Change of Custodial Parent

[Benjaline]

What is the name of your state? CA

My boyfriend is wanting to ask for custody of his children. He already shares both legal and physical custody, but his ex-wife was out of work, "disabled" for 3 months last year and just had surgery again in Jan. We are not sure when she plans on returning back to work. Can he go back to court asking that he be made the Custodial parent until she is well enough to return to work and care for them. It seems she is unable to care for them adequately, laying in bed, most of the time due to bad backaches and he wants them with him until she is able to fully go back to work and start caring for them. What are his chances?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

What is the name of your state? CA

My boyfriend is wanting to ask for custody of his children. He already shares both legal and physical custody, but his ex-wife was out of work, "disabled" for 3 months last year and just had surgery again in Jan. We are not sure when she plans on returning back to work. Can he go back to court asking that he be made the Custodial parent until she is well enough to return to work and care for them. It seems she is unable to care for them adequately, laying in bed, most of the time due to bad backaches and he wants them with him until she is able to fully go back to work and start caring for them. What are his chances?

My response:

Zip and none.

IAAL

 

[ericaj]

I think this is a sign to *you* that your boyfriend would take advantage of someone when they are at a weak point... someday it might be you... If you say she's having surgery "again", don't you think that 3 months of being "disabled" sounds like it could be realistic?

I'm not trying to be offensive, I've just been on the other side of this.

 

[Benjaline]

Misunderstood

I think this is a sign to *you* that your boyfriend would take advantage of someone when they are at a weak point... someday it might be you... If you say she's having surgery "again", don't you think that 3 months of being "disabled" sounds like it could be realistic?

I'm not trying to be offensive, I've just been on the other side of this.

I'm not offended, but I do believe we've been misunderstood. He or WE are not trying to take advantage of anyone who is at their weak point. He has been wanting all of the children since they first split several years ago. We are simply asking for change of custodial parent while she is unable to work or care for them. WE are not asking for child support from her during this time, just that she take care of herself until she can fully take care of them...at that point and time if they choose to reside with her again, we haev no problems. No one is trying to take her children away from her when she is at her weak point. The surgery she had, both of them are surgeries I have had twice in the past...two 12 years ago and 2 8 years ago. I am well aware of these procedures and do not speak ignorantly.

Anyhow, thank you for your response.

 

[Benjaline]

That's what we thought

My response:

Zip and none.

IAAL

We were told that it would only happen if she requested it and wanted them to move in with him. Thanks.

 

[bononos]

We were told that it would only happen if she requested it and wanted them to move in with him. Thanks.

Why do this through the courts anyway?
Be adults, sit down and discuss her surgery and recovery.
Let her know the two of you are there to help with the kids and her until she has recovered.
I'm sure, since she gets pain as you said and will need rest, she might be happy to agree to the kids gong with your bf to give her the time a peace she needs to heal.
Help her when the kids are there. Hay, hit the grocery store for her. Send a pizza and a movie over.
Being nice and concerning instead of stand-offish will go alot further.

 

[Benjaline]

Not going to happen

Why do this through the courts anyway?
Be adults, sit down and discuss her surgery and recovery.
Let her know the two of you are there to help with the kids and her until she has recovered.
I'm sure, since she gets pain as you said and will need rest, she might be happy to agree to the kids gong with your bf to give her the time a peace she needs to heal.
Help her when the kids are there. Hay, hit the grocery store for her. Send a pizza and a movie over.
Being nice and concerning instead of stand-offish will go alot further.

Thank you for your kind words. We actually started out this way, but when it was proposed, the mother stated, "No way in hell". She does not want the kids to live with him as it will change the CS order completely. She states she is entitled to every dime he makes and too bad if he is not able to live beyond povery level, which is what he brings home...almost nothing. we had even stated that he would not ask for CS, put it in writing during these months or however long it took for her to recover, and we would just be able to take care of the kids while she got better, of course we wouldn't be paying CS to her either, but that is what the issue for her is. At this time, she is unable to drive them anywhere, spends most of her time in bed or on the Internet, in bed and has her family or neighbors carting the boys around. Being nice has always been what we wanted to be from the beginning, but due to her recent (last 9 months) attempts to keep the boys from their regular visitation schedules, he has had to take her to court, which will be next month. Thank you anyway...I totally agree with not going to court, if at all possible.

 

[Whyte Noise]

Just remember....

It's not legal unless it DOES go to court, especially the issue of not paying her child support for the months you'd have them with you while she healed. As long as there is a court order for support, it better get paid. Doesn't matter if the children are living with mom, grandma, dad, or Uncle Jesse. If that order says to pay mom, he better pay mom until another court order is issued to change it. If he doesn't, he'll find himself in arrears with even MORE of his paycheck going to her to catch up the months he didn't pay.