am pretty sure that such a law does not exist. Ask your stepsister to give you a link to the law so that you can read it yourself. You are required to honor her will and the penalties can be rather stiff for not doing so, although AJ is correct that you can mutually (all heirs) decide to vary from the will. If the grandson is a biological grandson of your stepfather then there isn't even any moral ambiguity in the matter however.

 

[stealth2]

Does the grandson want it? If he doesn't want it you may be engaging in family strife for nothing.

I'll also ask - is the grandson progeny of one of his kids or hers? How close to stepDad were the stepkids? ISTM that the flag may be more meaningful to one of his biokids/grands. And would be seen as a gesture of goodwill...

 

[LdiJ]

I'll also ask - is the grandson progeny of one of his kids or hers? How close to stepDad were the stepkids? ISTM that the flag may be more meaningful to one of his biokids. And would be seen as a gesture of goodwill...

I read it that there was not just his and hers, but theirs, and that the grandchild was one of "theirs".

 

[stealth2]

I read it that there was not just his and hers, but theirs, and that the grandchild was one of "theirs".

I understand, but it's hard to tell if said grandchild is "theirs" as in they had a child and this is that child's child, or if it is "theirs" but only one of the parents is his or hers biologically. For example, my daughter had a stepchild when she was married who I considered "mine"... But my Dad's casket flag would pass on to one of my girls and then one of their children.

 

[LdiJ]

I understand, but it's hard to tell if said grandchild is "theirs" as in they had a child and this is that child's child, or if it is "theirs" but only one of the parents is his or hers biologically. For example, my daughter had a stepchild when she was married who I considered "mine"... But my Dad's casket flag would pass on to one of my girls and then one of their children.

I completely understand where you are coming from on that. Perhaps the OP should clarify. It also might be helpful to know grandma's reasoning for leaving the flag to the grandchild. For example, if the grandchild is career military it might make a lot of sense.

 

[stealth2]

I completely understand where you are coming from on that. Perhaps the OP should clarify. It also might be helpful to know grandma's reasoning for leaving the flag to the grandchild. For example, if the grandchild is career military it might make a lot of sense.

Agreed. Or if said grandchild was particularly close to Grandpa...

 

[zddoodah]

My understanding is that we are required to honor her will

Who are "we"? Who is nominated in the will to serve as executor? Has that person been appointed by the probate court to serve as executor?

my stepsister is insisting there is a law that overrides the will in Florida however I am not finding it.

How you phrase this depends on the extent to which you want to preserve a relationship with your stepsister, but I suggest that you pose the following to her:

"Oh...there's a law that overrides the will? Please cite that law to me and provide a link where I can read the law online. If you are unable to provide a citation and link by [pick a date], we will proceed to administer my mother's estate in accordance with the terms of her will."

Like others who have responded already, I'm relatively confident that she will be able to provide neither citation nor link.

As a practical matter, if it means that much to her, why not just give it to her and avoid the strife?

I agree with the sentiment behind this. However, if the OP's mother's will expressly leaves the item to a grandchild, then it's not up to the OP. The OP could suggest that the stepsister discuss the matter with the grandchild. If the grandchild is willing then there's no issue.