Chrln_little
Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland
I have two children with my ex. When they were very young, he disappeared. He only called to make threats about how he was going to do this or that and saw my kids maybe twice during the four year period that he was in and out. He filed for custody a few months after he disappeared and then dropped the case because he was no longer interested. I never refused to allow him to see the kids, he just had no interest. He would threaten to file for custody just to get me worked up and then he would disappear again.
In October, his current girlfriend decided that he should see his kids, so he filed for full custody. I allowed him to start seeing them every other weekend just as he asked. It is his right to see the kids, he is their father. We went through mediation and sat down with attorneys, which is apparently the typical ritual for Maryland. We worked out a custody agreement and he signed on the dotted line. At the time all seemed great, but just like with everything that seems great, it went downhill pretty fast. I have full physical custody, he sees them every Wednesday and keeps them for overnights every other weekend from Friday 4:30 through Sunday 6pm. We share legal custody 50/50. However, given his history, they gave us a tiebreaker for school and medical decisions. A neutral party from the school is the tie breaker for school. Their pediatrician is the tie breaker for medical decisions.
My 8 year old was diagnosed with ADHD/Bipolar when he was about four years old. He was unable to concentrate in class and he had serious anger outbursts. My 6 year old was diagnosed with ADHD and Sensory Integration Disorder when he was about three. He was seriously a danger to himself. His ADHD was so severe that his attention span would not hold out through an entire activity, such as running across the yard. The doctor finally called it quits and decided that it was time to medicate him after he began hurting himself with typical daily activities.
Our custody agreement became active about a month ago. Since then, their father has done pretty much everything he can to undo everything I have done as a parent for the last 4 1/2 to 5 years.
1. He has had my oldest son removed from 1/2 split day school. My oldest son is gifted and in second grade. Because he is easily bored, the school has arranged for him to attend 1/2 day second grade and 1/2 day third grade. The classes he had in the third grade classes are ones that he excels in and all of his grades are within an "A" average. Their father's reasoning is that it was not convenient for him because his girlfriend has a 2nd grader and it isn't fair to her that my son isn't doing the same work, it makes her feel bad.
2. Is demanding the school stop the IEP development process because it is not necessary, he is praying enough for the both of us and my 6 year old will be cured in no time. At this time they have not stopped, but regardless this is getting out of hand and it extremely ridiculous.
3. Calls the school every week. Yes, this is a great way for him to get involved with their education, but not when the school is reporting to me that all he does on the phone is talk down about me and how I have allowed one of my kids to "excel" and the other to fall behind. This is not my fault, as the child who is struggling does so because of his attention span an inability to recall information given to him. He can recall it on paper, but not in real life situations. He does not actually talk about the progress they have made and how he can work with them to make their education more productive.
4. Has raised enough trouble with the doctor to have my kids removed from their medication on a two week trial basis. He belongs to a religion that believes praying is the answer and tells the kids that they have problems because I did not pray hard enough to make them go away. ( I was not aware of this when I signed the agreement because he told his attorney and my attorney that he was a standard christian. Apparently 50/50 legal custody allows him to request a 2 week trial of them being off of their medication during the school year as many times as he would like. My oldest seems fine, he is struggling some with his moods, but my youngest is a mess. He can't think straight, redirection is a waste of time, and meltdowns occur repeatedly because his ADHD is clashing with his overactive sensory system. I have recorded at least 3 hours of behavioral issues with attempted redirection. I have spoke to the doctor about it, but he says as long as their father requested a complete break from the medication, he has to abide by his wishes. Yes, I have the medication, but no, I cannot morally or legally give it to him against his doctor's wishes. My 6 year old has even had to go to the emergency room because he was unsafe and was given a sedative.
5. Refused to allow me to take them to their counselor's appointments and convinced my kids that their medication is poison in a pretty capsule.
My questions are:
1. At what point can I override him for my children's well being?
2. Do I have to check with him before I take my kids to counselor's appointments if it is on my time and does not interfere in his time and I provide him with records.
3. How do I remove his blockade with developing an IEP for our child's best interests?
4. Prevent him from taking my kids off of their necessary medications for his own vindictive or religious reasoning?
I have two children with my ex. When they were very young, he disappeared. He only called to make threats about how he was going to do this or that and saw my kids maybe twice during the four year period that he was in and out. He filed for custody a few months after he disappeared and then dropped the case because he was no longer interested. I never refused to allow him to see the kids, he just had no interest. He would threaten to file for custody just to get me worked up and then he would disappear again.
In October, his current girlfriend decided that he should see his kids, so he filed for full custody. I allowed him to start seeing them every other weekend just as he asked. It is his right to see the kids, he is their father. We went through mediation and sat down with attorneys, which is apparently the typical ritual for Maryland. We worked out a custody agreement and he signed on the dotted line. At the time all seemed great, but just like with everything that seems great, it went downhill pretty fast. I have full physical custody, he sees them every Wednesday and keeps them for overnights every other weekend from Friday 4:30 through Sunday 6pm. We share legal custody 50/50. However, given his history, they gave us a tiebreaker for school and medical decisions. A neutral party from the school is the tie breaker for school. Their pediatrician is the tie breaker for medical decisions.
My 8 year old was diagnosed with ADHD/Bipolar when he was about four years old. He was unable to concentrate in class and he had serious anger outbursts. My 6 year old was diagnosed with ADHD and Sensory Integration Disorder when he was about three. He was seriously a danger to himself. His ADHD was so severe that his attention span would not hold out through an entire activity, such as running across the yard. The doctor finally called it quits and decided that it was time to medicate him after he began hurting himself with typical daily activities.
Our custody agreement became active about a month ago. Since then, their father has done pretty much everything he can to undo everything I have done as a parent for the last 4 1/2 to 5 years.
1. He has had my oldest son removed from 1/2 split day school. My oldest son is gifted and in second grade. Because he is easily bored, the school has arranged for him to attend 1/2 day second grade and 1/2 day third grade. The classes he had in the third grade classes are ones that he excels in and all of his grades are within an "A" average. Their father's reasoning is that it was not convenient for him because his girlfriend has a 2nd grader and it isn't fair to her that my son isn't doing the same work, it makes her feel bad.
2. Is demanding the school stop the IEP development process because it is not necessary, he is praying enough for the both of us and my 6 year old will be cured in no time. At this time they have not stopped, but regardless this is getting out of hand and it extremely ridiculous.
3. Calls the school every week. Yes, this is a great way for him to get involved with their education, but not when the school is reporting to me that all he does on the phone is talk down about me and how I have allowed one of my kids to "excel" and the other to fall behind. This is not my fault, as the child who is struggling does so because of his attention span an inability to recall information given to him. He can recall it on paper, but not in real life situations. He does not actually talk about the progress they have made and how he can work with them to make their education more productive.
4. Has raised enough trouble with the doctor to have my kids removed from their medication on a two week trial basis. He belongs to a religion that believes praying is the answer and tells the kids that they have problems because I did not pray hard enough to make them go away. ( I was not aware of this when I signed the agreement because he told his attorney and my attorney that he was a standard christian. Apparently 50/50 legal custody allows him to request a 2 week trial of them being off of their medication during the school year as many times as he would like. My oldest seems fine, he is struggling some with his moods, but my youngest is a mess. He can't think straight, redirection is a waste of time, and meltdowns occur repeatedly because his ADHD is clashing with his overactive sensory system. I have recorded at least 3 hours of behavioral issues with attempted redirection. I have spoke to the doctor about it, but he says as long as their father requested a complete break from the medication, he has to abide by his wishes. Yes, I have the medication, but no, I cannot morally or legally give it to him against his doctor's wishes. My 6 year old has even had to go to the emergency room because he was unsafe and was given a sedative.
5. Refused to allow me to take them to their counselor's appointments and convinced my kids that their medication is poison in a pretty capsule.
My questions are:
1. At what point can I override him for my children's well being?
2. Do I have to check with him before I take my kids to counselor's appointments if it is on my time and does not interfere in his time and I provide him with records.
3. How do I remove his blockade with developing an IEP for our child's best interests?
4. Prevent him from taking my kids off of their necessary medications for his own vindictive or religious reasoning?
