clarification of agreement?(California)

[mrslunar]

Hi, I'm in california. I have a fairly standard 50/50 custody agreement for my 7 year old daughter.

There is a portion that states we are each able to take 7 days with her for vacation in the summer. Per the rest of the agreement, we each only have her at the most 5 days in a row. Thus, when taking her on vacation, someone would obviously be giving up parenting time. The vacation clause says that "exact dates and times are to be agreed upon two weeks in advance". I notified my ex a month in advance. He told me that he had plans that weekend so I couldn't take her.

I think I need to get an Ex Parte hearing set to clarify this. It doesn't make sense to me that they'd set the clause if the situation was that if the parents don't agree then they are stuck.

I interpret the agreement as if we DONT agree, then he has to have cause, and it has to be better than "Oh well, it's over my parenting time so you can't go".

I am worried about the "agreed upon" terminology, though. Maybe it IS that if we don't agree, then we can't go? I don't know.

If anyone has any recomendations, I'd appreciate it. I don't want to set up a hearing an tick off the judge and waste the money.

 

[stealth2]

What makes you think this warrants an ex parte hearing?

 

[mrslunar]

The vacation is planned for June 30th, and I've been told by the courthouse here that there isn't enough time to set a normal hearing.

 

[casa]

Hi, I'm in california. I have a fairly standard 50/50 custody agreement for my 7 year old daughter.

There is a portion that states we are each able to take 7 days with her for vacation in the summer. Per the rest of the agreement, we each only have her at the most 5 days in a row. Thus, when taking her on vacation, someone would obviously be giving up parenting time. The vacation clause says that "exact dates and times are to be agreed upon two weeks in advance". I notified my ex a month in advance. He told me that he had plans that weekend so I couldn't take her.

I think I need to get an Ex Parte hearing set to clarify this. It doesn't make sense to me that they'd set the clause if the situation was that if the parents don't agree then they are stuck.

I interpret the agreement as if we DONT agree, then he has to have cause, and it has to be better than "Oh well, it's over my parenting time so you can't go".

I am worried about the "agreed upon" terminology, though. Maybe it IS that if we don't agree, then we can't go? I don't know.

If anyone has any recomendations, I'd appreciate it. I don't want to set up a hearing an tick off the judge and waste the money.

"Vacation" time of "Up to 7 days" which is "with 2 weeks notice" is above and beyond 'normal' visitation. ie; As long as you give him 2 weeks notice~ You should be fine. Vacation time (like Holiday time) supercedes the 'normal' visitation schedule.

An ex-parte would address and resolve this issue~ But one or both of you are in for a tongue lashing, wasting CA courts time on this inane part of visitation.

The wisER choice is to pick a different 2 weeks. It avoids confrontation and takes the wind out of Dad's sails, as he tries to play controller. The court order says you 2 must AGREE on the visitation times....

 

[mrslunar]

thank you

thank you casa. the problem for me is that my vacation is around a big family thing, so I unfortunately don't have a lot of flexibility.

but, thank you. very good points. I'll try to keep working at it.

 

[stealth2]

So this "big" family thing was only planned a month before?

 

[LdiJ]

Hi, I'm in california. I have a fairly standard 50/50 custody agreement for my 7 year old daughter.

There is a portion that states we are each able to take 7 days with her for vacation in the summer. Per the rest of the agreement, we each only have her at the most 5 days in a row. Thus, when taking her on vacation, someone would obviously be giving up parenting time. The vacation clause says that "exact dates and times are to be agreed upon two weeks in advance". I notified my ex a month in advance. He told me that he had plans that weekend so I couldn't take her.

I think I need to get an Ex Parte hearing set to clarify this. It doesn't make sense to me that they'd set the clause if the situation was that if the parents don't agree then they are stuck.

I interpret the agreement as if we DONT agree, then he has to have cause, and it has to be better than "Oh well, it's over my parenting time so you can't go".

I am worried about the "agreed upon" terminology, though. Maybe it IS that if we don't agree, then we can't go? I don't know.

If anyone has any recomendations, I'd appreciate it. I don't want to set up a hearing an tick off the judge and waste the money.

In my opinion you should tell him "tough luck I gave you the required notice"...and take your 7 days. Let him be the one to take it to court.

Let him be the one to irritate the judge over trival matters.

 

[mrslunar]

In my opinion you should tell him "tough luck I gave you the required notice"...and take your 7 days. Let him be the one to take it to court.

Let him be the one to irritate the judge over trival matters.

That's what I've heard a couple of times. I don't want to piss of the judge. My ex has already taken me in a couple times and pissed off the judge anyway, so I honestly wouldn't mind if he did it again to create a pattern.

Thanks.

 

[mrslunar]

So this "big" family thing was only planned a month before?

Stealth, are you on a path to be helpful here because I'm feeling like you're just picking.....but correct me if I'm wrong.

The plans were completed about a month before, yes. We started planning a couple months ago but it was all finalzed a couple weeks ago and I gave notice well in advance. Does it matter when I knew about it? I gave him over a months notice, and the court order says two weeks**************I think I did ok.