Changing names without adopting

[cchew686]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

I have a family friend who broke up with his exgirlfriend about 2 and a half years ago. She has since remarried and is now trying to have the children she had with her exboyfriend given her new husbands last name. She has refused to let the father see them in about two years and he has been paying his child support sporadically, but he is a high school dropout and has had a hard time holding down a steady job. Her new husband is not trying to legally adopt the kids. My question is, if the father objects to the name change, is the fact that he hasn't seen the kids and that he hasn't consistently paid his child support make it a given that she will win? The father says he wants to see the kids, but can't afford to file for visitation. I am just unsure how this will play out and I would like for him to be prepared for the worst. The other sites I have checked out have made it sound like all the mother will have to claim is that he abandoned them and only pays child support when he wants, regardless of what the extenuating circumstances are, like the fact that she won't allow the father to see them. I am relaying what the father told me, and I know there is a possibility that he is not telling me everything, but given the scenario he described, does anyone have any advice?

 

[Ladyback1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

The father says he wants to see the kids, but can't afford to file for visitation.

Yeah, NO...I'm not buying he can't afford it. If he really, truly, wanted to see his children he'd find a way to file for a visitation order.

And he needs to create an account and ask his questions, as he's the only one who knows the specifics.

 

[Isis1]

he is definitely leaving out a lot of his "story".

legally, you cannot get a name change without the consent and proper filings through the courts. i specify legally, because my mother did the same thing to me as a child. changed my name without my father's consent. and changed it back again when she divorced. let me tell you, that was a hassle to have to remember that during FBI background check and i felt like an idiot.

also...his biggest concern should be about exercising his rights, not get all huffy over a name change. he really needs to check his priorities.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

I have a family friend who broke up with his exgirlfriend about 2 and a half years ago. She has since remarried and is now trying to have the children she had with her exboyfriend given her new husbands last name. She has refused to let the father see them in about two years and he has been paying his child support sporadically, but he is a high school dropout and has had a hard time holding down a steady job. Her new husband is not trying to legally adopt the kids. My question is, if the father objects to the name change, is the fact that he hasn't seen the kids and that he hasn't consistently paid his child support make it a given that she will win? The father says he wants to see the kids, but can't afford to file for visitation. I am just unsure how this will play out and I would like for him to be prepared for the worst. The other sites I have checked out have made it sound like all the mother will have to claim is that he abandoned them and only pays child support when he wants, regardless of what the extenuating circumstances are, like the fact that she won't allow the father to see them. I am relaying what the father told me, and I know there is a possibility that he is not telling me everything, but given the scenario he described, does anyone have any advice?

Please have the family friend sign up and ask his own questions. Thanks!!

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

I have a family friend who broke up with his exgirlfriend about 2 and a half years ago. She has since remarried and is now trying to have the children she had with her exboyfriend given her new husbands last name. She has refused to let the father see them in about two years and he has been paying his child support sporadically, but he is a high school dropout and has had a hard time holding down a steady job.

So in 2.5 years he couldn't file papers in court asking to establish paternity and for visitation when he can get the filing fee waived? Sounds like an excuse to me. As for not paying his child support -- how long has he gone without paying child support and how sporadic has his child support been?

Her new husband is not trying to legally adopt the kids. My question is, if the father objects to the name change, is the fact that he hasn't seen the kids and that he hasn't consistently paid his child support make it a given that she will win? The father says he wants to see the kids, but can't afford to file for visitation.

Dad is full of it. He hasn't cared to find out how to file for visitation.

I am just unsure how this will play out and I would like for him to be prepared for the worst. The other sites I have checked out have made it sound like all the mother will have to claim is that he abandoned them and only pays child support when he wants, regardless of what the extenuating circumstances are, like the fact that she won't allow the father to see them. I am relaying what the father told me, and I know there is a possibility that he is not telling me everything, but given the scenario he described, does anyone have any advice?

Depending on how big of a deadbeat he is, it is possible mom could get the child's name changed without directly notifying him.

 

[CSO286]

I have a family friend who broke up with his exgirlfriend about 2 and a half years ago. She has since remarried and is now trying to have the children she had with her exboyfriend given her new husbands last name.

Ok.

She has refused to let the father see them in about two years and he has been paying his child support sporadically, but he is a high school dropout and has had a hard time holding down a steady job. Her new husband is not trying to legally adopt the kids.

Is there a court order granting the father parenting time? If so, what does it say?
If not, then she has no legal obligation to make the children available to your "friend".

My question is, if the father objects to the name change, is the fact that he hasn't seen the kids and that he hasn't consistently paid his child support make it a given that she will win?

If he wants to object to the legal name change, he will have to do so legally. Simply telling Mom that he doesn't want the name changed will not be enough. Can he do that? Will he show up at a hearing to contest it?

The father says he wants to see the kids, but can't afford to file for visitation.

This is the worst excuse out there. If one's economic circumstances are such that filing court papers would be a hardship, there are fee waivers available. All he would have to do is ask for an in forma pauperis form at Court admin/Clerk of Court.

I am just unsure how this will play out and I would like for him to be prepared for the worst. The other sites I have checked out have made it sound like all the mother will have to claim is that he abandoned them and only pays child support when he wants, regardless of what the extenuating circumstances are, like the fact that she won't allow the father to see them.

Well, if he hasn’t taken any action to obtain/enforce a custody order, then, yes, he has essentially abandoned them.
Worst case scenario for him? Name change gets granted.

I am relaying what the father told me, and I know there is a possibility that he is not telling me everything, but given the scenario he described, does anyone have any advice?

My guess is that since he is a HS dropout, understanding these legal issues is difficult for him, but if his kids actually matter, he's going to have to school himself or find a way to hold down more than one min wage job and hire an attorney to help him.

P.S. We do have a family law attorney from OH here who will most likely be along and will give a much more detailed response. She can come off as abrupt or harsh, but she’s just going to lay it all out. The truth, without the candy coating.

ETA: Oh, hi, OhioGAL!!!

 

[Ohiogal]

Ok.


Is there a court order granting the father parenting time? If so, what does it say?
If not, then she has no legal obligation to make the children available to your "friend".


If he wants to object to the legal name change, he will have to do so legally. Simply telling Mom that he doesn't want the name changed will not be enough. Can he do that? Will he show up at a hearing to contest it?


This is the worst excuse out there. If one's economic circumstances are such that filing court papers would be a hardship, there are fee waivers available. All he would have to do is ask for an in forma pauperis form at Court admin/Clerk of Court.


Well, if he hasn’t taken any action to obtain/enforce a custody order, then, yes, he has essentially abandoned them.
Worst case scenario for him? Name change gets granted.



My guess is that since he is a HS dropout, understanding these legal issues is difficult for him, but if his kids actually matter, he's going to have to school himself or find a way to hold down more than one min wage job and hire an attorney to help him.

P.S. We do have a family law attorney from OH here who will most likely be along and will give a much more detailed response. She can come off as abrupt or harsh, but she’s just going to lay it all out. The truth, without the candy coating.

ETA: Oh, hi, OhioGAL!!!

Hi there!!!!!
Yep, dad doesn't care that much for his children. Not. At. All.

 

[cchew686]

Useless

Thanks for all of the useless advice and the personal attacks on me, when I had nothing to do with it. What a waste of time.

 

[CSO286]

Thanks for all of the useless advice and the personal attacks on me, when I had nothing to do with it. What a waste of time.

Really???? I though you were just a "friend"...... There were no attacks on you.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks for all of the useless advice and the personal attacks on me, when I had nothing to do with it. What a waste of time.

No one attacked you. It was pointed out that dad doesn't really care for his children because he is full of excuses.

 

[Just Blue]

Thanks for all of the useless advice and the personal attacks on me, when I had nothing to do with it. What a waste of time.

What is useless is you posting a legal issue that has NOTHING to do with you. It was a total waste of the members time.