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Child abuse and out of state adoption [ complicated situation ]

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FakePiccolo

Junior Member
( Massachusetts & Texas )

I'm still young and still trying to adjust to life here ( I am a survivor of spiritual abuse, I've been on my own for a happy 2 years now! ), so I need as much help as I can get! I'm 20 years old and I live just outside of Boston. Since I've been able to use the internet and meet new people, I've actively looked for spaces for abuse survivors in hopes to help others and maybe receive the same support. This is where I met, well I shouldn't say her name, but just to clear that up I didn't just appear in her life by magic.

I have a daughter, though she isn't mine biologically or legally, and I've been trying to help her for these 2 years. I buy her food through online grocers and I keep her up to date with her schoolwork because her biological mother and legal guardian refuses to do these things. Her mother took her out of school to "home-school" but has failed to teach anything for two years, now. With free resources like Khan Academy and other educational sites I've been able to keep her mostly on track with actually learning, but she hasn't been given any credits so it won't benefit anyone in the end.

There's a whole myriad of abuse* and neglect** going on in that household and I'm very concerned and would call CPS, were it not a danger. My daughter has a younger brother who she worries about and was forced to practically raise on her own and she fears involving authorities will separate him from their mother ( who seems to favour him, but I have no way of knowing ).

Is there a way for me to advocate for her emancipation or something similar? She is 16 and legally able to emancipate, but she doesn't have a job. Can I be her source of income security? Will she be able to leave the state to come live with me? I have a steady, secure income and a strong support system for her to cope and heal from years of abuse. I want the world for her, but she's in such a complicated place I have no idea where to start untangling things.



*This includes emotional and physical abuse from both custodial parents. Her mother's boyfriend also contributes to the abuse with violent shouting and throwing objects when her younger brother soils his diaper. She is a victim of CSA which happened in a family home when she should have been supervised, she is still forced to see her attacker at family events and holidays because her mother refuses to believe her.

**Lack of food, leaving minors alone in a home for whole days at a time. Her mother ignores her disordered eating (which is caused by abuse) and punishes her for it, letting her go hungry. Standing by while the boyfriend screams and spanks the youngest child for not using the toilet properly. (The youngest is just barely 4 and still wears a diaper because he's already been traumatised and associates it with the toilet since that's his time out space and he is punished harshly there.)
 


CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
( Massachusetts & Texas )

I'm still young and still trying to adjust to life here ( I am a survivor of spiritual abuse, I've been on my own for a happy 2 years now! ), so I need as much help as I can get! I'm 20 years old and I live just outside of Boston. Since I've been able to use the internet and meet new people, I've actively looked for spaces for abuse survivors in hopes to help others and maybe receive the same support. This is where I met, well I shouldn't say her name, but just to clear that up I didn't just appear in her life by magic.

I have a daughter, though she isn't mine biologically or legally, and I've been trying to help her for these 2 years. I buy her food through online grocers and I keep her up to date with her schoolwork because her biological mother and legal guardian refuses to do these things. Her mother took her out of school to "home-school" but has failed to teach anything for two years, now. With free resources like Khan Academy and other educational sites I've been able to keep her mostly on track with actually learning, but she hasn't been given any credits so it won't benefit anyone in the end.

There's a whole myriad of abuse* and neglect** going on in that household and I'm very concerned and would call CPS, were it not a danger. My daughter has a younger brother who she worries about and was forced to practically raise on her own and she fears involving authorities will separate him from their mother ( who seems to favour him, but I have no way of knowing ).

Is there a way for me to advocate for her emancipation or something similar? She is 16 and legally able to emancipate, but she doesn't have a job. Can I be her source of income security? Will she be able to leave the state to come live with me? I have a steady, secure income and a strong support system for her to cope and heal from years of abuse. I want the world for her, but she's in such a complicated place I have no idea where to start untangling things.



*This includes emotional and physical abuse from both custodial parents. Her mother's boyfriend also contributes to the abuse with violent shouting and throwing objects when her younger brother soils his diaper. She is a victim of CSA which happened in a family home when she should have been supervised, she is still forced to see her attacker at family events and holidays because her mother refuses to believe her.

**Lack of food, leaving minors alone in a home for whole days at a time. Her mother ignores her disordered eating (which is caused by abuse) and punishes her for it, letting her go hungry. Standing by while the boyfriend screams and spanks the youngest child for not using the toilet properly. (The youngest is just barely 4 and still wears a diaper because he's already been traumatised and associates it with the toilet since that's his time out space and he is punished harshly there.)

I just want to get something out of the way, okay? This young lady is not your daughter and you have have no legal standing to do anything at all at this point.

She does not qualify for emancipation in any state, and if she is being abused you need to get child services involved.

I'm asking this as gently as I can. How often do you see her? When was the last time you spent time in her house?

ETA: Hmmm. Please be honest ... you've been here before, haven't you? With a different name and a slightly different set of circumstances?
 

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