child support arrearage & custody change

[necessary evil]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

NCP wants custody. I disagree with the change, so off to court we go:

He is behind in his child support in excess of $30K. Does this have any baring on whether or not he gets custody? I was told by a friend that it did not, but I wanted to verify.

(wasn't sure which of the two forums to post this in.. )

Additionally, if the parents involved in a custody dispute have already attended the parenting course as part of the divorce process, do they have to do it again? We both attended in 2003, as ordered by the court.

Thanks.

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

NCP wants custody. I disagree with the change, so off to court we go:

He is behind in his child support in excess of $30K. Does this have any baring on whether or not he gets custody? I was told by a friend that it did not, but I wanted to verify.

(wasn't sure which of the two forums to post this in.. )

Additionally, if the parents involved in a custody dispute have already attended the parenting course as part of the divorce process, do they have to do it again? We both attended in 2003, as ordered by the court.

Thanks.

Custody cannot be decided based soley on non payment of CS. Although, that non payment, if it can be proven to have been willlful MIGHT have a small impact on the decision.
What does your attorney say about that issue?

When you go to court be sure to bring proof of having attended the parenting course. You might have to attend again, but wait for the court to order that.

 

[necessary evil]

What does your attorney say about that issue

Due to financial issues I have to go Pro Se on this one. The legal aid office in my area has closed due to the economy, so I'm stuck with a fool for a lawyer.

Thank you for your response, Ms Gracie. I wasn't sure if I should point that out to the court or not.

I'm not looking to tear this man apart, honestly. He & I have been friends for the sake of our child, but she's 13 now and he's just moved from FL to TX and wants her to come with him.

 

[Isis1]

Due to financial issues I have to go Pro Se on this one. The legal aid office in my area has closed due to the economy, so I'm stuck with a fool for a lawyer.

Thank you for your response, Ms Gracie. I wasn't sure if I should point that out to the court or not.

I'm not looking to tear this man apart, honestly. He & I have been friends for the sake of our child, but she's 13 now and he's just moved from FL to TX and wants her to come with him.

well, tell him i said "good luck with THAT! "

dad needs a change of circumstance for the child. him moving, is not a change of circumstance for the child to live with a different parent, but a perfect reason to modify the visitation schedule for a long distance parenting plan with dad footing the ENTIRE traveling expense.

 

[necessary evil]

well, tell him i said "good luck with THAT! "

dad needs a change of circumstance for the child. him moving, is not a change of circumstance for the child to live with a different parent, but a perfect reason to modify the visitation schedule for a long distance parenting plan with dad footing the ENTIRE traveling expense.

He doesn't have much to go on, and I personally can't see any change in circumstance that would warrant a custody change. She's been living with me for the past 13 years with no complaints from him. He's offered to exchange custody with a stipulation for no child support due from me if the change were to go through. Although that is a wonderful offer (and possibly a great opportunity for our child to experience a different lifestyle in a state she may have never visited otherwise) I had to decline.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

For dad to prevail in a change of custody, there has to be a change in circumstances for the CHILD. Focus on what dad may bring up and what your answers are for that.

 

[Isis1]

He doesn't have much to go on, and I personally can't see any change in circumstance that would warrant a custody change. She's been living with me for the past 13 years with no complaints from him. He's offered to exchange custody with a stipulation for no child support due from me if the change were to go through. Although that is a wonderful offer (and possibly a great opportunity for our child to experience a different lifestyle in a state she may have never visited otherwise) I had to decline.

oh she'll visit. during the summer. on a long distance parenting plan. with dad paying the bill.

and FYI, you cannot waive child support on an agreement like that. dad could get custody, once the judge rules on it, dad can ask for child support regardless of what he agreed to five minutes prior.

 

[necessary evil]

oh she'll visit. during the summer. on a long distance parenting plan. with dad paying the bill.

and FYI, you cannot waive child support on an agreement like that. dad could get custody, once the judge rules on it, dad can ask for child support regardless of what he agreed to five minutes prior.

He's already talked to me about summer visits to Texas. His Dad still lives here in FL and has offered to drive her up & back rather than having to send her on a plane. I'm all for her maintaining her relationship with her Daddy.. I'm just not seeing why him moving to TX constitutes a change in circumstance great enough to change custody.

I'm also aware that the judge can order CS regardless of what the parents agree to. I'm not afraid of paying CS, I just don't agree with her uprooting after 13 years of consistency.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The reason you don't see how your X moving to Texas is a change of circumstance is because it isn't.

Now, I would suggest looking up long-distance parenting plans. Consider virtual parenting plan to include phone calls, emailing, IM and instant messaging.

He can very well get half to two-thirds the summer and alternating Thanksgiving, Christmas break and spring breaks.

Since he is creating the distance, he should pickup the cost of the transportation.

Make sure that you allow for 30 days notifications of travel plans (if not more.)

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

NCP wants custody. I disagree with the change, so off to court we go:

He is behind in his child support in excess of $30K. Does this have any baring on whether or not he gets custody? I was told by a friend that it did not, but I wanted to verify.

(wasn't sure which of the two forums to post this in.. )

Additionally, if the parents involved in a custody dispute have already attended the parenting course as part of the divorce process, do they have to do it again? We both attended in 2003, as ordered by the court.

Thanks.

Based on reading the whole thread.....

Dad is moving out of state PLUS is 30k in arrears for child support, plus is already the NCP?

He doesn't stand a chance.

However, that doesn't mean that you can be lazy or treat this as a done deal, particularly if dad has an attorney and you don't.

However, I cannot see an attorney encouraging dad on this one, unless dad has lots of money and the attorney is willing to burn through his money....AND, if dad has that kind of money, then why isn't he clearing up his arrearages?

 

[necessary evil]

he doesn't have an attorney, we're both pro se.

I'm trying to figure out how to get the arrearage re-figured since his initial CS was based on an estimated income for a new job he was to begin the next day. They initially had him set as $900/mo. (his earning potential I suppose..) but we were able to re-work the figures so that it's only $330/mo since he ended up not making what the court said he would. I don't think it's fair that he got stuck with a CS payment that was 75% of his income and then when they finally re-figured it all they still kept his arrearages at $900/mo. from 1999 - 2005. Is there a way to do that?

Also, I found out yesterday that during a conversation with our daughter he told her she had to choose between the two of us as to where she wanted to live. I'm furious that he put her in that situation! She initially said that she didn't want to have to make that decision, but later told him that she wanted to stay with me. Now he's pissed and is trying to make her feel bad about staying with me. The initial petition and my response have already been filed. Is this something I need to type up & submit to the clerk prior to the hearing or should I wait to get to court to talk about it? My other thought was to call CPS and see what they suggest, but I don't want to open another can of worms here... but it seems like I read somewhere here that you are NOT supposed to do that to the child.

I won't sit back and not do something. I had my response filed within 3 days of getting the petition served on me. Is it too late to submit more info to the court?

 

[Isis1]

he doesn't have an attorney, we're both pro se.

I'm trying to figure out how to get the arrearage re-figured since his initial CS was based on an estimated income for a new job he was to begin the next day. They initially had him set as $900/mo. (his earning potential I suppose..) but we were able to re-work the figures so that it's only $330/mo since he ended up not making what the court said he would. I don't think it's fair that he got stuck with a CS payment that was 75% of his income and then when they finally re-figured it all they still kept his arrearages at $900/mo. from 1999 - 2005. Is there a way to do that?

Also, I found out yesterday that during a conversation with our daughter he told her she had to choose between the two of us as to where she wanted to live. I'm furious that he put her in that situation! She initially said that she didn't want to have to make that decision, but later told him that she wanted to stay with me. Now he's pissed and is trying to make her feel bad about staying with me. The initial petition and my response have already been filed. Is this something I need to type up & submit to the clerk prior to the hearing or should I wait to get to court to talk about it? My other thought was to call CPS and see what they suggest, but I don't want to open another can of worms here... but it seems like I read somewhere here that you are NOT supposed to do that to the child.

I won't sit back and not do something. I had my response filed within 3 days of getting the petition served on me. Is it too late to submit more info to the court?

here's the thing. it's NOT illegal to do what dad is doing. he's allowed to be a piss poor parent. as a parent, you should not do that to a child. this is something a therapist needs to address. if brought before the court, only a therapist should do it.

 

[necessary evil]

here's the thing. it's NOT illegal to do what dad is doing. he's allowed to be a piss poor parent. as a parent, you should not do that to a child. this is something a therapist needs to address. if brought before the court, only a therapist should do it.

okay, so bringing this issue to the court or CPS pointless unless I have a therapist to vouch for it? Got it.

 

[gr8rn]

And it definitely is not something to get CPS involved with.