Confused by the court order

[Serenity2009]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I am very confused at this point, when we were in court, we agreed to a graduated visitation plan, the first two phases of the plan were supervised so that our daughter could get to know her father, we are entering into the third phase of the schedule, where my daughter's visits are (CO States) "visits shale assume the schedule as the child ____(her brother older brother) with the exception of weekends." after 6 months she would assume the same schedule as her brother, including weekends.

Now, my son is in school, his visitation schedule fluxcutates, if he is in school he has a single weekday visit with his father after school. When he is not in school, he has one day with his father during the week and every other week he has two (following my weekend).

We fought a great deal in court, my understanding when we left court, was that as our son is in school, and the importance the children's lawyer placed on my son's presence helping our daughter adjust to the change, that she would have the same after school visits as her brother. Their father is insisting that visitations be twice weekly for two full days. That would be a jump from 2 hour twice weekly supervised (he usually only used one hour twice weekly) to about 8 hours twice a week every other week and 8 hours on the alternating weeks. Either way he is trying to pick up on the wrong days at least two hours late with out notification, just shows up.

My daughter is only 1, she is still terrified of him, he tried to take to a different part of the store we were in during her last visit (he tries each visit) and she got hysterical, I mean she screamed cried and made her self vomit she got so upset. Yes it took time for her to get that upset, about 20 minutes. I want her to have a relationship with her father, I just don't want her to suffer like that.

Maybe I am confused, however, with the stress the children's lawyer put on our son helping our daughter through the transition, I had thought my interpretation was correct.

I can not get a hold of either my lawyer or the children's, just trying to figure out who's interpretation is correct, and if I need to file for a modification. (our court order has a clause allowing for either side to file for modification with out significant change.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I am very confused at this point, when we were in court, we agreed to a graduated visitation plan, the first two phases of the plan were supervised so that our daughter could get to know her father, we are entering into the third phase of the schedule, where my daughter's visits are (CO States) "visits shale assume the schedule as the child ____(her brother older brother) with the exception of weekends." after 6 months she would assume the same schedule as her brother, including weekends.

Now, my son is in school, his visitation schedule fluxcutates, if he is in school he has a single weekday visit with his father after school. When he is not in school, he has one day with his father during the week and every other week he has two (following my weekend).

We fought a great deal in court, my understanding when we left court, was that as our son is in school, and the importance the children's lawyer placed on my son's presence helping our daughter adjust to the change, that she would have the same after school visits as her brother. Their father is insisting that visitations be twice weekly for two full days. That would be a jump from 2 hour twice weekly supervised (he usually only used one hour twice weekly) to about 8 hours twice a week every other week and 8 hours on the alternating weeks. Either way he is trying to pick up on the wrong days at least two hours late with out notification, just shows up.

My daughter is only 1, she is still terrified of him, he tried to take to a different part of the store we were in during her last visit (he tries each visit) and she got hysterical, I mean she screamed cried and made her self vomit she got so upset. Yes it took time for her to get that upset, about 20 minutes. I want her to have a relationship with her father, I just don't want her to suffer like that.

Maybe I am confused, however, with the stress the children's lawyer put on our son helping our daughter through the transition, I had thought my interpretation was correct.

I can not get a hold of either my lawyer or the children's, just trying to figure out who's interpretation is correct, and if I need to file for a modification. (our court order has a clause allowing for either side to file for modification with out significant change.

Why is your child reacting this way?

Does your child go to day care? Did she "vomit" when she was first left with her daycare provider?

 

[Serenity2009]

She does not go to day care, I telecommute. I have left her with a sitter for an hour a few times,she did cry most of the time, but she was never hysterical.

 

[Ohiogal]

She does not go to day care, I telecommute. I have left her with a sitter for an hour a few times,she did cry most of the time, but she was never hysterical.

The way it is worded, dad is correct. The problem with the wording is that it does not state that the baby is supposed to visit at the same time as older brother. The baby has the schedule of the older problem.

File to have the wording clarified. Why is the child hysterical? It is not making sense.

 

[Serenity2009]

The way it is worded, dad is correct. The problem with the wording is that it does not state that the baby is supposed to visit at the same time as older brother. The baby has the schedule of the older problem.

File to have the wording clarified. Why is the child hysterical? It is not making sense.

It is usually just him that she gets hysterical with I believe it is because he irritates her. When she starts to cry he puts his hand over her mouth and takes it away so her crying makes a strange sound, he cracks up, she screams louder(I did tell him not to, it is making it worse, he told me to... well I am sure you can imagine) He also said she'd eventually cry her self to sleep and get over it.

We do not disagree when the children are present, when she made her self hysterical and sick I did insist on taking her back to calm her down, once she was calm again he went on like nothing happened and tried again. After making her hysterical again, the visit ended with him saying she is a spoiled brat and him shoving her at me.

I do agree she needs to be better with out me, but there has to be a better way.

I will be filing today. Thank you.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I am very confused at this point, when we were in court, we agreed to a graduated visitation plan, the first two phases of the plan were supervised so that our daughter could get to know her father, we are entering into the third phase of the schedule, where my daughter's visits are (CO States) "visits shale assume the schedule as the child ____(her brother older brother) with the exception of weekends." after 6 months she would assume the same schedule as her brother, including weekends.

Now, my son is in school, his visitation schedule fluxcutates, if he is in school he has a single weekday visit with his father after school. When he is not in school, he has one day with his father during the week and every other week he has two (following my weekend).

We fought a great deal in court, my understanding when we left court, was that as our son is in school, and the importance the children's lawyer placed on my son's presence helping our daughter adjust to the change, that she would have the same after school visits as her brother. Their father is insisting that visitations be twice weekly for two full days. That would be a jump from 2 hour twice weekly supervised (he usually only used one hour twice weekly) to about 8 hours twice a week every other week and 8 hours on the alternating weeks. Either way he is trying to pick up on the wrong days at least two hours late with out notification, just shows up.

My daughter is only 1, she is still terrified of him, he tried to take to a different part of the store we were in during her last visit (he tries each visit) and she got hysterical, I mean she screamed cried and made her self vomit she got so upset. Yes it took time for her to get that upset, about 20 minutes. I want her to have a relationship with her father, I just don't want her to suffer like that.

Maybe I am confused, however, with the stress the children's lawyer put on our son helping our daughter through the transition, I had thought my interpretation was correct.

I can not get a hold of either my lawyer or the children's, just trying to figure out who's interpretation is correct, and if I need to file for a modification. (our court order has a clause allowing for either side to file for modification with out significant change.

I think its clear that she is to have the same visits as her brother, and I would insist on that.

 

[Ohiogal]

I think its clear that she is to have the same visits as her brother, and I would insist on that.

That is NOT what the order states however. the order states "shall have the schedule of other child" and not visit at the same as the older child with the exception" nor does it say the SAME schedule". It just says schedule and that is an issue. It is NOT clear.

 

[LdiJ]

That is NOT what the order states however. the order states "shall have the schedule of other child" and not visit at the same as the older child with the exception" nor does it say the SAME schedule". It just says schedule and that is an issue. It is NOT clear.

If she gave us word for word:


"visits shall assume the schedule of the child________with the exception of weekends."

I think that its clear that the intent was that the child would be there when her brother is there. I certainly don't think mom will be held in contempt if she makes the child available at the same time that her brother is there.

The judge clearly wanted the brother there to ease the situation for the one year old and going from supervised visits right into 8 hours would be unusual.

 

[mistoffolees]

If she gave us word for word:


"visits shall assume the schedule of the child________with the exception of weekends."

I think that its clear that the intent was that the child would be there when her brother is there. I certainly don't think mom will be held in contempt if she makes the child available at the same time that her brother is there.

The judge clearly wanted the brother there to ease the situation for the one year old and going from supervised visits right into 8 hours would be unusual.

I agree. "shall assume the schedule of the child xxx with the exception of weekends" appears fairly clear to me. The second child should be on the same schedule as the first one - which means the same visitation days and hours.

It sounds like the intent is clear - and if it goes back to court, the wording might be changed, but the intent is that the two kids will be visiting at the same time.

 

[CJane]

I agree. "shall assume the schedule of the child xxx with the exception of weekends" appears fairly clear to me. The second child should be on the same schedule as the first one - which means the same visitation days and hours.

It sounds like the intent is clear - and if it goes back to court, the wording might be changed, but the intent is that the two kids will be visiting at the same time.

Me three. And if I was Mom, I would insist on it. It's pretty obvious that the court would not intend for the child to go from extremely limited supervised visitation to so much alone time with the other parent.