Comments From Others At Work That Don't Fall Under Protected Status

[JohnErick]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I have an issue at work that crops up from time to time, and I have a question maybe someone can answer. It happened again this Saturday and even though it really bugs/upsets me, it is not a protected class issue.

I am a vegetarian. The kids I work with tend to talk about food constantly and inevitably I come up in the conversations and it's very uncomfortable. I don't even say anything at all and just keep working, but then a couple of people will start in with the "Hey John Doe, they have a really great pigs in a blanket you should try" kind of thing. It doesn't just stop with one comment. Then someone will inevitably come along next with "mmm I just love hot dogs and stare at me and say childish things like "mmmmmm" I just love hot dogs" or whatever... it makes me very uncomfortable.

I can imagine it's not anything I can do anything about, and that I should just be the mature one and brush it off, but the way it's approached and with more than one employee joining in, it makes me very uncomfortable. Why do they even need to drag me into it in the first place. They know I'm a vegetarian, so just have that knowledge and have your conversation without bugging me. I can join in a food conversation and never mention anything vegetarians at all, but they have to drag it up over and over.

Anyway, I'm sure this is a very non-issue for this board, but any suggestions or info would help me deal with it until I can find something else to do. Thanks

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Offer them a tofu burger. Everyone wants a good bite of soy bean curd.

 

[TigerD]

My first question is simple, yet very important:
Why are you a vegetarian?

DC

 

[sandyclaus]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I have an issue at work that crops up from time to time, and I have a question maybe someone can answer. It happened again this Saturday and even though it really bugs/upsets me, it is not a protected class issue.

I am a vegetarian. The kids I work with tend to talk about food constantly and inevitably I come up in the conversations and it's very uncomfortable. I don't even say anything at all and just keep working, but then a couple of people will start in with the "Hey John Doe, they have a really great pigs in a blanket you should try" kind of thing. It doesn't just stop with one comment. Then someone will inevitably come along next with "mmm I just love hot dogs and stare at me and say childish things like "mmmmmm" I just love hot dogs" or whatever... it makes me very uncomfortable.

I can imagine it's not anything I can do anything about, and that I should just be the mature one and brush it off, but the way it's approached and with more than one employee joining in, it makes me very uncomfortable. Why do they even need to drag me into it in the first place. They know I'm a vegetarian, so just have that knowledge and have your conversation without bugging me. I can join in a food conversation and never mention anything vegetarians at all, but they have to drag it up over and over.

Anyway, I'm sure this is a very non-issue for this board, but any suggestions or info would help me deal with it until I can find something else to do. Thanks

Honestly, being a vegetarian, or making any kind of lifestyle choice that is different from the norm, is a decision that doesn't always go over well with the rest of the crowd. If you are going to maintain that lifestyle choice, you have to learn how to deal with those that are going to make you uncomfortable about it.

As DC says, part of this goes towards WHY you made the choice to be a vegetarian. Sticking to your convictions will help you to decide exactly how to handle the naysayers. Also understand that just as much as as you are uncomfortable around you, because your choices are different than theirs, they may well be uncomfortable around YOU because of your own difference in choices. Don't force your choices upon them, and learn how to ignore or defend yourself if they try to force their choices upon you.

 

[Ohiogal]

Honestly, being a vegetarian, or making any kind of lifestyle choice that is different from the norm, is a decision that doesn't always go over well with the rest of the crowd. If you are going to maintain that lifestyle choice, you have to learn how to deal with those that are going to make you uncomfortable about it.

As DC says, part of this goes towards WHY you made the choice to be a vegetarian. Sticking to your convictions will help you to decide exactly how to handle the naysayers. Also understand that just as much as as you are uncomfortable around you, because your choices are different than theirs, they may well be uncomfortable around YOU because of your own difference in choices. Don't force your choices upon them, and learn how to ignore or defend yourself if they try to force their choices upon you.

Actually if he is vegetarian for religious reasons that could be a problem for the rest of the workplace (in that religion is protected).

 

[swalsh411]

I think they are just messing with you because they know it will get a reaction.

 

[tranquility]

Unless the OP is a vegetarian because of a sincerely held religious belief, I don't think there is a legal protection here. Best would be for the OP to discuss things with the manager or to realize the real reason is probably as swalsh411 says. Personally, I'd have a couple of clever bon mots prepared for the specific instance as well. Something like, "I love vege brands tofu dogs probably as much; you've got to try them sometime." Then a quick wink and a nudge and lean in conspiratorially, "And, they don't hurt my libido or performance like those Oscar Meyers do for most folks." Then walk away with a smile without allowing a response.

Then again, most vegetarians I know don't mind talking about being one. What's the joke?

Q: How do you know if there is a vegetarian in the room?
A: Don't worry, they'll tell you.

 

[swalsh411]

Or say "Todd we all know you love to stuff your mouth with lots of meat".

 

[eerelations]

Ummm these are apparently kinds who are teasing OP.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Ummm these are apparently kinds who are teasing OP.

Kinds can be so cruel. Look at them politely and tell them to hush and go back to eatin' meat.

 

[commentator]

Let's keep the sexually suggestive replies to a minimum. That's always a good policy at work. This OP has no protected status at work, unless, as someone pointed out the vegetarianism is due to his religious affiliation. And then the first thing I'd do is tell them that you are a vegetarian for a very good reason. Smile, go on, and don't be so darn sensitive about it. If the teasing escalates, which it will if you continue to so obviously flinch and react to it, complain to your manager about it.

Otherwise, you have the option to quit the job or deal with the teasing.

 

[eerelations]

I meant kids. And yes, I was implying that sexually suggestive responses - inappropriate in any work setting - are especially inappropriate when made to kids.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

I meant kids. And yes, I was implying that sexually suggestive responses - inappropriate in any work setting - are especially inappropriate when made to kids.

Just a little yank to see if the chain was still connected.

 

[cbg]

BTW, EVEN IF the OP is a vegetarian for a religious reason, unless the employer/co-workers KNOW it's for a religious reason, it's still not protected. They cannot be discriminating for a religious reason if they are unaware of the religion.

 

[JohnErick]

Thank You

Hey everyone, sorry it's taken so long to get back into the thread. I had a problem with my log in that is obviously fixed!

I have to say this is one of the best group of posts I've ever had on a topic I've needed help with. Since this is rather old now, I do want to reiterate that it is strictly for personal beliefs that I shouldn't be eating other "beings". So I guess depending on how you look at it, it's ethical or moral, but it is NOT religion based.

An awesome meme I ran across says "What you eat is a personal choice, Who you eat is not a personal choice".

I have been amazed at how much angst this subject brings out in people - perhaps because we can be so vocal (ref. the joke above by tranquility) which is awesome and very true! I mean it's just food and what you eat and why it matters to so many other people that they have to sometimes become aggressive is really strange to me... but anyway. Thanks for the advice, it is very helpful and I'll just have to let the comments roll off and ignore them. I am tired of the job anyway and I am looking to move on so it will probably rectify itself (hopefully!!).

Thanks again everyone!