• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Changing custody

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

Y

Yurgee

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

My son that is 15 and will turn 16 in April currently resides with my ex-wife. I pay child support through the child support collection agency. Last week and up until yesterday he has asked if he can move in with me and after some discussion with him, I have decided that the move will work for both of us.

Can I make this adjustment in NY without an attorney and hat is the process for modifying the child support?

Thanks
 


Y

Yurgee

Member
Mom

I did talk with her last week and she told why she thinks he wants to change. She thinks it is some issues in school. I asked my son some questions and he has indicated that he doesn't feel like he is in a home or that they have a family.

She told me that he will not be changing. I am likely going to talk with an attorney because of the child support issues. I have been paying child support for 9 years and up until about 6 months ago, I was paying her directly. We changed it to the collection agency and that will need to be changed.

Thanks
 
M

momofrose

Senior Member
Yurgee said:
I did talk with her last week and she told why she thinks he wants to change. She thinks it is some issues in school. I asked my son some questions and he has indicated that he doesn't feel like he is in a home or that they have a family.

She told me that he will not be changing. I am likely going to talk with an attorney because of the child support issues. I have been paying child support for 9 years and up until about 6 months ago, I was paying her directly. We changed it to the collection agency and that will need to be changed.

Thanks
Click to expand...

More than that needs to be changed - if mom says he will not be changing- you would have to file for a change in custody. There is nothing here that lends itself for a change of custody...you seem to be focusing on child support here - there is a much bigger issue.
 
P

pittrocks

Member
Why do YOU get to decide how child support is distributed?

What is the custody arrangement currently?
If Mom doesn't agree to have son change residences, you are going to have to prove that it's better for CHILD to make the change...

Might be better for child to get help regarding school issues...
Unless this is all about the money, of course....:rolleyes:
 
B

BL

Senior Member
Yurgee said:
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

My son that is 15 and will turn 16 in April currently resides with my ex-wife. I pay child support through the child support collection agency. Last week and up until yesterday he has asked if he can move in with me and after some discussion with him, I have decided that the move will work for both of us.

Can I make this adjustment in NY without an attorney and hat is the process for modifying the child support?

Thanks
Click to expand...

You would have to go back through the court that awarded custody .I believe you mention divorce .

Either show a substantial change in circumstances , or an agreement .

If you do not know the courts procedures , then you'd need an attorney .

At least consult one . If you're in agreement ,it may be less costly for both of you .

You mentioned prior you have/had one child living with you ?
 
Y

Yurgee

Member
change

This has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with money.

My son has indicated that he does not feel like he lives with a family. He has mentioned that when he is with me, it feels more like a family. I have asked many questions and I have listened to him. He originally called my wife and asked what she thought. My wife called and told me what he said. I had no idea that he was not happy with my ex-wife.

BTW, my olde son decided to come and live with me when he was either 16 or 17 and is not 22. He had similar reasons.

My mentioning of the child support was because that is part of the deal. I aasked and mentioned it because I wanted to know if I could do it myself. I am not and never would be a dead beat dad. I love and support my children so get off of your soapbox.
 
stealth2

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Well, I have two thoughts running concurrently.

One is that it would be much easier to advise you if we knew what the actual "issue" is. "He doesn't feel like he lives in a family" is rather nebulous.

The other is... if you already did this once, how is it you don't know how to go about it this time? Or did she agree the once? And doesn't now.
 
Zigner

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Yurgee said:
My son has indicated that he does not feel like he lives with a family. He has mentioned that when he is with me, it feels more like a family. I have asked many questions and I have listened to him. He originally called my wife and asked what she thought. My wife called and told me what he said. I had no idea that he was not happy with my ex-wife.
Click to expand...
So, the CHILD, who is having problems at school, doesn't want to live with mom any more. It's really plain to see that mom is trying to get him to do good in school and he, like many rebellious and manipulative teens, is playing the two of you against each other. Don't feel bad, it happens in "intact" families too. What makes the difference is how YOU respond to it. So far, you're on the wrong track.

BTW, my olde son decided to come and live with me when he was either 16 or 17 and is not 22. He had similar reasons.
Click to expand...
I'm sure he did.

My mentioning of the child support was because that is part of the deal.
Click to expand...
But, it's NOT. They are two entirely separate issues.
I aasked and mentioned it because I wanted to know if I could do it myself. I am not and never would be a dead beat dad. I love and support my children so get off of your soapbox.
Click to expand...
:rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
Last edited:
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
Yurgee said:
This has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with money.

My son has indicated that he does not feel like he lives with a family. He has mentioned that when he is with me, it feels more like a family. I have asked many questions and I have listened to him. He originally called my wife and asked what she thought. My wife called and told me what he said. I had no idea that he was not happy with my ex-wife.

BTW, my olde son decided to come and live with me when he was either 16 or 17 and is not 22. He had similar reasons.

My mentioning of the child support was because that is part of the deal. I aasked and mentioned it because I wanted to know if I could do it myself. I am not and never would be a dead beat dad. I love and support my children so get off of your soapbox.
Click to expand...

He only did it because mom allowed it to happen. You either need mom's agreement or you need a judge to rule in your favor for a custody change.

It is no where near as simple as you think it is. It may have seemed simple with your older son, but again, that's only because mom allowed it.

It doesn't sound like she intends to allow it this time.
 
Zigner

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
In less than a week, you got in front of a judge and got a custody order changed?

http://tinyurl.com/yeoq6lk
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
Top