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dos8395

Member
What is the name of your state?undefinedWhat is the name of your state? Virginia.

My son & his ex girlfriend have a child, 1 1/2 years old. Last Sept. (04) the mom took thier son to Arizona to visit her family. She decided not to return to VA. She didn't tell my son that, & he filed for custody in VA when his son & the babys mom didn't return... After he filed, she "woke-up" & they worked out an amicable agreement; & it was heard before a Judge. They were both awarded Joint custody with Shared Physical Custody. I flew out in Dec. & got the baby (agreement says an authorized family member may get the child) & all was well. There was DAILY contact between mother & father & child. In March, the babys Aunt flew out & returned him to AZ. Again, daily phone calls & all was well. Until 3 weeks ago. We found out mom had another child on May 20. She says it's not my sons... My son has tried to contact her since the new babys birth, to talk to her & or his son. No return calls from Mom or her family. Last weds. (the 8th of June) he found out mom & babies moved to Co. to live with an aunt & sister after she was evicted from her apt. in AZ. He talked to a family member in AZ last night & they said they didn't think she'll be at the airport to exchange his son... He finally got a cell phone number, but no address. He has made numerous calls trying to talk to babys mother but has gotten no return call. Tomorrow (June 14) I am supposed to fly out & get his son... Everything has been amicable; families have gotten along, & we have gotten a gift for her new child; he is my grandsons brother no matter what. My son has not pursued any legal remedies (contempt, etc) to this point because he thinks she may just be confused & just having had another baby, this adds to her emotional state we believe... If she does not meet me, what steps should he take? We believe we have all bases covered in case she does not show up; I've been given authority to contact police, my son already talked to the police out in AZ. & was told what documentation etc I was to bring. But if I come home without my Grandson, what steps should he take after I get back?

OK. A little background. The mom got pregnant with the baby after a "one night stand" with my son (both parents have stated that). We all lived in a small town in Co. He was in high school, barely 18, she 2 years older & living with a sister. Shortly after she became pregnant, we, as a family, moved to the East Coast. The babys mom moved to AZ after finding out she was pregnant to get support from her Mom (who lives in AZ) through pregnancy & the baby was born in AZ. My son wasn't told about the pregnancy or birth because, according to her, she didn't want to "ruin his life" & all his plans. I honestly believe her intentions were good. When the baby was 3 or 4 months old, the mom moved back to CO. in Dec '03 & that's when friends of my sons put it all together, contacted my son, & told him about the baby. He immediately called her & found out the baby had been born in Sept. '03. He took full responsibility, & a short time after he found out, he flew baby & mom out to VA. to visit. Paterninty was established. Mom decided to move to Va. permenately & did so in June '03. The rest is history... Please advise ~ I am on a plane at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow & am literally sick to my stomache... Thank you!
 


Zephyr

Senior Member
bring all the documentation you were advised to bring, if mom doesn't show up, contact authorities, file police report, get copy of report, when you return without child dad should immediately file for at least contempt of court, he should definitely get an attorney.
 

casa

Senior Member
dos8395 said:
What is the name of your state?undefinedWhat is the name of your state? Virginia.

My son & his ex girlfriend have a child, 1 1/2 years old. Last Sept. (04) the mom took thier son to Arizona to visit her family. She decided not to return to VA. She didn't tell my son that, & he filed for custody in VA when his son & the babys mom didn't return... After he filed, she "woke-up" & they worked out an amicable agreement; & it was heard before a Judge. They were both awarded Joint custody with Shared Physical Custody. I flew out in Dec. & got the baby (agreement says an authorized family member may get the child) & all was well. There was DAILY contact between mother & father & child. In March, the babys Aunt flew out & returned him to AZ. Again, daily phone calls & all was well. Until 3 weeks ago. We found out mom had another child on May 20. She says it's not my sons... My son has tried to contact her since the new babys birth, to talk to her & or his son. No return calls from Mom or her family. Last weds. (the 8th of June) he found out mom & babies moved to Co. to live with an aunt & sister after she was evicted from her apt. in AZ. He talked to a family member in AZ last night & they said they didn't think she'll be at the airport to exchange his son... He finally got a cell phone number, but no address. He has made numerous calls trying to talk to babys mother but has gotten no return call. Tomorrow (June 14) I am supposed to fly out & get his son... Everything has been amicable; families have gotten along, & we have gotten a gift for her new child; he is my grandsons brother no matter what. My son has not pursued any legal remedies (contempt, etc) to this point because he thinks she may just be confused & just having had another baby, this adds to her emotional state we believe... If she does not meet me, what steps should he take? We believe we have all bases covered in case she does not show up; I've been given authority to contact police, my son already talked to the police out in AZ. & was told what documentation etc I was to bring. But if I come home without my Grandson, what steps should he take after I get back?

OK. A little background. The mom got pregnant with the baby after a "one night stand" with my son (both parents have stated that). We all lived in a small town in Co. He was in high school, barely 18, she 2 years older & living with a sister. Shortly after she became pregnant, we, as a family, moved to the East Coast. The babys mom moved to AZ after finding out she was pregnant to get support from her Mom (who lives in AZ) through pregnancy & the baby was born in AZ. My son wasn't told about the pregnancy or birth because, according to her, she didn't want to "ruin his life" & all his plans. I honestly believe her intentions were good. When the baby was 3 or 4 months old, the mom moved back to CO. in Dec '03 & that's when friends of my sons put it all together, contacted my son, & told him about the baby. He immediately called her & found out the baby had been born in Sept. '03. He took full responsibility, & a short time after he found out, he flew baby & mom out to VA. to visit. Paterninty was established. Mom decided to move to Va. permenately & did so in June '03. The rest is history... Please advise ~ I am on a plane at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow & am literally sick to my stomache... Thank you!

What state issued the court order for custody/visitation? That is the state the father needs to file in. Does the court order address moving out of the state with the child?
How long has Mom been in CO?

Fly out and if Mom isn't there- file a police report. Dad would then need to file against her for contempt & ask to be reimbursed for travel costs. If mom is staying in CO permanently- the visitation order needs to be modified to address the new distance and travel expenses etc. etc.

If son believes the new baby is not his- Fine. If he questions it, he can file in court to establish paternity via DNA to confirm or deny whether the child is his.

He really needs an attorney, as this involves multiple states, contempt, modification of the current court order and possibly establishment of paternity.
 

dos8395

Member
Questions asked & answered

(VA. again!)Order was established in VA., making this my grandsons "home state" from what I understand... Mother has been in CO. 3 weeks this time, but has lived on & off there her whole life & babys life... Son will definetly get a lawyer if it comes down to it. Order states "Each party will keep the other party up to date on current phone numbers & addresses in a timely manner", "both parents will make decisions together regarding health & welfare of child" & goes on to say in case mutual agreement is not met, mediation is agreed on. Also "Child will be allowed healthy access to both parties & each side of childs family". OHOHOH. Right here; it says "Each party intending a change of address shall give 30 days advance written notice of such change to the court & other party"... does that help???

The more advice, the better & it is much appreciated!
 

casa

Senior Member
dos8395 said:
(VA. again!)Order was established in VA., making this my grandsons "home state" from what I understand... Mother has been in CO. 3 weeks this time, but has lived on & off there her whole life & babys life... Son will definetly get a lawyer if it comes down to it. Order states "Each party will keep the other party up to date on current phone numbers & addresses in a timely manner", "both parents will make decisions together regarding health & welfare of child" & goes on to say in case mutual agreement is not met, mediation is agreed on. Also "Child will be allowed healthy access to both parties & each side of childs family". OHOHOH. Right here; it says "Each party intending a change of address shall give 30 days advance written notice of such change to the court & other party"... does that help???

The more advice, the better & it is much appreciated!

Yep, that helps a lot. Your son can file for contempt in his home state. She is contempt for moving without the court ordered 30 day notification. (The reason they have those issues addressed in most court orders is specifically so a parent cannot leave the state with the child)

Mom will have to return to VA for court hearings on the matter. IF the judge finds her in contempt - she will risk anything from a judicial reprimand (& order to return to state) to fines, change of custody, jail time etc.
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
I am wondering if because she moved from the child's residential state to another state, and has violated the co in multiple ways, if she misses this exchange could the situation be veiwed as parental kidnapping?
 

dos8395

Member
Me too!

undefined(VA.) We'd like to know too if this is called kidnapping! Court order states "The parties acknowledge mother lives in AZ & Father lives in VA." Mind you, we do not want to be vindictive or "take revenge" ~ but we don't want to be "stupid" either! Should my son file for contempt first, then modification if she doesn't show up?

We are trying to go on faith that she WILL show up... At one point, Mom of baby talked about moving back out this way, but son does not want to live with her again. My hubby & I offered her help, with getting relocated etc. a long time ago. We believe our grandson needs BOTH parents; neither are "Bad" parents...

Further history; probably uneccesary. Babys maternal grandmother had 12 children (2 are now deceased). First few was while in a violent marriage, she got out but kept having children with various fathers. (No judgement call here, just the way it was). Now, most of these kids are grown... there are 4 "girls" with children (all totaled, 11 kids, including my grandson & his brother) no fathers in site, except my son. This family is not used to having fathers around ~ & no, they are not all collecting welfare OR child support from what I've been told. Anyway, they really & I mean HONESTLY, think it is "Strange" my son wants a relationship with his child. So, that's why we don't believe babys mom is TRYING to be mean ~ she honestly believes this baby is HERS period, because she gave birth & it is "hers". And that is why up til this point our son hasn't filed contempt etc...
 

casa

Senior Member
dos8395 said:
undefined(VA.) We'd like to know too if this is called kidnapping! Court order states "The parties acknowledge mother lives in AZ & Father lives in VA." Mind you, we do not want to be vindictive or "take revenge" ~ but we don't want to be "stupid" either! Should my son file for contempt first, then modification if she doesn't show up?

We are trying to go on faith that she WILL show up... At one point, Mom of baby talked about moving back out this way, but son does not want to live with her again. My hubby & I offered her help, with getting relocated etc. a long time ago. We believe our grandson needs BOTH parents; neither are "Bad" parents...

Further history; probably uneccesary. Babys maternal grandmother had 12 children (2 are now deceased). First few was while in a violent marriage, she got out but kept having children with various fathers. (No judgement call here, just the way it was). Now, most of these kids are grown... there are 4 "girls" with children (all totaled, 11 kids, including my grandson & his brother) no fathers in site, except my son. This family is not used to having fathers around ~ & no, they are not all collecting welfare OR child support from what I've been told. Anyway, they really & I mean HONESTLY, think it is "Strange" my son wants a relationship with his child. So, that's why we don't believe babys mom is TRYING to be mean ~ she honestly believes this baby is HERS period, because she gave birth & it is "hers". And that is why up til this point our son hasn't filed contempt etc...

He should file contempt if she doesn't show up for visitation. Then, once contempt is on the record- he should file for modification regardless...because the visitation will be different from CO than from AZ.
 

dos8395

Member
NOT visitation!

undefinedVA. where son lives, has jurisdiction established, Joint Custody with shared physical... not visitation! Is this considered parental kidnapping?
 

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